Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Relationships
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - would you leave some1 because of finance probs?
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
 

would you leave some1 because of finance probs?

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>






Author
ihatepd123 View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 30 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 52
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: would you leave some1 because of finance probs?
    Posted: Feb 07 2014 at 4:04pm
many people say that u shouldnt date somebody that is not in your financial level.

i am a student and i work and the course im studying, when i qualify i will have a good salary, more than double than my boyfriend would have.

my boyfriend at the moment doesnt work but will start within 1-2 months , but he stopped school so he will find minimum wage. estimated from statitics my wage would be surely more than double or more.

however, I DONT MIND ABOUT THIS AT ALL.

i have a question: why do people tell others to find someone in their same level of income or similar? would this be a really strong effect on love ? if u really love the person than not....

im asking because maybe because im akward or strange i have this mentality....

any ideas??!?!
[not intended to offend any! :) ]
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Printer_Ink View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 29 2011
Location: Amsterdam
Status: Offline
Points: 22533
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 07 2014 at 9:14pm
Well, people say that because men .. (on average) have a BIG problem with their women making more than they make.

That is the bottom line. That fella will have to be truely 'evolved' if he is to tolerate this imbalance. Maybe it's okay at first but it chips away at his self esteem mostly so then it will have to come to an end.

(It does not matter if you don't mind - eventually it will mind TO HIM.)

That way he can find a girl that has much less than him .. and he can be the breadwinner for her. Then you can meet a guy that is doing as well as you are doing ... more or less.

Now if it's the other way around - meaning your man makes double what you make .,. this will not be a problem and no one will say he is dating outside of his league so it can't work. That situation will work out ..just fine in fact.



Edited by Printer_Ink - Feb 07 2014 at 9:18pm
Back to Top
Blac1Chyna View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 06 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 21651
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Blac1Chyna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 07 2014 at 10:55pm
I wouldn't even date a dude who's paper wasnt right so love has nothing to do with it b/c i wouldnt give him the opportunity to fall in love with him.

I'm not tryna knock your love, but i will never understand how a woman with a good salary  job would feel comfy dating a nicca making minimum wage. Children at their first fast food jobs make minimum wage. That's just not feasible for an adult with bills and responsibilities. Who's he living off of?

Men who date above their financial class usually tend to be looking for a come up
Back to Top
Midna View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 02 2010
Location: Hell
Status: Offline
Points: 232735
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 08 2014 at 4:12am
Yes.

But honestly, I'm at an age where those my age are still finding their footing in life, as am I, and the town I live in is pretty isolated and its job market is not very 'giving.'

So a lot of people around me have a harder time with their financial footing. I don't judge about that.

What will cause me to leave though is when I'm just dealing with a freaking bum/user and those are not as uncommon as I'd like to think.
Back to Top
Printer_Ink View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 29 2011
Location: Amsterdam
Status: Offline
Points: 22533
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 08 2014 at 6:44am
Yes, the market is hard all over so a lot of guys are taking what they can and that is not the problem. (and if he's a bum ... definitely that's out.)

The problem is ... that if you as the woman are making much more than he is making ... for any reason .. this will be a strain on the relationship.

Even if he likes you etc .. it will eat at him until he will create some drama etc so that you can break it off which means he is free to meet another girl that is making about what he is making and he can feel better about himself.

I've seen it 'tried' but long term .. meaning at lesast 5 years into it ... the relationship has to come to an end.

It's not you, it's his ego .. too fragile. :(

Edited by Printer_Ink - Feb 08 2014 at 6:45am
Back to Top
ihatepd123 View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 30 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 52
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2014 at 3:45pm
to printer ink...

i know i posted this topic for everyone to write and we can discuss,
but i dont think that i agree with u [ dont take me wrong] people have different opinions. but yes i think that someday a sort of jealousy because ill get more than he gets but i dont think he will ever EVER arrive to that conclusion neither. 


and to the other person that commented about falling in love with this type of guy;
firstly, we met when we were both studying, BUT SCHOOL ISNT FOR EVERYBODY! not every1 likes it... i dont but i understand its long term benefits from it...
and secondaly, if when i met him he was min wage, I LOVE HIM FOR HIS CHARACTER FOR THE WAY HE IS NOT FOR HIS WAGE....

BUT EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT OPINION THOUGH...

I never see money in my life, i had more than 1 opportunity to go out with other man that were richer than he is, even with a business man, but never wanted, always ignored them ;]]
Back to Top
Printer_Ink View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 29 2011
Location: Amsterdam
Status: Offline
Points: 22533
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2014 at 4:16pm

Well, you asked a question .. and I gave you an answer.

When you make a post asking a question ... you have to expect people to post their opinions. If you want everyone's opinions to be the same as yours .. then you have to say something like 'I only want to hear from people that share my opinion.'
 
That would be the only way to have other people post their agreement with your position.
 
Hey, I don't know everything but .. I know a lot because I've seen the beginning, middle and utilmately ... the end to a lot. You will see.
 
Back to Top
ihatepd123 View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 30 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 52
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ihatepd123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2014 at 4:29pm
hei girl :)

i didnt want any1 to share posts that has my  opinion that wasnt the aim of it... i wanted to hear other POVs, in fact i did write this. i just said my opoinion like others and u did.

and i appreciaate you did post your opinion.

i didnt want to be understood badly :(

but thx :) xxx 
Back to Top
Beauty620 View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 28 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 1471
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2014 at 11:30am
They say MEN are to provide, and if he isn't doing half of what he should then don't waste your time. Me on the other hand I like to give people a try, It's hard out here and I'm not looking down on anyone. If he needs to get on his feet he can do so....I won't help as much but i'll try to guide him along the way, and after awhile if he is still in the same situation then i'll reconsider leaving or staying.

I say if your making more than him, that's great. But if he is leeching off of your income then that's not so great.

Hope I made some sort of sense.
Back to Top
goodm3 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 01 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 36143
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2014 at 4:40pm
You're a student so dating someone on your "financial level" is a little silly. Most college students are being supported by their parents. lol...

My issue with the young man you mention is his work ethic. The fact that he doesn't want to finish school....is a big red flag. So unless he's about go into the military...this means he has no plan for this life. A man who doesn't know where he's going, ends up no where in life.

IMO, finances can change. In some cases a degree or a certification can chnage a tax bracket... If the man is willing to work hard to get there and his woman is supportive. I've seen it in my own relantionship.  I think many women miss out on great guys because they want a 'ready-made' man. 

But, if dude in question is just genetically lazy and has absolutely no drive to change his circumstance...then RUN FAST! That type of person you do NOT need to be friends with let alone date. 
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
House of CB London
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
The Elite Hair Care Sorority
Electric Cherry Hair
Hair Extensions Wefted Hair Wigs and More
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Dime Curves Enhancement Shake
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Switch Up your Look with a protective Style
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down