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When do you cut someone off financially?

 
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ThoughtCouture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:53am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


that's like when people ask for money to pay a bill and never pay said bill......you can't trust them after that
 
to me that is not a gift...they are claiming to NEED help...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:54am

so would he be giving the house as a gift or is he buying it b/c she needs a house
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:01pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

well, i was giving him a gift for his bday anyway...i had asked him what he wanted before hand.
 
so, if you give someone a wedding gift from their registry and they exchange it for something else...you gonna be mad?
 
now if he had asked me for a lap top specifically to help him for school...i would probably feel some kind of way, if he took the money and got something else....


no

I always give gifts with gift receipts


I agree with the bold
 
Confused  then what is the difference.  gift receipts give the option to get something else.
 
i gave my cousin a bday gift of cash.  sure he said he wanted a tablet...but if he had changed his mind because the he found he didn't like it afte he played with it in the store or did further research or for whatever reason...why would i think he lied or be mad if he got something else...
 
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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:03pm

I think we are on the same page TC

I don't care what people do with the gifts I give them either

if I am helping you pay a bill or purchase an item, you need to pay the bill or buy that item
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:04pm
If I'm gifting someone a home, guess what? I'm letting you know what I'm gifting. The home, not the furniture and everything else for the home. Unless I was planning to furnish the home too, which...by the way...is entirely up to me to decide.

That's my whole point. No one is manipulating me into doing anything for them, just because we're related.

A gift is not a never ending thing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:05pm

my POV is tied to how I treat money that is given to me

if I say I want/need x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

if you offer to give me x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

I have never taken money for one thing and did something else with it
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ThoughtCouture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:09pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


so would he be giving the house as a gift or is he buying it b/c she needs a house
 
well it depends, imo...but that's what sunshine and her hubby would need to determine.
 
sounds like she is perfectly happy to stay in her trailer...which is where she would be, if it were me and i didn't want to "give" her a house...  but if i wanted to give it to her, and i had it like that,  i wouldn't care about all that other stuff...
 
if my goal was to help her, and i had it like that and i thought she was shaky...then i would feel the need to put some safegaurds in place to protect her.
 
if my goal was to help her, and i DIDN'T have it like that and i thought she was shaky...then i would feel the need to put some safegaurds in place to protect her AND myself....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:15pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


my POV is tied to how I treat money that is given to me

if I say I want/need x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

if you offer to give me x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

I have never taken money for one thing and did something else with it
 
 
well...in this case, the only reason why i asked him before hand is because i planned to get whatever gift he said and wrap it up and give it to him.  time just got away from me, so i ended up giving him a cash equiv instead.  me asking, had absolutely zero to do with holding his feet to the fire for expressing what he thought he might want for his bday which i intended to give a gift for regardless.  if he had said...i don't really know...he probably STILL would have gotten a cash gift of a similar amount anyway, which is why i could have cared less what he did with it...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:16pm
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

If I'm gifting someone a home, guess what? I'm letting you know what I'm gifting. The home, not the furniture and everything else for the home. Unless I was planning to furnish the home too, which...by the way...is entirely up to me to decide.

That's my whole point. No one is manipulating me into doing anything for them, just because we're related.

A gift is not a never ending thing.
 
i totally agree...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote iGotSunshine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:19pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

If I'm gifting someone a home, guess what? I'm letting you know what I'm gifting. The home, not the furniture and everything else for the home. Unless I was planning to furnish the home too, which...by the way...is entirely up to me to decide.

That's my whole point. No one is manipulating me into doing anything for them, just because we're related.

A gift is not a never ending thing
.
 
i totally agree...

trueeee 


Samone i dont think she "needs a home" she owns her mobile home 
s/o was going to help her upgrade but now she's doing too much 

i just feel that it's drama waiting to happen so i told him to look at this foreclosed home for 50k and put some walmart furniture in it. sign everything over to her and whatever she does with it, is what she does with it.



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