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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 12:02pm
^^^ Yes, it was certainly beyond disrespectful.  The woman that spit the N-Word at me is a manager from another department who works on my floor and happens to be close to my coworker. She said it when no one was around, not witnesses. Took me completely off guard, too. I was just walking down the hallway and she just tells me "Good morning, N..." out of the blue. Don't even have anything to do with her for her to even accost me like that at all. I felt that had I gone to HR, no one would have believed me because I'm new in the place, she's the manager of the actuarial department and she has a fairly ethnically diverse team working under her. It would have looked like I have problems with everyone in there and I still have to find a way to deal effectively with my own work situation all the while looking credible. So I just decided to focus on what would harm me the most...
 
As far as your situation goes, it's good that your coworkers hate her even more and are willing to vouch for you. You guys can come up with a concerted plan to push her out. Bullies often crumble when faced with a collective onslaught


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 12:04pm
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Miss SDY View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:51am
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:


Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.

I myself am keeping my eyes open for a new opportunity (no luck so far). But this is the second time in a row that I'm confronted with this and it seens that Human resources was not created to defend the employees but management. And my manager is scared sh*tless of her, as she has somewhat managed to get the previous team fired by mounting a case (don't know how the hell she managed that feat, but she did). Now she deems herself invincible. She insults EVERYBODY in the team on a regular basis and will have you believe that only her work is valid and nobody elses. Complaints have been filed against her by other colleagues to no avail. To complicate things further, the manager is not capable of assessing the quality of the work of those that are under her authority and therefore depends on her to do it! This is mind-bogling to me. I'm reading this book called "The bully at work" and this bish fits the profile to a T!



You just wrote my story almost to a T. This is my second rodeo with a very toxic work environment. I work with this lady on second shift. She starts out as nice. Everyone warned me without warning me about hoe this lady is. Gradually, as I became familiar with the procedures, she started doing less and less and I start doing more and more work. It is to the point to where she is not pulling any weight at all and she makes up fake reasons as to why she can't do this and that. She thinks she's perfect and she has more mistakes than our whole department put together.

I started noticing how fake she is. She grins and kee-kee's in everyone's face and then talks so much sh*t behind their backs. Our direct supervisor let's her do these things because he says she knows a lot about our department. Plus she's cool with our region manager. Once I started noticing these things, and discussing them, my co-workers begin to talk more about her and they wanted me to see for myself vs telling me when I was relatively new. 4 people that worked my same shift with her have quit because of not getting along with this woman and that this woman is lazy. This lady had also went to HR on a few people. But its really hard to get fired from our company so..

But I have not been looking hard for a job just yet because of the holidays but I am about to get to searching hard soon. I'm to the point where I'm boiling over and I've been kind of rude and nasty to her. It's not full fledged like it can be but she knows I hate her now. She's been talking cash money sh*t about me to other co-workers and its out of control now. This woman is 55 years old. She can't take what she dishes out and is known to cry when people go left on her and get in her ass.
 
Jeezus, they all use the EXACT SAME STRATEGIES! It's like they have the manipulator's handbook or something! You are going through the exact same thing as I am. The only thing I can tell you is to not be outright rude and nasty to her, but do feel free to take subtle shots. If you're outright rude to her, she'll start crying her white woman tears and paint YOU as the antisocial type. Write down every egregious incident, with dates and details. If possible, enlist the help of other people who also feel slighted to try and see if they can back up your statements (a lot of people won't want to put themselves out there like that but it's worth a try.
 
Other than that, I don't know what else to tell you because I'm in the same predicament and it's hard. Even the book I'm reading is a little bit pessimistic about the outcomes in this type of situation (The advice I just gave you comes from this book) and they tell you to keep your eyes open for a new job at the same time. I just feel like the universe is trying to tell me something and that if I don't somehow manage to get a handle on this, I'll just move on to another job in the same situation again. I even got called the N-word by one of her manager friends and allies when no one was around, 2 weeks ago. I didn't report that because I knew no one would believe me. I might have made a mistake on that one, I don't know...


I think you should have reported her because that is beyond crossing the line. That's disrespectful.

As for the bolded 'white woman tears', this lady I'm dealing with is black. She says her dad is a French Indian though.. but whatever. I've been told that she hates black people and discouraged her children from procreating with black men... I have two co-workers that will go to bat for me because they loathe this woman more than I do.. Im already 'antisocial' according to her bc I never talk to her and whenever she does say something to me, I look at her like she has two heads or something.. She asks everyone if I ever talk with them...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:39am
I've had this situation before, and in theory it did not work out well for me. She abused her 'power' and pretty much got me fired. God don't like ugly though, and it was a great blessing in disguise.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:14am
Originally posted by Organic Organic wrote:

There was a lady like this at my old job. They called her the Wicked Witch of the West. Apparently, lots of people were fired under her, and no one was ever promoted. She would always come to my office and try to make 'small talk', but something about her really turned me off, so I stayed faaaar away. I'm glad I did.

Good luck, JP. A  hostile work environment is no fun. I remember being outside my building having a panic attack at 7am because I didn't want to face my supervisor. This was before I 'grew balls' and learned to stand up for myself and not feel guilty in doing so.

I really hope things work out for you. We spend too much time at work to be miserable.
 
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Organic. I try to stay the fucc away from her as much as I can and I don't hide my disdain either. Problem is, there are times when I am forced to deal with her when she's put in a position to "critique" my work. I had no problem telling everything I needed to say to her face at the meeting. The problem is I don't quite know how to handle my manager's apathy without getting in her crosshairs


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 11:15am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:55am
There was a lady like this at my old job. They called her the Wicked Witch of the West. Apparently, lots of people were fired under her, and no one was ever promoted. She would always come to my office and try to make 'small talk', but something about her really turned me off, so I stayed faaaar away. I'm glad I did.

Good luck, JP. A  hostile work environment is no fun. I remember being outside my building having a panic attack at 7am because I didn't want to face my supervisor. This was before I 'grew balls' and learned to stand up for myself and not feel guilty in doing so.

I really hope things work out for you. We spend too much time at work to be miserable.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:45am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Being very well liked is not a reason for you to let her mess with your money... Separate your personal feelings about her from your professional standing in the company & your job.  

You are the second person to tell me that. So I guess I’m gonna have to get over my personal feelings about her. I’m just worried that if I confront the manager directly, I will lose however little support I have with her and antagonize her. But I hear what you’re saying


It's not right for you to have to deal with that at work because everyone likes her. How would the directors feel about losing profits because your work is being suffocated and therefore you are not making enough of a contribution to the organisation as you ought to be? I am sure if you find the correct person to talk money and value with them when your team is working at 100% productivity in comparison to the stifled current situation they would be very interested. 

So who exactly handles your work if your manager and the other lady do not even have a clue on what you are doing. That person would be the correct person to speak to I'm sure.  
 
That's the problem right there! Since the manager is incapable of evaluating my work, she leaves it to that bish to do it because she figures she's been working for the company the longest. Except that she actually keeps introducing mistakes into my work with her reviews! And when I bring it to my boss' attention, she either tries to downplay it or sides with her because she doesn't know didley. I've been doing this for over 11 years and she's been doing this for 4. She even tells another colleague with 20 years of experience that "she'll get better at it eventually, with her counsel"! She comes off as competent when what she needs to go is go back to school and get a degree. But she knows how to present things in a convincing way and she's a master networker
 


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 10:53am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:44am
what does your bullying and harassment policy say?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:33am
Being very well liked is not a reason for you to let her mess with your money... Separate your personal feelings about her from your professional standing in the company & your job. 

It's not right for you to have to deal with that at work because everyone likes her. How would the directors feel about losing profits because your work is being suffocated and therefore you are not making enough of a contribution to the organisation as you ought to be? I am sure if you find the correct person to talk money and value with them when your team is working at 100% productivity in comparison to the stifled current situation they would be very interested. 

So who exactly handles your work if your manager and the other lady do not even have a clue on what you are doing. That person would be the correct person to speak to I'm sure.  
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:16am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Also, can you explain is some detail what she does & how you have handled it so far please? 
 
- I have had numerous conversations with my manager to explain her disruptive influence on myself and the team (to which she replied that I was right and to keep up standing up to her!)
 
-She is oftentimes given the task to review my work and she has negative feedback everytime, even though it is unsubtantiated (she has less experience than me and is not even formally trained in my line of work, yet she evaluates other people!). Problem is, I  cannot counter her claims with my manager because my manager knows nothing about my work, she only makes sure that tasks are assigned and followed through, but she has no way of judging quality control. She pretty much admitted to this herself.
 
- She criticizes everybody else behind their backs too. I called a meeting the other day and my manager set it up with her and another dude who is her only ally in the team. I pretty much exposed all her tactics. The other colleague took her side as I expected him too. And the manager called in the meeting to discuss "my work methods" instead of the actual problem at end (even though in private, she tells me I do a good job)
 
I forgot to mention that the manipulator is at the same level as I am. She is not a higher up in any way. But she is given review tasks that are beyond her


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Nov 25 2012 at 10:24am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:09am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

I agree with sbrownie. From now on whenever you put it a complaint record EVERYTHING. 

Even when you speak to her, or if it is at all possible have one of your colleagues that had complained as well as a witness or to record everything. 

& people take bullying very serious so do use the words in your complaint. Even if you have to say it is stressing you out to the point of having to take anti-depressants & with a doctor's note to back it up lol. 

Exaggerate if you have to!! Or they will keep brushing you aside. Then if nothing happens after all of this collect your material together, and approach her again and say you have done everything you could and now you are considering going to someone higher to lodge a complaint. At least she will know that you do not want it to come to that and you are giving her a chance to rectify the situation & any unfair dismissal/suspension of you will be duly noted in your complaint as you have done nothing wrong.  
 
Thanks for the advice. I am planning to see my doctor next week to talk to her about the stress of the harassment, to have some medical backup (and because I need some advice!) I'm leery of using the psychologists provided throught the company plan, their allegiance is usually to their employer. I am a bit leery of lodging a complaint higher up, though. This manager is very well liked (and I can see why, she's a very kind woman in many ways, except she's not handling her business!) But I will get serious on the documenting. This chick knows the handbook by heart because she managed to get rid of an entire team before I even got on board. One of the first things she said to me when I started working there is that there was a girl on contract before me who had a "bad attitude" and kept "slamming drawers and behaving crazy". It's almost like she was warning me of her "clout" and reveling in it. What I need to do is keep my emotions in check and become ultra-strategic
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