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Why didn't I realise my perfect man was a sociopat

 
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Limalady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 12:43am
Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:


Way back in 1996, when they were first dating, she watched him break her brother’s nose and break both legs of another brother. And she listened as he confessed to killing a man–a homeless man in the last stages of AIDS whom his parents had taken in to care for–just because he felt like it.

Throughout those years, this is how Bernadette Sugrim helped her husband become a better man: She let him try to pin the blame for the 1996 murder on his father, whom they both disliked. She watched him beat his foster mother into unconsciousness after the foster mother kicked the young couple out of her house, and then stepped over the woman and complained because she was going into labor with their first child and they had nowhere to live. She looked up at the police information photo of the murdered prostitute while applying for a handgun permit so her husband could elude gun-control laws, knowing she was aiding in arming a double murderer. She stood by while he regularly beat their children bloody with a whip. She concealed her husband’s status as an illegal alien, because if he were deported what would happen to her?She wrote a letter to her best friend to be opened in the event of her own death, suggesting that if there was suspicion of foul play the police should look at Besham for her murder (but making no mention of his other crimes). When asked how she was able to justify all this, Bernadette said, “I learned not to let it eat away at me. I put it out of my mind. I couldn’t survive if I thought about it all the time.”

She abused her children more viciously than their father did. She as much as murdered the young woman Besham battered to death in 2003, by not immediately reporting the 1996 murder. But of course those two victims–an old man dying of AIDS, a drug-addicted hooker–weren’t really people. They weren’t worthy of love or saving. They weren’t worth letting it eat away at Bernadette, who now sits on Matt Lauer’s couch and talks about how great it is to finally live stress-free and enjoy herself.

If it weren’t for Bernadette Sugrim’s 11-year-old daughter, though, who knows how many more disposable victims this “love” would have claimed? The problem is, I don’t think the daughter escaped far enough. She’s still with Bernadette, who wants her and her brother to have good memories of their father. When Matt Lauer asked the girl this morning what was going through her mind when she ran to the neighbor’s house, she licked her glossed lips and stammered. “I don’t really remember,” she finally said. “It was really just a fast blur.” It’s not likely to get less confusing, as Bernadette now thinks her daughter’s testifying against her father in court was “good practice” in overcoming stage fright for the singing career she has planned. The girl has already written a song about her father’s crimes.

 
Now that is a sociopath. Someone with no regard for anyone. That dude beat up his foster mother, and stepped over her and complained as she went into labor.
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miana79 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miana79 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 1:18am
I honestly don't think the man in the article is a real sociopath...He just seems like a smooth cheater and a coward  to me.  She is being over the top with this one! Most cheaters don't consider your feelings anyhow.

Edited by miana79 - Jul 28 2013 at 1:21am
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Fraiche2Death View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Fraiche2Death Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 2:40am
First story? No. I know a real sociopath. He's sitting in jail right now. She just needs another name for him besides cheater so it burns a little less. Second story...that b*tch is filth. Pure filth.
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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 9:21am
Reminds me of the movie Who is Clark Rockefeller. The white chick was so pumped she snagged a "Rockefeller" she ignored the red flags, one being that no one showed up from his side of the family for the wedding because he said he didn't want to take the attention away from her. HAHAHA He was living off of her and when she kept asking for him to get some money from his family he would say it was tied up or he had to wait or whatever, meanwhile he was spending her money and living this lavish lifestyle on her. She should have kept her story to herself. She wasn't a victim, she was just stupid. I understand there are a lot of men who can be conniving, but I think a lot of women want the whole Prince Charming so badly that they just really focus on the wrong things...shame on her. She should have known better. I agree, dude wasn't a sociopath, he was just a user and a cheater.....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 12:23pm
SMH @ both of those articles and the women.  The top characteristic of sociopaths IMO is that they are dangerous and often to far more damage in a persons life than just hurting feelings.  FOH.  She better be glad she wasn't married to a real sociopath.  We have all met at least one or we are one.   She is reaching but she's not wrong that there are quite a few of them walking around in our circle of friends and family.  Its those people who seem to have few lines that they won't cross to get what they want.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 12:36pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

SMH @ both of those articles and the women.  The top characteristic of sociopaths IMO is that they are dangerous and often to far more damage in a persons life than just hurting feelings.  FOH.  She better be glad she wasn't married to a real sociopath.  We have all met at least one or we are one.   She is reaching but she's not wrong that there are quite a few of them walking around in our circle of friends and family.  Its those people who seem to have few lines that they won't cross to get what they want.
 
I disagree with this (not just your comment but every comment in this thread, actually). There are different levels of sociopathic behaviour. People tend to think it has to be a Hannibal Lecter type of situation. There are sociopaths who never engage in actual criminal behaviour. But the devastation they leave behind is just the same. If you have met one of those, I guess this is how you know, because they fucc with your mind in a way that you could have never imagined prior to meeting such a person. Not sure about the woman in this specific article (I didn't read the 2nd one) but there are socially functional sociopaths out there.


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Jul 28 2013 at 12:38pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AwesomeAries Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 12:41pm
I dated a sociopath before
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 12:43pm
^^So have I. It's the kind of shyt you can't understand until you're confronted with it. It's the mind fucc of the century. I guess at the end of the day, the common thread is that they feel nothing. They don't understand the meaning of empathy and they think of themselves as grandiose. Sometimes that ultra confident dude with ultra swag that every woman looks for can be poison wrapped in bubble gum.

Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Jul 28 2013 at 12:46pm
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 2:57pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

SMH @ both of those articles and the women.  The top characteristic of sociopaths IMO is that they are dangerous and often to far more damage in a persons life than just hurting feelings.  FOH.  She better be glad she wasn't married to a real sociopath.  We have all met at least one or we are one.   She is reaching but she's not wrong that there are quite a few of them walking around in our circle of friends and family.  Its those people who seem to have few lines that they won't cross to get what they want.
 
I disagree with this (not just your comment but every comment in this thread, actually). There are different levels of sociopathic behaviour. People tend to think it has to be a Hannibal Lecter type of situation. There are sociopaths who never engage in actual criminal behaviour. But the devastation they leave behind is just the same. If you have met one of those, I guess this is how you know, because they fucc with your mind in a way that you could have never imagined prior to meeting such a person. Not sure about the woman in this specific article (I didn't read the 2nd one) but there are socially functional sociopaths out there.


But they are all socially functional which is exactly the problem.   They operate from a process where as she stated, they are mimicking the correct behavior and draw people in with disarming accuracy.  I understand what you're saying but the lady in the 1st story is talking about someone at the beginning of that spectrum in that case because  it sounds more like a regular old cheating louse IMO. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2013 at 3:04pm
Awesome and JP I not only dated one but had the grave misfortune to be the mother of our first child.  I was too young to know and the damage was not just to me but obviously to our child as well.  My son is never going to trust anybody in the world because of all the mind-fcks he has to endure on a regular basis from his dad.  He literally has to take 1-5 yr breaks from even talking to him just to keep it together.  I hate living any part of my life in hindsight but being inseminated by that man is my only life regret and that's awful because I adore my son.   
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