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sistagal View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:03am
Also, can you explain is some detail what she does & how you have handled it so far please? 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:01am
If you get a tape recorder you have to let her know you are recording. 

I don't know if the law is the same there as it is here but anything that is recorded without the other party being aware cannot be used in court as it is a violation of their private life or some bull life that.

If not, then great idea!! lol
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:00am
I agree with sbrownie. From now on whenever you put it a complaint record EVERYTHING. 

Even when you speak to her, or if it is at all possible have one of your colleagues that had complained as well as a witness or to record everything. 

& people take bullying very serious so do use the words in your complaint. Even if you have to say it is stressing you out to the point of having to take anti-depressants & with a doctor's note to back it up lol. 

Exaggerate if you have to!! Or they will keep brushing you aside. Then if nothing happens after all of this collect your material together, and approach her again and say you have done everything you could and now you are considering going to someone higher to lodge a complaint. At least she will know that you do not want it to come to that and you are giving her a chance to rectify the situation & any unfair dismissal/suspension of you will be duly noted in your complaint as you have done nothing wrong.  
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:55am
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

I have had this experience a couple of years ago that I am still bitter about. Unfortunately the maniupulator was the manager who was backed by his manager and even HR. I tried my best to resolve the situation at the location of my job but when I saw that the manager and upper manager was taking me lightly I had to play hardball. Here is what I have learned from the experience.

Put EVERYTHING in writing. No one takes you seriously until you do. 

Start using words like hostile work environment and stating that you feel 'unsafe'.

If you decided to have verbal communications with the employee or other managers on the matter or just in general, have a tape recorder or cell phone recorder on. 

If you can try your best to transfer.....go ahead.

Most importantly, do not let anyone have control over your bread and butter. Rise above and reclaim your control. You do not have to put up with anyone's crap, and if it requires you having to get ugly and putting up a big fight to do so.......do it. 

Best of luck and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It will get better trust me. :)
 
Great suggestions, SBrownie. I need to go get myself a tape recorder. I hadn't thought of that. This is frustrating because this is my career at stake. It's not just a temporary thing to make ends meet.
 
And I have gotten ugly and started putting up a fight, but I don't think I handled it properly. I let my emotions get in the way. I need to learn to be more strategic but it's difficult because this bish is relentless


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 9:56am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:51am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Slip some whisky in her coffee & let her get fired for being drunk on the job. Lol iJoke

It is very difficult to deal with a person like that & unfortunately if you retaliate you will be the bad person.. It's really horrible that your manager is scared of her. Is there noone else higher to approach? I'm sure if your manager finds her job threatened because of this woman she'll spring into action. 
 
If I had to slip anything into her coffee, I don't trust myself for it not to be antifreeze, lol.
 
The thing is, at least 2 people in the team have lodged in formal complaints to HR and every single one of my colleagues (included myself) have complained to the manager individually and she has agreed with every single one of us that this woman is a pest. But in public, she'll take her side. And that' s what makes things particularly difficult. As nice as she is, she's incapable of evaluating the quality of work of the people under her, so she assumes that this chick knows what she's doing because she,s been there the longest. An attack against the troublemaker might end up being perceived by her as an attack on her because she's not pulling her weight the way she should. She is so aware of the situation that during my job interview, both her and the HR representatives grilled me on how I react to a "difficult person within the team". That should have been my clue but I didn't realize just how "difficult" this person would turn out to be
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:48am
I have had this experience a couple of years ago that I am still bitter about. Unfortunately the maniupulator was the manager who was backed by his manager and even HR. I tried my best to resolve the situation at the location of my job but when I saw that the manager and upper manager was taking me lightly I had to play hardball. Here is what I have learned from the experience.

Put EVERYTHING in writing. No one takes you seriously until you do. 

Start using words like hostile work environment and stating that you feel 'unsafe'.

If you decided to have verbal communications with the employee or other managers on the matter or just in general, have a tape recorder or cell phone recorder on. 

If you can try your best to transfer.....go ahead.

Most importantly, do not let anyone have control over your bread and butter. Rise above and reclaim your control. You do not have to put up with anyone's crap, and if it requires you having to get ugly and putting up a big fight to do so.......do it. 

Best of luck and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It will get better trust me. :)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:44am
Slip some whisky in her coffee & let her get fired for being drunk on the job. Lol iJoke

It is very difficult to deal with a person like that & unfortunately if you retaliate you will be the bad person.. It's really horrible that your manager is scared of her. Is there noone else higher to approach? I'm sure if your manager finds her job threatened because of this woman she'll spring into action. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:42am
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:




My manager is an awesome man but he is not handling this lady like he needs to either. People in my department complain amongst ourselves but no formal.complaint with HR has been filed yet. We know our direct management ain't sh*t but we hate to go over their heads and want to follow the chain of command. But I have decided to just move on because I refuse to spend my days stressed at a place where I spend 8 hours or more at.

I haven't came out on top in this situation yet. I left my last job and they fired my manager 3 weeks after I started my current job.[/QUOTE]
 
Same here. What usually happens is that they are genuinely scared for themselves because of the perceived clout that the manipulator seems to be holding or they are completely bamboozled by the person. My manager has told me in private that she's a difficult person to work with, yet she supports her in public because she somehow thinks that her knowledge of the company is precious and unmatched (sic)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:39am
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.

I myself am keeping my eyes open for a new opportunity (no luck so far). But this is the second time in a row that I'm confronted with this and it seens that Human resources was not created to defend the employees but management. And my manager is scared sh*tless of her, as she has somewhat managed to get the previous team fired by mounting a case (don't know how the hell she managed that feat, but she did). Now she deems herself invincible. She insults EVERYBODY in the team on a regular basis and will have you believe that only her work is valid and nobody elses. Complaints have been filed against her by other colleagues to no avail. To complicate things further, the manager is not capable of assessing the quality of the work of those that are under her authority and therefore depends on her to do it! This is mind-bogling to me. I'm reading this book called "The bully at work" and this bish fits the profile to a T!



You just wrote my story almost to a T. This is my second rodeo with a very toxic work environment. I work with this lady on second shift. She starts out as nice. Everyone warned me without warning me about hoe this lady is. Gradually, as I became familiar with the procedures, she started doing less and less and I start doing more and more work. It is to the point to where she is not pulling any weight at all and she makes up fake reasons as to why she can't do this and that. She thinks she's perfect and she has more mistakes than our whole department put together.

I started noticing how fake she is. She grins and kee-kee's in everyone's face and then talks so much sh*t behind their backs. Our direct supervisor let's her do these things because he says she knows a lot about our department. Plus she's cool with our region manager. Once I started noticing these things, and discussing them, my co-workers begin to talk more about her and they wanted me to see for myself vs telling me when I was relatively new. 4 people that worked my same shift with her have quit because of not getting along with this woman and that this woman is lazy. This lady had also went to HR on a few people. But its really hard to get fired from our company so..

But I have not been looking hard for a job just yet because of the holidays but I am about to get to searching hard soon. I'm to the point where I'm boiling over and I've been kind of rude and nasty to her. It's not full fledged like it can be but she knows I hate her now. She's been talking cash money sh*t about me to other co-workers and its out of control now. This woman is 55 years old. She can't take what she dishes out and is known to cry when people go left on her and get in her ass.
 
Jeezus, they all use the EXACT SAME STRATEGIES! It's like they have the manipulator's handbook or something! You are going through the exact same thing as I am. The only thing I can tell you is to not be outright rude and nasty to her, but do feel free to take subtle shots. If you're outright rude to her, she'll start crying her white woman tears and paint YOU as the antisocial type. Write down every egregious incident, with dates and details. If possible, enlist the help of other people who also feel slighted to try and see if they can back up your statements (a lot of people won't want to put themselves out there like that but it's worth a try.
 
Other than that, I don't know what else to tell you because I'm in the same predicament and it's hard. Even the book I'm reading is a little bit pessimistic about the outcomes in this type of situation (The advice I just gave you comes from this book) and they tell you to keep your eyes open for a new job at the same time. I just feel like the universe is trying to tell me something and that if I don't somehow manage to get a handle on this, I'll just move on to another job in the same situation again. I even got called the N-word by one of her manager friends and allies when no one was around, 2 weeks ago. I didn't report that because I knew no one would believe me. I might have made a mistake on that one, I don't know...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:33am
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

When an environment is too toxic for me, I just leave.

It's hard to make changes as one person. If she is ruining everyone's reputation and others haven't spoke up about it, then its hard to make things better without some backing/evidence(other people speaking out too).

I hate coming to a job where I am miserable. I am only as loyal to my job as I need to be to progress in my career.



 
That's the thing, though. This is the second workplace situation where i've had to leave due to a toxic environment but I'm getting sick of being on the losing end of this. People have spoken up to the manager individually and she knows the deal. Problem is she says one thing to you in private and another in public because she's afraid that her flaws will be revealed. She's the nicest person there is, but her management skills are lacking for allowing this person to roam free and unchecked. And I do have to earn a living,
 
I'd love to know if someone on here has ever battled a similar situation and come out on top, and what they did to protect themselves



My manager is an awesome man but he is not handling this lady like he needs to either. People in my department complain amongst ourselves but no formal.complaint with HR has been filed yet. We know our direct management ain't sh*t but we hate to go over their heads and want to follow the chain of command. But I have decided to just move on because I refuse to spend my days stressed at a place where I spend 8 hours or more at.

I haven't came out on top in this situation yet. I left my last job and they fired my manager 3 weeks after I started my current job.
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