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Why do I feel so bad?

 
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Bribby View Drop Down
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    Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 10:15am
Bd and I broke up for fairly good reasons (abuse, drinking, dependency on me)
Now we have separated, we have to set up times for him to have our daughter
He says he still wants to be together but I know the relationship is no good
I love him but lately I hadn't felt like being "with" him like the in love wasn't there
I need to find my self and be out on my own for a while. 
I feel so terrible for this, for being friends with other guys after so long of having no guy friends
and idk I just feel guilty like I'm not doing what is right for my daughter :(

I really try hard for her  but I feel like as I'm letting her down

Especially since I haven't been able to be with her as I please due to increased work hours but today is the last day and me starting university.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 6:43pm
All I had to do was read your first line of text ...  'I broke up for fairly good reasons (abuse, drinking, dependency on me)' to know...
 
THIS IS THE REASON you shouldn't feel guilty about being with other men.
 
If he is your daughter's father - okay, she has the right to have a relationship with him - but this has nothing to do with you. If he shows his a** or is in some way abusive with her - haul his tail into court.
 
But if he us just a loser/drunk or whatever.. allow your child to have a relationship with him and allow her to discover for herself ....why you broke it off with him.
 
I think you would model a woman with very poor self esteem if you stayed with an abusive man and your daughter sat there and watched helplessly.Ouch
 
Typically, when girls watch their mothers being abused ...  they end up getting into the same kind of relationship themselves when they grow up.Dead
 
Why would you want to damage your innocent child in this manner?
 
The man is abusive ... move on to a heathly relationship, don't feel guilty and don't look back.Clap
 
(Geesh, I would never have a problem turning my back on such a man.)


Edited by Printer_Ink - Sep 06 2013 at 6:49pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 9:07pm
Focus on YOU and SCHOOL and your BABY. thats it.

the only way you will let her down is when you stop putting those things first and put other people (MEN) and things ahead of whats really important.  

if you feel you need guy friends once in a while, fine. but please don't bring guys around her or end of up with #2 while you are trying to build a future for you and your baby. (and i don't mean that in a rude way...but im sure its hard with one) and you seem to be on a good path.

Congratulations on starting school. The feelings of guilt you have will pass. Hopefully you guys will continue to successfully co-parent.. 

Good Luck!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 4:26am
Focus on your child, work and school...anything else is what it is. The more you do better for you, the more he will try to get back in..Trust that if he is really trying to be a better person and do right by you, he will get himself together and prove to you he is doing better by not trying to game or force his way back in. Learn to have a  friendship with him in order to raise your child together in a healthy environment. Let him have a relationship with his daughter, but if he makes it hard on you then maybe find a place where you can take your daughter and he can pick her up, that way you two don't see one another.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 04 2013 at 9:45am
Don't feel bad. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Just because you two have a daughter together doesn't necessarily mean you have to stay together as a family. As long as he is still there physically and financially that's all that really matters. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NaturalSister543 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 23 2014 at 11:33am
Are you married?
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NaturalSister543 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NaturalSister543 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 23 2014 at 11:34am
Are you married?
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