Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Workplace bully/Manipulator
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Perfect Hair Collection
 

Workplace bully/Manipulator

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234>




The Best Human Hair Available with No Service Match

Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 2 Votes, Average 3.00  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 20 2011
Location: SupaFlyKingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 143924
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:45am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Being very well liked is not a reason for you to let her mess with your money... Separate your personal feelings about her from your professional standing in the company & your job.  

You are the second person to tell me that. So I guess I’m gonna have to get over my personal feelings about her. I’m just worried that if I confront the manager directly, I will lose however little support I have with her and antagonize her. But I hear what you’re saying


It's not right for you to have to deal with that at work because everyone likes her. How would the directors feel about losing profits because your work is being suffocated and therefore you are not making enough of a contribution to the organisation as you ought to be? I am sure if you find the correct person to talk money and value with them when your team is working at 100% productivity in comparison to the stifled current situation they would be very interested. 

So who exactly handles your work if your manager and the other lady do not even have a clue on what you are doing. That person would be the correct person to speak to I'm sure.  
 
That's the problem right there! Since the manager is incapable of evaluating my work, she leaves it to that bish to do it because she figures she's been working for the company the longest. Except that she actually keeps introducing mistakes into my work with her reviews! And when I bring it to my boss' attention, she either tries to downplay it or sides with her because she doesn't know didley. I've been doing this for over 11 years and she's been doing this for 4. She even tells another colleague with 20 years of experience that "she'll get better at it eventually, with her counsel"! She comes off as competent when what she needs to go is go back to school and get a degree. But she knows how to present things in a convincing way and she's a master networker
 


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 10:53am
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Organic View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: May 11 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 55522
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Organic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:55am
There was a lady like this at my old job. They called her the Wicked Witch of the West. Apparently, lots of people were fired under her, and no one was ever promoted. She would always come to my office and try to make 'small talk', but something about her really turned me off, so I stayed faaaar away. I'm glad I did.

Good luck, JP. A  hostile work environment is no fun. I remember being outside my building having a panic attack at 7am because I didn't want to face my supervisor. This was before I 'grew balls' and learned to stand up for myself and not feel guilty in doing so.

I really hope things work out for you. We spend too much time at work to be miserable.
Back to Top
JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 20 2011
Location: SupaFlyKingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 143924
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:14am
Originally posted by Organic Organic wrote:

There was a lady like this at my old job. They called her the Wicked Witch of the West. Apparently, lots of people were fired under her, and no one was ever promoted. She would always come to my office and try to make 'small talk', but something about her really turned me off, so I stayed faaaar away. I'm glad I did.

Good luck, JP. A  hostile work environment is no fun. I remember being outside my building having a panic attack at 7am because I didn't want to face my supervisor. This was before I 'grew balls' and learned to stand up for myself and not feel guilty in doing so.

I really hope things work out for you. We spend too much time at work to be miserable.
 
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Organic. I try to stay the fucc away from her as much as I can and I don't hide my disdain either. Problem is, there are times when I am forced to deal with her when she's put in a position to "critique" my work. I had no problem telling everything I needed to say to her face at the meeting. The problem is I don't quite know how to handle my manager's apathy without getting in her crosshairs


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 11:15am
Back to Top
Derri View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 26 2008
Location: Paradise
Status: Offline
Points: 64547
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:39am
I've had this situation before, and in theory it did not work out well for me. She abused her 'power' and pretty much got me fired. God don't like ugly though, and it was a great blessing in disguise.
Back to Top
Miss SDY View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 10 2011
Location: Cloud 9 Million
Status: Offline
Points: 63449
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Miss SDY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:51am
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:


Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.

I myself am keeping my eyes open for a new opportunity (no luck so far). But this is the second time in a row that I'm confronted with this and it seens that Human resources was not created to defend the employees but management. And my manager is scared sh*tless of her, as she has somewhat managed to get the previous team fired by mounting a case (don't know how the hell she managed that feat, but she did). Now she deems herself invincible. She insults EVERYBODY in the team on a regular basis and will have you believe that only her work is valid and nobody elses. Complaints have been filed against her by other colleagues to no avail. To complicate things further, the manager is not capable of assessing the quality of the work of those that are under her authority and therefore depends on her to do it! This is mind-bogling to me. I'm reading this book called "The bully at work" and this bish fits the profile to a T!



You just wrote my story almost to a T. This is my second rodeo with a very toxic work environment. I work with this lady on second shift. She starts out as nice. Everyone warned me without warning me about hoe this lady is. Gradually, as I became familiar with the procedures, she started doing less and less and I start doing more and more work. It is to the point to where she is not pulling any weight at all and she makes up fake reasons as to why she can't do this and that. She thinks she's perfect and she has more mistakes than our whole department put together.

I started noticing how fake she is. She grins and kee-kee's in everyone's face and then talks so much sh*t behind their backs. Our direct supervisor let's her do these things because he says she knows a lot about our department. Plus she's cool with our region manager. Once I started noticing these things, and discussing them, my co-workers begin to talk more about her and they wanted me to see for myself vs telling me when I was relatively new. 4 people that worked my same shift with her have quit because of not getting along with this woman and that this woman is lazy. This lady had also went to HR on a few people. But its really hard to get fired from our company so..

But I have not been looking hard for a job just yet because of the holidays but I am about to get to searching hard soon. I'm to the point where I'm boiling over and I've been kind of rude and nasty to her. It's not full fledged like it can be but she knows I hate her now. She's been talking cash money sh*t about me to other co-workers and its out of control now. This woman is 55 years old. She can't take what she dishes out and is known to cry when people go left on her and get in her ass.
 
Jeezus, they all use the EXACT SAME STRATEGIES! It's like they have the manipulator's handbook or something! You are going through the exact same thing as I am. The only thing I can tell you is to not be outright rude and nasty to her, but do feel free to take subtle shots. If you're outright rude to her, she'll start crying her white woman tears and paint YOU as the antisocial type. Write down every egregious incident, with dates and details. If possible, enlist the help of other people who also feel slighted to try and see if they can back up your statements (a lot of people won't want to put themselves out there like that but it's worth a try.
 
Other than that, I don't know what else to tell you because I'm in the same predicament and it's hard. Even the book I'm reading is a little bit pessimistic about the outcomes in this type of situation (The advice I just gave you comes from this book) and they tell you to keep your eyes open for a new job at the same time. I just feel like the universe is trying to tell me something and that if I don't somehow manage to get a handle on this, I'll just move on to another job in the same situation again. I even got called the N-word by one of her manager friends and allies when no one was around, 2 weeks ago. I didn't report that because I knew no one would believe me. I might have made a mistake on that one, I don't know...


I think you should have reported her because that is beyond crossing the line. That's disrespectful.

As for the bolded 'white woman tears', this lady I'm dealing with is black. She says her dad is a French Indian though.. but whatever. I've been told that she hates black people and discouraged her children from procreating with black men... I have two co-workers that will go to bat for me because they loathe this woman more than I do.. Im already 'antisocial' according to her bc I never talk to her and whenever she does say something to me, I look at her like she has two heads or something.. She asks everyone if I ever talk with them...
Back to Top
JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 20 2011
Location: SupaFlyKingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 143924
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 12:02pm
^^^ Yes, it was certainly beyond disrespectful.  The woman that spit the N-Word at me is a manager from another department who works on my floor and happens to be close to my coworker. She said it when no one was around, not witnesses. Took me completely off guard, too. I was just walking down the hallway and she just tells me "Good morning, N..." out of the blue. Don't even have anything to do with her for her to even accost me like that at all. I felt that had I gone to HR, no one would have believed me because I'm new in the place, she's the manager of the actuarial department and she has a fairly ethnically diverse team working under her. It would have looked like I have problems with everyone in there and I still have to find a way to deal effectively with my own work situation all the while looking credible. So I just decided to focus on what would harm me the most...
 
As far as your situation goes, it's good that your coworkers hate her even more and are willing to vouch for you. You guys can come up with a concerted plan to push her out. Bullies often crumble when faced with a collective onslaught


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 12:04pm
Back to Top
eanaj5 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 29 2009
Status: Online
Points: 115466
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 12:33pm
What did you say after she said that? Confused
Back to Top
sistagal View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 02 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 37844
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sistagal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 1:24pm
Do not...I repeat...DO NOT give that woman attitude. Use reverse psychology if you have to. What you want to do is to bid your time until you get a new job OR until you get to a status where people start taking your word over hers. But the later would take a LOT more time and patience. 

So be nice to her even if it makes your insides ache. Be nice to everyone & get as many people to think the world of you. If you are in a mood because of her all the time people are most likely to say to her "Yeahhh I see what you mean.. She's rude" & etc. 

So you get on with your work & during this time make sure you have studying your contract & employee handbook & DO NOT step out of line & every time she does make a note of it. Build rapport with your colleagues, even if it means writing down birthdays & etc lol. & it will give you places to escape to at work when she's being a right cow. 
Back to Top
JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 20 2011
Location: SupaFlyKingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 143924
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 4:32pm
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Do not...I repeat...DO NOT give that woman attitude. Use reverse psychology if you have to. What you want to do is to bid your time until you get a new job OR until you get to a status where people start taking your word over hers. But the later would take a LOT more time and patience. 

So be nice to her even if it makes your insides ache. Be nice to everyone & get as many people to think the world of you. If you are in a mood because of her all the time people are most likely to say to her "Yeahhh I see what you mean.. She's rude" & etc. 

So you get on with your work & during this time make sure you have studying your contract & employee handbook & DO NOT step out of line & every time she does make a note of it. Build rapport with your colleagues, even if it means writing down birthdays & etc lol. & it will give you places to escape to at work when she's being a right cow. 
 
Yeah, that's not gonna happen. I'm the "get in to do my job, get out" type of gal. I have a hard time faking it. I'm polite, though
Back to Top
JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 20 2011
Location: SupaFlyKingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 143924
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 12:03pm
I gotta admit that my self-esteem is taking a hit with this. I know it's not my fault but I'm not sleeping well, I'm so anxious that I twisting my hands and feet in my sleep to the point that it hurts, I just don't know what to do. Looking for openings in my field but there's not much out there at present time. I'm SOOOOO tired of having to start all over again wherever I go. I think issues from my last workplace carried through this workplace and are messing with my reputation, on top of this bully I have to contend with. I feel so low and I could use some words of encouragement, if you have any
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
House of CB London
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
The Elite Hair Care Sorority
Electric Cherry Hair
Hair Extensions Wefted Hair Wigs and More
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Dependable Quality Hair
Switch Up your Look with a protective Style
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down