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Would you wait for a man to...

 
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YoursTruly View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:43am
get himself together. Let's say you're in your 30s, you own your own home, own car, great career, no kids. You meet a great man the same age as you (he's hilarious, smart, tall, dark, & handsome, no kids)....he has all the personality traits (and look) you're looking for EXCEPT he doesn't have his financial $hit together. He's looking for a better job, trying to go school, get a better car, and take care of his credit. On one hand I say help him out, motivate him, help build the brotha up....but.....on the other hand I'm like yall the same damn age so why couldn't he have gotten his stuff together by now too. Confused

Would you wait for him to get this $hit together or would you keep it moving?
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QueenBee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (15) Thanks(15)   Quote QueenBee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:52am
Depends. The scenarios is too broad.

Early 30's vs. late 30's

Why is he having financial hardship?

Does he live on his own, with friends, or in his momma's basement?

Trying to go to school -- So he inquiring about attending college, just starting school (taken a few courses) or about to finish up?

Does he have a full time job but looking to advance or his better job is from part time to full time?

For me, car model/year is subjective as long as it goes from point A to B without any major issues.


Edited by QueenBee - Jan 25 2014 at 12:57am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:55am
If he had a real explanation to his financial problem, which does not include blaming someone else, and he is genuinely trying by actively looking for a job, improving his resume, etc, I would be patient.

I have waited on a man before to get his sh!t together. He had a reason, I understood, and later he got the job and made more money than me. I don't like the waiting period though, because you can't go everywhere you want when you don't want to pay for two and he doesn't want you paying for him, so you are kinda of stuck doing cheap or free activities...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (17) Thanks(17)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:00am
As long as he doesn't expect me to pay for him and he isn't in a bad position due to illegal or unethical activities then it's all good.

Finding someone you're compatible with is difficult so I wouldn't let financial issues get in the way.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote YoursTruly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:01am
Originally posted by QueenBee QueenBee wrote:

Depends. The scenarios is too broad.

Early 30's vs. late 30's

Why is he having financial hardship?

Trying to go to school?? Is he inquiring about attending college, just starting school or about to finish up?

Does he have a full time job but looking to advance or his better job is from part time to full time?

For me, car model/year is subjective as long as it goes from point A to B without any major issues.


Early 30s. I believe she said his financial situation is due to being in a car wreck like a year ago and so he couldn't work for a while. But he wasn't making much before that anyway. So now he's doing the preliminary things (getting hs transcripts, testing, etc.) to get into college to get a better job/career.


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Lady ICE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:02am
the world is hard on men sometimes. (sometimes) so..knowing me i'd help him. cause even for myself..ive had a late start....so maybe he just needs help...

as long as hes putting in work..and not tryna quit. none of that..imma take a break and find myself stuff..im there for you. i think
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Bored w/Out Me? View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Bored w/Out Me? Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:05am
As long as he don't plan to get his stuff together while living off of You, I say go for it...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lanae Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:23am
Its perfectly fine to grow with a good, responsible man that earns a modest living. Its in the early stage so as long as he still pays for the dates and has his own (car, place etc) then sure why not.

Edited by lanae - Jan 25 2014 at 1:29am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:52am
Originally posted by YoursTruly YoursTruly wrote:

Originally posted by QueenBee QueenBee wrote:

Depends. The scenarios is too broad.

.


Early 30s. I believe she said his financial situation is due to being in a car wreck like a year ago and so he couldn't work for a while. But he wasn't making much before that anyway. So now he's doing the preliminary things (getting hs transcripts, testing, etc.) to get into college to get a better job/career.



Was he in jail?, before he got into the car wreck? Is he fine, does he have a third leg? Hmm can you give us a pic of him if available.
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f8dagrate View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:55am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

the world is hard on men sometimes. (sometimes) so..knowing me i'd help him. cause even for myself..ive had a late start....so maybe he just needs help...

as long as hes putting in work..and not tryna quit. none of that..imma take a break and find myself stuff..im there for you. i think

hmmm yeah no. I wish my brother or son would say some ish like this to me. Especially if were in a first world country. Yea, I know about racial discrimination. But, I don't do well with excuses like this. No offense to you Lady ice.
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