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Why didn't I realise my perfect man was a sociopat

 
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Limalady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 3:06pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:



But they are all socially functional which is exactly the problem.   They operate from a process where as she stated, they are mimicking the correct behavior and draw people in with disarming accuracy.  I understand what you're saying but the lady in the 1st story is talking about someone at the beginning of that spectrum in that case because  it sounds more like a regular old cheating louse IMO. 
 
I agree that there is a spectrum, but the root of sociopathic behavior is a lack of emotional connection. It sounds like her partner was emotionally connecting with everyone but her. With sociopaths, even when mimicking societal behavior, there are usually instances of very peculiar behavior. Maybe a strange and unprovoked response to a small issue, a lack of emotion to something that should elicit emotion, an inability to gauge or control responses. It is more than criminal behavior. This guy just sounds like he didn't love her. That doesn't make him a sociopath.
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 3:18pm
Yes Lim that's what I think as well.  Mine sure did love me but that actually made the entire situation worse.  I also didn't understand what she said about them only knowing two emotions (happy or sad).  That doesn't make any sense.  Sociopaths are very much capable of love but you neither want nor need that sh*t from them because the price is way too high. 
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Limalady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 3:30pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Yes Lim that's what I think as well.  Mine sure did love me but that actually made the entire situation worse.  I also didn't understand what she said about them only knowing two emotions (happy or sad).  That doesn't make any sense.  Sociopaths are very much capable of love but you neither want nor need that sh*t from them because the price is way too high.  
 
Wow! Your story sounds so interesting. Shocked Damn, what happened? Was he punching holes in the wall one minute and making you dinner the next like nothing happened?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 3:44pm
Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Yes Lim that's what I think as well.  Mine sure did love me but that actually made the entire situation worse.  I also didn't understand what she said about them only knowing two emotions (happy or sad).  That doesn't make any sense.  Sociopaths are very much capable of love but you neither want nor need that sh*t from them because the price is way too high.  
 
Wow! Your story sounds so interesting. Shocked Damn, what happened? Was he punching holes in the wall one minute and making you dinner the next like nothing happened?


He was extremely manipulative and often used our son as a tool to gain my "cooperation".  Threats, lies and yes can't live w/o you one minute, plans to kill the two of us the next, pleading a false case of my doing "evil" things to him to anyone who would listen, setting me up to look like I'm stalking him one minute and breaking his heart and not giving him a chance the next.  Claiming he didn't want to be with me and pretending I wouldn't leave him alone while threatening to call my boss and get me fired if I didn't come see him.  He had other women he was able to manipulate to call me at work and say crazy stuff to me and pretend he didn't know what I was talking about but they would be calling me about whatever the current thing was that he was mad about.  Like who does thatLOL.  It was just always a mess.    

ETA:  To this day he tells everyone who will listen that we had a 'wonderful' relationship and he will always love meStern Smile


Edited by kfoxx1998 - Jul 28 2013 at 3:45pm
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Limalady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 3:52pm
 
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:



He was extremely manipulative and often used our son as a tool to gain my "cooperation".  Threats, lies and yes can't live w/o you one minute, plans to kill the two of us the next, pleading a false case of my doing "evil" things to him to anyone who would listen, setting me up to look like I'm stalking him one minute and breaking his heart and not giving him a chance the next.  Claiming he didn't want to be with me and pretending I wouldn't leave him alone while threatening to call my boss and get me fired if I didn't come see him.  He had other women he was able to manipulate to call me at work and say crazy stuff to me and pretend he didn't know what I was talking about but they would be calling me about whatever the current thing was that he was mad about.  Like who does thatLOL.  It was just always a mess.     

ETA:  To this day he tells everyone who will listen that we had a 'wonderful' relationship and he will always love meStern Smile

Whoa!!!!! He was Wacko. Now that sh!t should have been in the first article.
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 4:29pm
Sociopaths almost tend to have every emotion at the extreme they just cannot / do not consider anyone else's emotions valid.  They don't really connect with any one emotion and no way that thing about them only having two emotions is true.  They feel emotions they just can't wrap their mind around the concept that anyone else's emotions matter.  Even those they claim to love.   Their emotions are the only ones that exist and are more important than anything on the face of the planet.  They are easily hurt / offended and often lash out over the slightest slight.  

ETA:  They also hold stadium size grudges, people need to avoid them that's all I know. 


Edited by kfoxx1998 - Jul 28 2013 at 4:32pm
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Limalady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 4:31pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Sociopaths almost tend to have every emotion at the extreme they just cannot / do not consider anyone else's emotions valid.  They don't really connect with any one emotion and no way that thing about them only having two emotions is true.  They feel emotions they just can't wrap their mind around the concept that anyone else's emotions matter.  Even those the claim to love.   Their emotions are the only ones that exist and are more important than anything on the face of the planet.  They are easily hurt / offended and often lash out over the slightest slight.  

Did your ex see a professional?
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 4:34pm
LOLHell no.  There is nothing wrong with sociopaths.  Its everyone else who has a problemDead
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 4:35pm
I think a professional could help him more effectively deal with his emotions. Yeah, no one ever wants help.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 4:47pm
Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

Daily Mail articles are so terribly written. It doesn't sound like he was a sociopath. It sounds like he was a cheater. I still don't understand what made him a sociopath. Yeah, sometimes he didn't display emotion. Maybe he was just cold. She thinks he pretended to display emotion for 10 years? Ok.
 
Yeah, he just sounded like a jerk.
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