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Your Brain Turns Me On-Equal Intellect Important?

 
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PurplePhase View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 2:59pm

is it important to you that your mate be your intellectual equal?




Your Brain Turns Me On--How Important is Intellect to Sexual Desire, Anyway?

Your Brain Turns Me On--How Important is Intellect to Sexual Desire, Anyway?



We've all known lovers skilled in the bedroom that can't engage in philosophical conversation. Intellectual stimulation does wonders for stirring up intrigue, but how important is a potential mate's intellect to our sexual desire? Great conversations might lead to a midnight foray, but could someone's braininess outweigh other factors, like physical attraction?

Just how important is how smart someone thinks you are?

"I used to feel an intellectual connection was key to sexual desire but I've recently learned that it doesn't have to be," says Rumana, 32, a newly single lawyer living in Brooklyn. "I've gone out a few times with a guy who's not really my 'type.' He's sweet, direct, light, easy. There's almost zero intellectual connection."

Your Brain Turns Me On--How Important is Intellect to Sexual Desire, Anyway?

Desiree, 30, a professor living in Texas, couldn't disagree more. "Are you kidding? Conversation with a stupid man is like being doused with cold water...way to kill the sexy sparks. Maybe my 20-year-old self would have felt differently but as a grown woman, intellectual stimulation is a must for sexual attraction, period."

This begs the question—what the hell is intelligence, anyway? It's a relative term, much more complex than IQ. We might understand intelligence as the ability to learn, problem-solve and engage in abstract thought, while also communicating and being emotionally present. 

Sapiosexual is a term that's been coined to describe people who are most attracted to intelligence.

Both Rumana and Desiree happen to be highly educated professionals with clearly different desires. But we know that street smarts doesn't equal book smarts, right? I love a mix of both.

We asked Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor for Chemistry.com. In her annual study, Singles in America, she asked 13 million people—diverse in terms of race, gender, sexuality, geography, socio-economics—what they thought about sharing education levels with a potential mate.

"Education level and intelligence are decidedly different," Says Dr. Fisher. "We asked them, 'How important is having a similar education level?' Only 40% of men said it's very important, compared to 49% of women."



Edited by PurplePhase - Jul 03 2014 at 3:00pm
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PurplePhase View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 3:11pm
I agree about intellectual stimulation being important.
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 3:14pm
^^^ ALL of what Samone said!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (8) Thanks(8)   Quote callmeDEva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 4:09pm
I like humble intellection.

Can't stand being around someone whose smart and wants everyone to know it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 4:16pm
I found it's not essential to sexual desire at all. The best sex I've ever had was with a man I had nothing in common with. It's essential to sustaining a relationship though. You can only spend so much time fuccing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 4:21pm
I know a woman who barely finished HS, didn't go to college, and doesn't have a job that requires 'intellect' but that girl is way smarter than me. Without trying she schools me up and down in conversations, about pretty much any subject. So yeah, based on knowing her, a similar education background isn't necessary.

On a side note, she also used to be a sex worker. She sort of did away with my presuppositions about dating those too.

We've never dated though.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote zolloh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 5:48pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 5:53pm
I agree with what everyone has said so far.

Just being able to have a conversation with someone even if you have different POV.

Education does not equal intelligence, but I find it is stimulating to be able to interact with someone who can challenge my thoughts, and ideas without it becoming a 'thing'.   

I enjoy learning new things.



   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Sang Froid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 5:57pm
Everyone is a sapiosexual these days let them tell it. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 6:03pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Everyone is a sapiosexual these days let them tell it. 



A sapio what? Who is coming up with these terms? BHM is teaching me that sex is as complicated as astrophysics these days
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