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what's the most cringey embarrassing thing you've

 
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 6:33am
Originally posted by Nijjah25 Nijjah25 wrote:

LMAO !!! @ SEDUCKY


MR. Clean tho Cry LOL




LMAOOOO!! This thread slays!!
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 6:59am
I GOTTA QUOTE ALABAMAKINKS!!

Quote AlabamaKinks Jul 07 2007 at 10:58pm
Warning!!!!!

There is about to be alot of TMI in this post.
***************************************************

I started Alli on Friday morning.
I haven't had time to hit the grocery store so I just ate what I had in my house.....which was non Alli suggested food (nacho supremes, baked chicken wings, pork steak, beef loin?, fried gizzards). All were extremely high in fat.

I was expecting to have TE (treatment effects; term used in place of side effects). I figured I needed to know anyway so I didn't sweat it.

This morning I experianced TE.
I'm gassy anyway. So I felt a good fart coming and didn't think twice about it. Suddenly my booty felt warm & squishy.... and I started smelling something VERY foul. It smelled like hot sh*t & pork.

I ran to the toilet and out came warm orange grease (just like pizza grease). The warm funk emitting from my azz was awful!   It started to smell more like old dead swine.

I wiped myself up & thank God I had some baby wipes in the bathroom.
I used the baby wipes across my entire perineal area.
When I flushed the toilet the orange pork booty juice stained bowl.


After cleaning out the toilet I washed my hands. I was sure the orange booty juice stains were emiting the faint dead pig smell.
But I was still smelling rotten swine.
I smelled my hands.
Even after washing them they still had the scent of a decaying sow.

If my hands were stank after washing I was sure my booty was stank too.
I washed my hands again and ran a hot bath with Bath & Body Works Spiced Gingerbred. The Gingerbread Man flavored bubble bath filled the bathroom and covered the dead pig smell.


Throughout the day I didn't experiance seepage. When I felt any kind of stomach bubbling (gas, bowel moment, intestine quivering, bloating, growling) I ran directly into the bathroom.

I didn't experiance any incontinence. If I felt bubbling while playing with my son I was able to hold it until I placed him into his baby pen then take my time making it to the bathroom.   As a matter of fact, I'm feeling slight bowel movements but am able to hold it and continue typing.

Until I regulate myself I will also be abstaining from sex.
God forbid a man smells my stanky booty.


Before I came to work. I prepared myself just in case seepage or incontinence happens . My butt checks are holding in place a small double padded cotton wad against my anal opening.

double padded cotton wade: 2 tampons, flattened out, tied at end, placed together in a square*

I also have 2 pads, without wings, in my drawers.
One going up the front and the other up the back.
Because this is the weekend I have on very tight jeans in order to hold all this in place. If I were to wear scrubs, I would have on a pair of tights.

I work in a hospital lab during 3rd shift. So there isn't much going on.
If the need arises I should be able to make it to the bathroom in less than 5 seconds.

All of these procautions are just in case the bus breaks down, I get caught in an elevator, girl fight, kidnapped, hospital bomb threat & I'm taken hostage, alien abduction, ect.

Take heed to this advice playa......




If you are going to try Alli, I suggest you follow the directions.
Don't pig out on fatty foods.
I'm hitting the store first thing in the morning....but I'm not sure if I'm going to continue taking Alli
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (11) Thanks(11)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 7:11am
Ooh man, I think I'll contribute.


So in the 11th grade, I had a Chemistry class and one day, I didn't eat much at school. You know how you can sometimes get so hungry, you get gassy because of the air in your stomach? That was happening to me and I wasn't too happy about that especially because I had a test that day. In my Chem class, there was this FINE ASS guy named Emilio who was my friend and classmate. We'd share notes and joke with each other and damn was he a fine 'tino.

So on this day, I'm feeling mega gassy from not eating and instead of letting it out, I'm trying to "swallow" it back up with my booty. I tried to fart before class, but the gas was too deep, smh. Didn't want to come out yet!

I'm sitting next to fine and sexy Emilio and trying to play it cool during this test and doing all I can not to fart. The gas began to build up in me so much, I had to shift around to be comfortable. I didn't want it to seem weird so I'd pass off my gas as me shifting my chair.

Bad idea. I tell you, I had so much gas in me and was shifting around changing position, the final time I moved my chair, out escaped a "PFFFRT!" I tooted! It was the kind of fart that raises in pitch at the end like your ass is asking a question, smh.

My eyes went wide, my face felt hot with embarrassment! I kept my face forward but saw Emilio in my peripheral vision turn to the side away from me with his hands casually going up to his nose and mouth, smh! ;-;

It wasn't all that bad though, some of the gas escaped so I was feeling much more comfortable in my digestive system. But I was so embarrassed and couldn't face Emilio after that. I ended up moving away like three weeks later.

I'll never forget you, Emilio. ;-;
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ShadyLady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 7:14am
Yeah, Alli was the devil. My friend's roommate had to leave work to go buy new panties cuz Alli gave her oily farts LMAO.

I ate spaghetti with a lot of cheese while I was on it once, and I never disobeyed their suggested foods list again. Seeing your toilet filled with fat and grease will f*ck up your whole appetite.

My friend was getting mayo and all this extra ish added to her sandwich once. I kept telling her Alli said she shouldn't be eating mayo and cheese, but she thought it wouldn't be so bad. Man, before we even made it up the stairs, we saw the oil stain spreading in her gray sweatpants. She quit taking em that day lol.

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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 7:24am
I tried Alli for exactly one day when I was 17. Never again. I took those trick pills and ate a freaking pizza and some soda with my bf at the time and my friend and within 10 minutes they were waiting outside the bathroom listening to me groan and hearing those loud ass bubbly farts.

Alli will turn you into a shït volcano if you're not careful, real talk.
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Nisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Nisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 9:53am
This thread is killing me.
 
This thread should be a book.
 
And why do embarrasing things always happen in front of cute dudes?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote BrownQtee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 10:44am
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

I can't find that thread about RIP Mimi. That was the name of my wig. She was my go to hooker. Until that faithful day in Florida Mimi decides to fly away never to return. Meanwhile I didn't do my hair underneath. All I had was a brush back
 
lmfaoooo. the frederick douglas brush back!!! I REMEMBER!!!!!  LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
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sweet_n_stuff04 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sweet_n_stuff04 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 11:41am
I was in high school at my locker getting my stuff for the next class. I was wearing a weave ponytail and thought I was looking cute; also I had a bottom locker so I had to get on my knees to open it. As I was putting the combo in, one of my friends came by and starting slapping my ponytail. I wasn't paying attention because I was trying to get my locker open, but she did one more smack.....and that ponytail went flying across the hall Angry

It sort of flew mid-air and rolled on the ground like a tumbleweave. To make matters worse, it was during the class change so everyone was in the hallway and I was trying to grow out my haircut so I had that little depressing pony nub Cry.

I just walked down the hall, grabbed my ponytail and stayed in the bathroom for a really long time Cry
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sweet_n_stuff04 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote sweet_n_stuff04 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 11:43am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:



 It was the kind of fart that raises in pitch at the end like your ass is asking a question, smh.



LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL

It was probably asking if it could be excused from class. LOL
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tropical-punch View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tropical-punch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 12:26pm
So, in middle school on the bus, for like a week, whenever Ashanti's "Happy" came on. I would sing at the top of my lungs. Mind you, I cannot sing. I cringed later thinking about it.

I was on a date with my ex and my phony pony fell off. Luckily, it was in the car.

Senior year of HS. I decided to dress up. I wore a thong so I wouldn't have panty lines. It was showing.
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