Good news, ladies! Society has discovered another
that's wrong with you, which means another opportunity for you to make
yourself more attractive for your man. Score! Turns out, the color of
your vagina is gross and everyone hates it. So bleach that mother
Bleach it right now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Tx9vVVMWw0(somebody please insert vid)
In this commercial for an Indian product called Clean and Dry Intimate Wash, a (very light-skinned) couple sits down for what would
have been a peaceful cup of morning coffee—if the woman's disgusting
brown vagina hadn't ruined everything! The dude can't even bring himself
look at her. He can't look at his coffee either, because it only
reminds him of his wife's dripping, coffee-brown hole! Fortunately, the
quick-thinking woman takes a shower, scrubbing her swarthy snatch with
Clean and Dry Intimate Wash ("Freshness + Fairness"). And poof! Her
vadge comes out blinding white like a downy baby lamb (and NOT THE GROSS
BLACK KIND) and her husband—whose penis, I can only assume, is
literally a light saber—is all, "Hey, lady! Cancel them divorce papers
and LET'S BONE."
Needless to say, certain citizens are troubled by this product—which, in addition to just being insane, brings up painful issues about the hierarchy of skin tone within the Indian community.
As if it isn't bad enough that darker-skinned people are encouraged to
stay out of the sun and invest in skin-bleaching products like Fair & Lovely, and that white actresses are being imported to play Indian people
in Bollywood movies, now everyone has to be insecure about the fact
that their vaginas happen to be the color that vaginas are??? Splendid!
God, I was just saying the other day that my misogyny didn't have enough
racism in it.
So what are the pro-vadge-bleaching people thinking? Here's a hilarious explanation from a male ad exec:
It is hard to deny that fairness creams often get social commentators
and activists all worked up. What they should do is take a deep breath
and think again. Lipstick is used to make your lips redder, fairness
cream is used to make you fairer-so what's the problem? I don't think
any Youngistani today thinks the British Raj/White man is superior to us
Brown folk. That's all 1947 thinking!
The only reason I can offer for why people like fairness, is this: if
you have two beautiful girls, one of them fair and the other dark, you
see the fair girl's features more clearly. This is because her
complexion reflects more light. I found this amazing difference when I
directed Kabir Bedi, who is very fair and had to wear dark makeup for
Othello, the Black hero of the play. I found I had to have a special
spotlight following Kabir around the stage because otherwise the
audience could not see his expressions.
makes perfect sense. We just want our vaginas to reflect more light—is
that so wrong? I mean, WHAT IF MY CAR BREAKS DOWN AT NIGHT AND I DON'T
HAVE A REFLECTIVE ENOUGH VAGINA? Really, the ultimate
one-vagina-to-rule-them-all would glow in the dark like one of those
deep-sea fishes. I need my vagina to attract more krill so my husband
will me again! (My husband is a whale.)
the idea is to get as far away as possible from any color that vaginas
actually come in. Because that's what's at the heart of this type of
thinking—the perfect vagina would be something that's not a vagina at
Edited by Wildfire - Nov 14 2013 at 10:48am