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Womens, how hard is it NOT to have kids?!?!

 
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afrokock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 2:22am
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by lanae lanae wrote:

I'm 24, childless and keep getting approached by divorced fathers. idk what it is. Ppl w/ kids should date each other bc they have much more in common *shrugs*
 
 

 

but most don't want to date another person with kids.  why?  cause they want that other person to put their child first.LOL 

 

this is true

a few things ive read here that amaze me

wont deal with a guy with kids coz you wont be number

wont deal with a guy with kids coz he might be shagging his baby momma

wont deal with a kids whilst they themselves have a child because they wont be number one

wont deal with a guy with kids whilst they themselves have a kid because the guy with said kid might be shagging his babymomma .. but wait what??! doesnt that also mean.. (fill in ,no pun, the blanks)

the list is endless
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newdiva1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 2:23am
^^^^@model.  I think the message got twisted over time.  My gramma used to say she didn't need a man but that didn't mean that she didn't want one.  She did what she had to do to take care of her babies while she was single. I think AA women back in the day were taught to be self sufficient in case of your man gettin' lynched, sent off to war along with the off chance of divorce.
 
Back in the day....to be self sufficient not only as a matter of personal pride in being able to take care of yourself but just in case.....just in case.
 
I think around the late 60's it morphed into you don't need a man period ....that's what alot of women started teaching their girls (for various reasons).   They would give their girl children only half of the African American Proverb.


Edited by newdiva1 - Feb 05 2013 at 2:26am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 2:25am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by lanae lanae wrote:

I'm 24, childless and keep getting approached by divorced fathers. idk what it is. Ppl w/ kids should date each other bc they have much more in common *shrugs*
 
 

 

but most don't want to date another person with kids.  why?  cause they want that other person to put their child first.LOL 

 

this is true

a few things ive read here that amaze me

wont deal with a guy with kids coz you wont be number

wont deal with a guy with kids coz he might be shagging his baby momma

wont deal with a kids whilst they themselves have a child because they wont be number one

wont deal with a guy with kids whilst they themselves have a kid because the guy with said kid might be shagging his babymomma .. but wait what??! doesnt that also mean.. (fill in ,no pun, the blanks)

the list is endless
 
 
 
 
and u being a babymomma must be gettin' shagged by your ex if this is your thinking process. 
 
LOLIt's a funny thing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 2:28am
and my personal favourite,

only a real man can deal with a woman who has a child

whaaat?

does that mean only a real woman can deal with a man with a child??

y'all got that fuccked up mentality thing going on.
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newdiva1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 2:46am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

and my personal favourite,

only a real man can deal with a woman who has a child

whaaat?

does that mean only a real woman can deal with a man with a child??

y'all got that fuccked up mentality thing going on.
 
 
 
 
sometimes all folks got are shaming tactics. *shrugs* that's the line i've heard low caliber women try to use when dudes who have worked hard to get their sh*t together won't mess with them.  Usually moms/dads who are about their kids and their business don't have to resort to those kinds of lines.
 
no shade to any of the single moms/dads here and i'm sure ya'll give no fuccs because ya'll sh*t is righteous and crisp but i've heard some doosey's out in these Metropolitan streets.
 
 
Disclaimer:
*NewD's definition of low caliber for this thread = women/men who are not about sh*t period....not because they have a child.


Edited by newdiva1 - Feb 05 2013 at 2:47am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 3:04am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Kocoa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 5:03am
Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:

Originally posted by Kocoa Kocoa wrote:

30 and childless checking in.

The only thing I could say about this (and I'll tell e'erbody) is:

There's no way I'm having kids on my own. I am not a strong woman, I cannot take the struggle.


And honestly, there's no shame in saying this and I wholeheartedly agree. Short of some crazy scenario happening (divorce, widowed, etc), I have no desire to CHOOSE to raise a child solo.

I get tired of BW having the mantra shoved down our throats that we're supposed to ALWAYS be stronger than the rock of Gibraltar and ready to take on every trial and tribulation that life has to give us entirely solo - in other words "I don't need a man". Although it can be done, it's not ideal to be a single parent. It took more than one person to make the baby, it takes more than one to raise a baby.



That's down to the point for me. I've seen too many women having to chase men down trying to get them to hold down their baby while she working 2 jobs or the late shift. That ish does not even remotely look fun.


Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

^^^^@model.  I think the message got twisted over time.  My gramma used to say she didn't need a man but that didn't mean that she didn't want one.  She did what she had to do to take care of her babies while she was single. I think AA women back in the day were taught to be self sufficient in case of your man gettin' lynched, sent off to war along with the off chance of divorce.
 
Back in the day....to be self sufficient not only as a matter of personal pride in being able to take care of yourself but just in case.....just in case.
 
I think around the late 60's it morphed into you don't need a man period ....that's what alot of women started teaching their girls (for various reasons).   They would give their girl children only half of the African American Proverb.


^do you know that thought never even remotely entered my head at all? I really thought that mantra primarily came about by feminism/womanism.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Naturalchick30 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 5:50am
Originally posted by Kocoa Kocoa wrote:

30 and childless checking in.

The only thing I could say about this (and I'll tell e'erbody) is:

There's no way I'm having kids on my own. I am not a strong woman, I cannot take the struggle.
 
 
This
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newdiva1 View Drop Down
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@ Kocoa....my gramma is from Miss'sippi.  U still have lynchings that go on today but back when she was coming up.  It was an everyday real fear. U weren't sure if pop pop/husband/brother or whoever else would come home that day when they went to town.  Miss'sippi wasn't....prolly still ain't no joke.  My gramma picked up and went north as soon as she could. 
 
 
 
IMO....the wrong mantra came about with that whole feminism thing.


Edited by newdiva1 - Feb 05 2013 at 5:54am
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Lady ICE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 05 2013 at 7:08am
Originally posted by Naturalchick30 Naturalchick30 wrote:

Originally posted by Kocoa Kocoa wrote:

30 and childless checking in.

The only thing I could say about this (and I'll tell e'erbody) is:

There's no way I'm having kids on my own. I am not a strong woman, I cannot take the struggle.
 
 
This
whatever..you need to get started.SleepySmilei'll be expecting the im pregnant news by the end of the year.
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