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csungrl09 View Drop Down
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    Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:36pm
This is complicated so try to follow:

I have three bffs. I'll call them Jan, Witney and Aby. We are our own clique (everyone is cool wth everyone else). We all went to the same HS and have been friends since. Things have gotten weird...
 
Jan's birthday is in Feb. For her birthday, all of us went out & had a ball at the club! Jan got calls, texts, facebook posts, apppearance at her celebration, etc from us all.  

my birthday is in March. I wanted to go pole dancing & magically everyone is busy/broke/makes no moves to come celebrate my birthday. Aby was the only one that called me for my birthday. Witney and Jan both forgot and when they remembered neither one of them called me or even bothered to make up for not going out with me.

Aby's birthday was two weeks ago. (She is my closest friend out of the three) and Jan, Witney and I called her, texted, facebook posted, etc. She is in NY so we didn't go out for her day. 

Witney's birthday is TODAY. Jan took her to the club w/o even bothering to mention to me that they were going out definitely. Whitney got calls, text, facebook posts, etc. 

I am away (1 hr.) at school while these Jan and Witney still live at home in our hometown. They see each other often & have only been out to visit me at school once each in my entire FOUR years of school. I have come home for their events whenever they have them (until recently b/c senior years has kept me busy). 

another thing that has been happening is the outings without me & ignoring of my texts (texting my back a day later or not at all). I will admit that Jan and Witney have asked me to go out on occasion & I wouldn't be able to go because of school or work though. They have also texted me about how much they miss hanging out with me.

Now I am having mixed feelings about our friendship. Its obvious that my birthday was overlooked and that I have been kept out of the loop with some things. if these were your friends, what would you do?

I am moving to DC for school & feeling like I should just let the friendships with Jan and Witney go. I'll be closer to Aby (my closest friend) anyway. Would you let them go or try to mend them before the big move?

How would you feel...?
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:39pm
move on and up honey


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mizzsandra00 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:41pm
Some grow closer others grow apart....you're young focus on your new move and meeting new people.......but still nurture your freindship with the closest one........take it as life......you don't have to stop being friends.......just stop putting forth more effort.

Edited by mizzsandra00 - May 12 2013 at 10:42pm
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Lady ICE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:43pm
have you actually just asked them whats going on? and tell them that you feel left out and yada yada? and if youre always busy you cant blame them for going on with their plans.

anyways just ask.
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MinnyMiss16 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MinnyMiss16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:45pm
-Sounds like my situation during undergrad. I felt a little jealous at first, but I got over it once I made good friends at my uni. You have to live your own life and this may include growing apart from some people. These friendships are clearly out of convenience for them and that has proven to be true as Aby is the only friend who sticks around. Its only going to get worse as you move on up with your life.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote cvzx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:46pm
These are friends from high school...well experience has taught me that sometimes friendships run their course. Join a club, committee ect make friends. Build new friendships.

Still talk to those friends just don't be afraid to branch out and build new friendships.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:49pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Some grow closer others grow apart....you're young focus on your new move and meeting new people.......but still nurture your freindship with the closest one........take it as life......you don't have to stop being friends.......just stop putting forth more effort.
Alladis
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:51pm
You don't have three bffs. Make new friends in law school.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote csungrl09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 10:57pm
thanks everyone. 

its just hard b/c i have always wanted to have a set group that I could go through life with you know? damn the media. 

I have a friend who I have been good friends with since the 1st grade & I'll be reuniting with her when I move back to the DMV so I am not so upset about losing Jan and Witney but it still sucks. 

I have made one friend in college that I know I will be in touch with, but other than that its been just me and my man.

 I am looking forward to meeting new people (who are black) with similar interests in law school though
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote csungrl09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 11:08pm
Originally posted by MinnyMiss16 MinnyMiss16 wrote:

-Sounds like my situation during undergrad. I felt a little jealous at first, but I got over it once I made good friends at my uni. You have to live your own life and this may include growing apart from some people. These friendships are clearly out of convenience for them and that has proven to be true as Aby is the only friend who sticks around. Its only going to get worse as you move on up with your life.
 

this is where I am at. I have never been in this position before. I know it will get better soon b/c this move is the most excitement I will have in a while, it should occupy my time just fine.
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