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would it cause you ire if your S.O

 
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JasmineE02 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote JasmineE02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 10:58am
It'd be really weird.  I'd probably get him into therapy.  He shed a tear for his grandfather.  I think he may shed 2 for me.  If he was emotionally moved by someone he knew 20 years ago, I'd assume he had an emotional breakthrough or a psychotic break. LOL
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ThatGurlD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote ThatGurlD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 11:06am
Depends on their story.  First love?  Lots of great memories?  Kids?  I've been with hubby 12 years and married almost 10 and I would be quite distraught if my first passed.  He was the boo of my youth.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 11:22am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

was to mourn an ex from lets say 20 years ago as if they broke up last week?

I dont have a problem with him mourning on the day of the funeral or breaking down at the funeral. But Dude at home in a dark room crying with swollen red eyes, hyperventilating and snot? Refusung meals and losing weight from the stress of mourning? Yes, i would have every right to be upset even if it was his 1st wife etc. I was just thinking yesterday about how I have seen first hand 4 times where old men are in the hospital on their death bed and yelling for their true love (Your name is Helen and the old husband is calling out 'Maryyyy, where is Maryyyy' and the wife has the right to be pissed about that too.

With the second part of the question saying 'how did the spouse find out about the death so quickly?'. I wouldnt be pissed about that b/c with social media, I am very easy to find quickly and also I know that my parents know everyone I know's parents and my parents have had the same phone # since 1980, so if someone that 'really' knows me needs to reach me all they have to do is send a message thru my parents.


Edited by NJHairLuv - Apr 27 2014 at 11:23am
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naturesgift View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote naturesgift Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 11:25am
Originally posted by ThatGurlD ThatGurlD wrote:

Depends on their story.  First love?  Lots of great memories?  Kids?  I've been with hubby 12 years and married almost 10 and I would be quite distraught if my first passed.  He was the boo of my youth.  
serious, Mourning is very personal people should not be under scrutiny because they feel deeply... if more people felt for each other than the world would be a different place. If they cried this deeply for an X imagine how it will be when you (current spouse) Die
I would cry if any of my ex- bf pass even the rotten one who cheated on me because even the worst and the best are humans and we shared time in our lives... that should be honored in some way
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThatGurlD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 11:28am
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by ThatGurlD ThatGurlD wrote:

Depends on their story.  First love?  Lots of great memories?  Kids?  I've been with hubby 12 years and married almost 10 and I would be quite distraught if my first passed.  He was the boo of my youth.  
serious, Mourning is very personal people should not be under scrutiny because they feel deeply... if more people felt for each other than the world would be a different place. If they cried this deeply for an X imagine how it will be when you (current spouse) Die
I would cry if any of my ex- bf pass even the rotten one who cheated on me because even the worst and the best are humans and we shared time in our lives... that should be honored in some way

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 12:02pm
Depending on the depth of their relationship, I wouldn't mind cuz if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd mourn too.

I was with my first off and on for YEARS, and then we were really good friends for a LONG time after. We still speak a few times a year.

If he died, I'd be so sad just cuz we have so much history together. Doesn't mean I creeped or would have if he was still alive tho.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 12:12pm
I'd be sad if my first boyfriend passed and I honestly don't feel any kind of way about that man but the idea of someone you once loved dying makes you face your own mortality.  Ppl were moved by the death of someone they've never met on here----so why wouldn't you be moved by someone you shared memories and love with?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 12:14pm
i think that mourning/grieving is one thing but the situation in the OP is very different:
"was to mourn an ex from lets say 20 years ago as if they broke up last week?"

One of my much older cousins down south died and she was known for her legendary beauty even in old age. This one guy that 'courted her' during her youth but no longer lived in the region took it extremely hard. He mourned like they had just broke up, like he wasnt married and like it was his recent ex that just died.

We were down south at the florist that our family uses (the florist is a distant cousin and went to school with my mom). The florist discreetly told me and my mom that 10 years after our cousin's death, the guy that was smitten and mourned abnormally hard still sent money to the florist once a year for 10 years to put an elaborate floral arrangement on her grave on her birthday and the man's wife did not know.  Yes, there is a such thing as doing the most.

*Trigger warning* Im going to add insult to injury, the man that mourns and send the money for the floral arrangement every year and his wife are very dark, my deceased cousin that was heralded for her beauty was a North Carolina lite skin light eye Indian.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote herwoman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 12:24pm
If the two people that I loved from my past dies, I would cry my eyes out. I always want to see them doing good, living well and happy. I don't want anything bad to happen to them as they were a huge part of my life. They know my family and my friends, I would be sad. I actually just got teary eyed typing this. I go through a box of Kleenex at weddings so I might just be extra sensitive.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2014 at 12:50pm
I think it would be weird as hell, I would not like it.
It would only be understandable if he had been married to her before, had kids who are part of his life, had been in touch with her because they had good communication due to the kids... I would not be mad in that case and I would probably mourn her too.
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