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would you leave some1 because of finance probs?

 
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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2014 at 8:58pm
Be with who you want, just don't give these nuccas any money :) 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Petty LaBelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2014 at 9:52pm
bc Money problems cause relationship problems
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2014 at 9:46am
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

You're a student so dating someone on your "financial level" is a little silly. Most college students are being supported by their parents. lol...

My issue with the young man you mention is his work ethic. The fact that he doesn't want to finish school....is a big red flag. So unless he's about go into the military...this means he has no plan for this life. A man who doesn't know where he's going, ends up no where in life.

IMO, finances can change. In some cases a degree or a certification can chnage a tax bracket... If the man is willing to work hard to get there and his woman is supportive. I've seen it in my own relantionship.  I think many women miss out on great guys because they want a 'ready-made' man. 

But, if dude in question is just genetically lazy and has absolutely no drive to change his circumstance...then RUN FAST! That type of person you do NOT need to be friends with let alone date. 
 
I agree but it .. it's not always finances ... it's who you are.

For example I once dated a guy was a selfmade (almost) millionnaire that started a chain of Sporting Goods stores at 19 and by the time he was 46 - he had 8 of them plus an online store. Okay, financially he was doing much better than me. However, as time went on .. my interests envolved into all sorts of things that he had no interest in and when we argued one day ... instead of calling me by my name .. he called me 'College'. The intent was .. since I went to 'College' I thought I know more than him on this topic.
 
Well, he always gave me the impression my education was no issue but by the SECOND time we got into an argument (over whatever) and he called me 'College' again and rolled his eyes ... yes, I knew it was the beginning of the end. This because even though he made more money .. he was LESS EDUCATED than me.
 
Now if it were the other way around .. him being more educated than me  (regardless of the money) there would have been no problem. His ego would have been good and fed. :)
 
As far as dating someone that make less money than the woman - I stand by my experiences because 95% of the men I have dated have made less than me - and these are professional educated men.
 
Not just me, but neighbors, familly, co-workers ... articles I have read etc ... all have the same result.
 
When the woman earns more money than the guy .. unless he is a HIGHLY EVOLVED Alpha man ... it's gonna turn into ' a problem' sooner or later and for many reasons.
 
Example: If want to take a trip to Tibet again .. he can't afford this and I am not gonna wanna pay his way, not that he would accept it so either I go without him (he is mad) or I don't go at all (so I am mad). See what I mean? Too much for the guy's ego to withstand and I am not willing to 'dumb down' my lifestyle because he can't afford the things I like.
 
Again, if it were the other way around - the guy would just pay the girls way to Tibet .. and this would not be an issue at all. Again his ego is fed. :)
 
So sure I think if the OP loves this guy .. give it a try. Just BE AWARE that such relationships usually come to a bad end so don't invest too much of yourself or you will be hurt in the end.
 
Life lasts ... a lonnng time so 20 years now things will be sooooo different. You have to have a lifemate that you can GROW WITH.
 
But the MONEY THING is the number 1 reason for divorce .. and for a lot of reasons.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2014 at 2:07pm
Goodm, though im a student i pay almost everything fibeor myself unlike other students at school....

Secindy i support him i also helped him in 2 exams nd studied hard with hin for those exams in which i had my other exams ,

where i focused a lot on his rathr than mine but i decided that.
And till there he wants to go regarding schoo l he doesnt like it. It doesnt mean u dhouldnt ho out with other people becausr tgey dont want to study i think? My uncle didnt like school but has a family and works hard for it...

But thats my point of view

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2014 at 2:13pm
Thx for ure advice everyone :)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2014 at 2:17pm
(shrugs) Good luck with all that 'giving' you are extending toward .. a man. I really think you are making a mistake .. but you will have to find out .. the hard way.

And wow ... I predict that when he gets comfortable and gets on his feet .. he will move on so that HE can 'give' to another woman.

I don't think you should use your Uncle as sa gauge for this success. There are too mamy factors ..

Lastly .. you are in school? Really? Because your English is really very bad.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2014 at 2:37pm
Sry im writong bad because im on my phone and i hate to write with this touch so i write short n fast ..;/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2014 at 2:38pm
Why im so positove near u guys? I hope i have nothing wrong bur thx all
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 20 2014 at 1:54pm
People say to be with someone on the same or better level financially because money problems causes stress and arguments. You can be with him but like khivey wrote, just don't give him money.

The mentality "I'll be with him regardless of his economical status" is typical of uneducated girls who also have low self-esteem and stick to the first guy who shows interest in them. You should not be checking how much someone has before dating him, but you should be careful when falling for a guy who doesn't have a job or seems constantly broke. The bad signs are when he blames everyone for his financial problems instead of taking responsibility, and either expects you to pay for his stuff because you work or asks to borrow money.

Those girls end up broke due to amount of money given to the guy, and some even quit trying to get a promotion or a better job because what she makes is "good enough" in the guy's opinion.

So if your boyfriend gets a minimum wage job but he doesn't guilty trip you into paying for things or for having more money, then there's nothing wrong with being with him. I also would suggest that sometimes you cook at home together instead of eating out, that way he won't feel like sh!t for being able to only take you to fast food places.

But going to school and working will open the doors to a new world, and you might even meet someone new, so keep your mind open. I know you like him and whatever, but usually we only realize how much we missed out after time passed, so just keep your eyes open, you might meet someone on the same or better level as you, who is just as great or better than the current boyfriend.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 20 2014 at 2:07pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:


My issue with the young man you mention is his work ethic. The fact that he doesn't want to finish school....is a big red flag. So unless he's about go into the military...this means he has no plan for this life. A man who doesn't know where he's going, ends up no where in life.

IMO, finances can change. In some cases a degree or a certification can chnage a tax bracket... If the man is willing to work hard to get there and his woman is supportive. I've seen it in my own relantionship.  I think many women miss out on great guys because they want a 'ready-made' man. 



Yes, I think a lot of men have the potential for growth, but many women dump the guy when he isn't up to what she wants. I see potential in the men I date, but I have never and will not give money to them. Years ago, I met my ex who was unemployed, but that was because he was trying to work for a certain particular company and after a year he finally was hired. He had money saved and he spent all on me, didn't let me pay for anything. But he was only 20 and he lived with his parents, so it was easier.

School is not for everyone, but if your boyfriend had a plan when he quit, it would have sounded more reasonable than simply quit because "school ain't for me". Now he is getting a minimum wage job and he should have realized the benefits of college are many when you don't have plans to achieve your goals (if you have any goals though).
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