'Women are better at having affairs.. they cover their tracks': Sexpert TRACEY COX says wives are playing away more than ever

• 1.4m women in relationships will seek out affair online this year
• They use sites Illicit Encounters, Adult Friend Finder and Shagaholic
• Affairs are less about 'emptiness' in marriage and more about sexploration

By Tracey Cox

The first week of January is when affairs are most likely to happen with lots of marriages stretched to the limit over the Christmas break.

Used to be women had affairs if they fell out of love with their husbands and in love with someone else.

These days, a woman can be blissfully happy with her 2.5 children, in love with her husband and reasonably sexually satisfied - and still feel justified having more than a bit on the side

Then it became pseudo-acceptable (between friends and as much as affairs ever are accepted), to have If-only-I-hadn't-drunk-so-much-or-I'd-never-have-done-it one-night-slip-ups, if you weren't getting any at home.

Illicitencounters.com - the UK's largest and longest running dating site for married people - has 750,000 members. A high proportion are women. Other sites like Adult Friend Finder and Shagaholic are also boasting soaring female memberships.

There's been a massive shift in women's attitudes towards affairs. Some of it is the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' effect: women feel they've been given permission to push boundaries and try things they wouldn't dare to before. If their husbands don't want to, they'll go elsewhere.

The guilt most feel doing this is minimal: 'I deserve it.' 'It makes me feel alive.' 'I'm a great wife and mother, this is for me'. 'He'll never find out - who am I hurting?' 'Why give up something which gives me intense pleasure?'

Women are better at having affairs, says Tracey Cox, pictured

Affairs are becoming less about filling an 'emptiness' in the marriage and more about sexploration. A case of wanting the cake and eating it too.

It's about having the basics (long-term security) as well as the trimmings (exciting bits). .

But here's the irony: turns out women aren't just playing men at their own game of cheating, they're better at it. Women are better at keeping secrets and covering their tracks, so less likely to be discovered.

The old perception about affairs was that women didn't have as many as men because they're in control of themselves sexually and men aren't.

The uncomfortable truth is, given half the chance, women cheat as much as men do. The difference now is we've got just as many opportunities as he had.