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sbrownie84 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote sbrownie84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:48am
I have had this experience a couple of years ago that I am still bitter about. Unfortunately the maniupulator was the manager who was backed by his manager and even HR. I tried my best to resolve the situation at the location of my job but when I saw that the manager and upper manager was taking me lightly I had to play hardball. Here is what I have learned from the experience.

Put EVERYTHING in writing. No one takes you seriously until you do. 

Start using words like hostile work environment and stating that you feel 'unsafe'.

If you decided to have verbal communications with the employee or other managers on the matter or just in general, have a tape recorder or cell phone recorder on. 

If you can try your best to transfer.....go ahead.

Most importantly, do not let anyone have control over your bread and butter. Rise above and reclaim your control. You do not have to put up with anyone's crap, and if it requires you having to get ugly and putting up a big fight to do so.......do it. 

Best of luck and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It will get better trust me. :)
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:51am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Slip some whisky in her coffee & let her get fired for being drunk on the job. Lol iJoke

It is very difficult to deal with a person like that & unfortunately if you retaliate you will be the bad person.. It's really horrible that your manager is scared of her. Is there noone else higher to approach? I'm sure if your manager finds her job threatened because of this woman she'll spring into action. 
 
If I had to slip anything into her coffee, I don't trust myself for it not to be antifreeze, lol.
 
The thing is, at least 2 people in the team have lodged in formal complaints to HR and every single one of my colleagues (included myself) have complained to the manager individually and she has agreed with every single one of us that this woman is a pest. But in public, she'll take her side. And that' s what makes things particularly difficult. As nice as she is, she's incapable of evaluating the quality of work of the people under her, so she assumes that this chick knows what she's doing because she,s been there the longest. An attack against the troublemaker might end up being perceived by her as an attack on her because she's not pulling her weight the way she should. She is so aware of the situation that during my job interview, both her and the HR representatives grilled me on how I react to a "difficult person within the team". That should have been my clue but I didn't realize just how "difficult" this person would turn out to be
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:55am
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

I have had this experience a couple of years ago that I am still bitter about. Unfortunately the maniupulator was the manager who was backed by his manager and even HR. I tried my best to resolve the situation at the location of my job but when I saw that the manager and upper manager was taking me lightly I had to play hardball. Here is what I have learned from the experience.

Put EVERYTHING in writing. No one takes you seriously until you do. 

Start using words like hostile work environment and stating that you feel 'unsafe'.

If you decided to have verbal communications with the employee or other managers on the matter or just in general, have a tape recorder or cell phone recorder on. 

If you can try your best to transfer.....go ahead.

Most importantly, do not let anyone have control over your bread and butter. Rise above and reclaim your control. You do not have to put up with anyone's crap, and if it requires you having to get ugly and putting up a big fight to do so.......do it. 

Best of luck and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It will get better trust me. :)
 
Great suggestions, SBrownie. I need to go get myself a tape recorder. I hadn't thought of that. This is frustrating because this is my career at stake. It's not just a temporary thing to make ends meet.
 
And I have gotten ugly and started putting up a fight, but I don't think I handled it properly. I let my emotions get in the way. I need to learn to be more strategic but it's difficult because this bish is relentless


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 9:56am
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sistagal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sistagal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:00am
I agree with sbrownie. From now on whenever you put it a complaint record EVERYTHING. 

Even when you speak to her, or if it is at all possible have one of your colleagues that had complained as well as a witness or to record everything. 

& people take bullying very serious so do use the words in your complaint. Even if you have to say it is stressing you out to the point of having to take anti-depressants & with a doctor's note to back it up lol. 

Exaggerate if you have to!! Or they will keep brushing you aside. Then if nothing happens after all of this collect your material together, and approach her again and say you have done everything you could and now you are considering going to someone higher to lodge a complaint. At least she will know that you do not want it to come to that and you are giving her a chance to rectify the situation & any unfair dismissal/suspension of you will be duly noted in your complaint as you have done nothing wrong.  
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sistagal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sistagal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:01am
If you get a tape recorder you have to let her know you are recording. 

I don't know if the law is the same there as it is here but anything that is recorded without the other party being aware cannot be used in court as it is a violation of their private life or some bull life that.

If not, then great idea!! lol
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sistagal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sistagal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:03am
Also, can you explain is some detail what she does & how you have handled it so far please? 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:09am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

I agree with sbrownie. From now on whenever you put it a complaint record EVERYTHING. 

Even when you speak to her, or if it is at all possible have one of your colleagues that had complained as well as a witness or to record everything. 

& people take bullying very serious so do use the words in your complaint. Even if you have to say it is stressing you out to the point of having to take anti-depressants & with a doctor's note to back it up lol. 

Exaggerate if you have to!! Or they will keep brushing you aside. Then if nothing happens after all of this collect your material together, and approach her again and say you have done everything you could and now you are considering going to someone higher to lodge a complaint. At least she will know that you do not want it to come to that and you are giving her a chance to rectify the situation & any unfair dismissal/suspension of you will be duly noted in your complaint as you have done nothing wrong.  
 
Thanks for the advice. I am planning to see my doctor next week to talk to her about the stress of the harassment, to have some medical backup (and because I need some advice!) I'm leery of using the psychologists provided throught the company plan, their allegiance is usually to their employer. I am a bit leery of lodging a complaint higher up, though. This manager is very well liked (and I can see why, she's a very kind woman in many ways, except she's not handling her business!) But I will get serious on the documenting. This chick knows the handbook by heart because she managed to get rid of an entire team before I even got on board. One of the first things she said to me when I started working there is that there was a girl on contract before me who had a "bad attitude" and kept "slamming drawers and behaving crazy". It's almost like she was warning me of her "clout" and reveling in it. What I need to do is keep my emotions in check and become ultra-strategic
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:16am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Also, can you explain is some detail what she does & how you have handled it so far please? 
 
- I have had numerous conversations with my manager to explain her disruptive influence on myself and the team (to which she replied that I was right and to keep up standing up to her!)
 
-She is oftentimes given the task to review my work and she has negative feedback everytime, even though it is unsubtantiated (she has less experience than me and is not even formally trained in my line of work, yet she evaluates other people!). Problem is, I  cannot counter her claims with my manager because my manager knows nothing about my work, she only makes sure that tasks are assigned and followed through, but she has no way of judging quality control. She pretty much admitted to this herself.
 
- She criticizes everybody else behind their backs too. I called a meeting the other day and my manager set it up with her and another dude who is her only ally in the team. I pretty much exposed all her tactics. The other colleague took her side as I expected him too. And the manager called in the meeting to discuss "my work methods" instead of the actual problem at end (even though in private, she tells me I do a good job)
 
I forgot to mention that the manipulator is at the same level as I am. She is not a higher up in any way. But she is given review tasks that are beyond her


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 10:24am
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sistagal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sistagal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:33am
Being very well liked is not a reason for you to let her mess with your money... Separate your personal feelings about her from your professional standing in the company & your job. 

It's not right for you to have to deal with that at work because everyone likes her. How would the directors feel about losing profits because your work is being suffocated and therefore you are not making enough of a contribution to the organisation as you ought to be? I am sure if you find the correct person to talk money and value with them when your team is working at 100% productivity in comparison to the stifled current situation they would be very interested. 

So who exactly handles your work if your manager and the other lady do not even have a clue on what you are doing. That person would be the correct person to speak to I'm sure.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:44am
what does your bullying and harassment policy say?
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