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would you leave some1 because of finance probs?

 
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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 20 2014 at 5:40pm
Nah but seriously, when it comes to serious relationships, especially a healthy and balanced one, two people MUST be on the same LEVELS otherwise you are NOT equally yoked and there will be problems. You need to be on the same self-esteem level, financial level, spiritual/religious level, etc. etc. etc. 
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 21 2014 at 8:18pm
I thought I have read a thread from OP before and I was right, I found it... he is the guy who she has to cuddle, not the other way around.... You used to or you still mother him... I hope you learned to stop it.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 24 2014 at 5:51pm
Im on my fone again sry for my language xp

Well sexynfamous im improving a bit on that section but hes top cute not to cuddle lol :p but regarding motherish yes im improving.

I dont know what to say... Till now we dont have any probs *touch wood* but we ll se what may.come in the future..

Thx ,xx
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 24 2014 at 5:55pm
U mentioned gd pnts though my bf never came to ask for money or to borrow . Just saying.

But gd speech
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

People say to be with someone on the same or better level financially because money problems causes stress and arguments. You can be with him but like khivey wrote, just don't give him money.

The mentality "I'll be with him regardless of his economical status" is typical of uneducated girls who also have low self-esteem and stick to the first guy who shows interest in them. You should not be checking how much someone has before dating him, but you should be careful when falling for a guy who doesn't have a job or seems constantly broke. The bad signs are when he blames everyone for his financial problems instead of taking responsibility, and either expects you to pay for his stuff because you work or asks to borrow money.

Those girls end up broke due to amount of money given to the guy, and some even quit trying to get a promotion or a better job because what she makes is "good enough" in the guy's opinion.

So if your boyfriend gets a minimum wage job but he doesn't guilty trip you into paying for things or for having more money, then there's nothing wrong with being with him. I also would suggest that sometimes you cook at home together instead of eating out, that way he won't feel like sh!t for being able to only take you to fast food places.

But going to school and working will open the doors to a new world, and you might even meet someone new, so keep your mind open. I know you like him and whatever, but usually we only realize how much we missed out after time passed, so just keep your eyes open, you might meet someone on the same or better level as you, who is just as great or better than the current boyfriend.
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 26 2014 at 6:31am
OP, you be careful.

That kind of doting can lead to you being manipulated and sucked dry.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 26 2014 at 6:31am
Hold it ... you mean you are the SAME woman that also made that post about acting like your boyfriend's mother, anticipating his needs, doing for him, cuddling him etc ... AND now you are talking about his financial sitution in THIS post? And ... you don't think you have any problems?

Wow. I'd like to know what is so special about THIS particular guy that would cause you could tolerate such a man ... that is clearly lacking on SO MANY fronts? It sounds like you have some self-esteem issues to be associated with such a character.

I don't even think you can get much lower in terms a finding a partner, I mean ... you can't fall off the floor. Duh!

(Shrugs) Good luck with your next 30 years of 'carrying' this grown man though.

Edited by Printer_Ink - Feb 26 2014 at 6:34am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AriesBabe09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 26 2014 at 10:35am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

OP, you be careful.

That kind of doting can lead to you being manipulated and sucked dry.

I agree with this, you will be sucked dry and not in a good way Tongue

I was VERY mothering to my ex-bf and it did not end well. I had to move on and literally make him learn how to do things for himself.
 I used to cook, clean and take care of the bills (he would contribute $$ but I had to pay them and the bulk of them) We're not together, but we have a child which is why we still are in contact with each other, so for a while after we broke up he still looked for me to do the things that I did when we were together. Example....he didn't know how to open his own gym membership. He wanted to be on my cell phone plan although we are not together. Of course I REFUSED to do any of that, which led to tantrums from him. 
It was a MESS, emotionally draining and it did suck me dry. It was like I had two children when we were together...smh. BUT that experience has made me realize what I want from the next man and what I will and will not tolerate in a relationship.
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demilee27 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote demilee27 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 12:35am
i cant be with someone if he cant financially take care of himself...and me(if I needed him too).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 12 2014 at 3:35pm
I agree with Printer

I make more than my man..been working longer than him.I've been the bread winner in this relationship. Don't matter to me at all its not a competition

He's not a bum at all its just tough to land decent jobs over here especially if you a black man with dreads..they decriminate a lot over here..

Anyways. I'm starting college soon also.

We was having a talk about our future plans he said he would like me to work part time and use the financial aide for bills because I'm pregnant.. were moving out and getting married he feels like Im doing too much..

But now that I think about it he didn't want to be around me in the past sometimes cuz he felt ashamed that he was making x amount of dollars.. so I agree I think its in a mans nature to want to Bring home the Bacon...and I don't see a problem with it and I actually respect it cuz this world getting infected with bums especially men who depend on women like they their mom...won't even bother getting a damn job.

Edited by Twisted_Angel - Mar 12 2014 at 3:36pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 12 2014 at 3:43pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:


Lastly .. you are in school? Really? Because your English is really very bad.


I'm sorry but that's *&%^$#@En hilarious..
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