Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
CoCo Black Hair
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Relationships
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - What would you do?
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Extensions Plus
 

What would you do?

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Premier Lace Wigs

Mynx Hair

Author
4BFabulousity View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 08 2015
Location: CT/NY
Status: Offline
Points: 2740
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 4BFabulousity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: What would you do?
    Posted: Apr 20 2016 at 6:18pm
Okay so here's the scoop, I have been with my bf since 6/22/06 and I currently live with him, his mom, his dad, his brother, his brother's gf and their 7 y.o. son in his mom's house. I have been living here since 4/12/12 after moving out of my drug (dust) addicted cousin's house after one of her stoner friends tried to get some na-na while I was trying to sleep one night. Ever since I have been living here I graduated college (go me!), got my license and saved up $5,700 in a CD account to get a car (which I call car fund) and almost $3,000 for an apartment (which I call apt. fund) I just got my degree in December and I am having a hard time finding work in my field (journalism). I haven't been paying rent for most of the time I have been here because the dad wants me to save up so I can leave quicker.

Fast forward to now and the mom said that I need to start paying something so on April 1st I tried to give her $100 (which is what she asked for) and got mad and told me to keep it and go get apartment with RJ b/c I asked for a receipt. I don't know what the damn deal is w/ that, it's a valid thing to ask for. So then today RJ tells me that HE not his mom or dad wants me to start paying  because otherwise I'd just be mooching. I told his straight up I can't pay anymore than $150 because I only work part time at a fast food place, and he said that's not our problem and I am not their problem. He also loves to say, "You are not related to anyone at the house," "You have a place to live because of me" and "You're time here is short." Today he also admitted that he misses sleeping alone and having his own space.

My mom says that I can come back home but I'd rather not because she lives in a ratchet apartment with no heat or running water. On top of that I can't stand her bf and he's the main reason why I moved out in the first place, he and my mom would charge up my credit card and he once called me a bi*ch. On the day I moved out they said he (my bf) would start beating my ass. Also he had the nerve to tell me to go strip as if me being a stripper would solve all of my problems.

Now, I don't mind paying a little something but I find it depressing that it feels like he wants me to leave more than his mom or dad does. His mom does not say s*it about me having to leave, neither does his dad. I'm not 100 percent sure on what I should do but my plan is continue to live here as long as I can and save up at least $4,000 so I can definitely get my own spot. This is getting ridiculous....

What would you do?
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
sexyandfamous View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 06 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 81481
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 20 2016 at 8:22pm
You have been living rent-free for 4 years and you had the nerve to ask for a receipt?
Your bf may be lying and saying that he is the one upset, but it might be his parents. Or all of them. Maybe the love is gone. Do you think he still loves you?

If I were you, I would find a full-time job, pay them the rent they are asking, and gtfo when an affordable apartment is available. Having money in the bank is not enough because landlords need proof of income. You need to start building your credit as well.
Back to Top
Faithfully2002 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 10 2004
Location: Tennessee
Status: Offline
Points: 28102
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Faithfully2002 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 20 2016 at 9:29pm
You should move out as soon as you can. There's nothing like your own...

Edited by Faithfully2002 - Apr 20 2016 at 9:33pm
Back to Top
4BFabulousity View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 08 2015
Location: CT/NY
Status: Offline
Points: 2740
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 4BFabulousity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 21 2016 at 9:18am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

You have been living rent-free for 4 years and you had the nerve to ask for a receipt?
Your bf may be lying and saying that he is the one upset, but it might be his parents. Or all of them. Maybe the love is gone. Do you think he still loves you?

If I were you, I would find a full-time job, pay them the rent they are asking, and gtfo when an affordable apartment is available. Having money in the bank is not enough because landlords need proof of income. You need to start building your credit as well.


I now know to not ask for a receipt ever again. I do feel like the love is still there a lil bit but it's not as strong as it used to be. Also you may be right about him lying because whenever his mom is frustrated by something I am doing she tells him to tell me. She hardly ever speaks to me so I really don't know what is in her head. As far as my relationship goes I feel like he cares for me but he already has said he does not want to get a place with me and wants me to keeps saving for my own place. As soon as I get a full time job I'm out. On top of that when it comes to my job search he acts like a complete douche saying things like, you need to look every day and one person you graduated with got a job. Also he tells me to even look for jobs out of state. I feel like once I do get a place things between him and I will probably go down the drain.
Back to Top
4BFabulousity View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 08 2015
Location: CT/NY
Status: Offline
Points: 2740
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 4BFabulousity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 21 2016 at 9:57am
Originally posted by Faithfully2002 Faithfully2002 wrote:

You should move out as soon as you can. There's nothing like your own...


This what I'm trying to do now. But it's hard because I have not found full time work yet. It doesn't help that CT is so expensive.
Back to Top
sexyandfamous View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 06 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 81481
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 21 2016 at 5:14pm
lmao there's no love, sweetheart. a man who wants you would not coach you into looking for a job in another state.

i'm sorry, but it is best for all parties involved if you move out. you don't want them to one day snap and put your stuff outside.


Back to Top
4BFabulousity View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 08 2015
Location: CT/NY
Status: Offline
Points: 2740
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote 4BFabulousity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 21 2016 at 7:22pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

lmao there's no love, sweetheart. a man who wants you would not coach you into looking for a job in another state.

i'm sorry, but it is best for all parties involved if you move out. you don't want them to one day snap and put your stuff outside.



There's no love...I have been feeling that way since last year when
he came to one of my therapy sessions my therapist asked him do you see a future? And he said, I'm waiting for her to graduate to just...and he didn't finish the sentence. But he went on to say I'm a nice person and he doesn't have a reason to break up with me. I really wish I had a mom that was better off, I would move back in.
Back to Top
PayMeek No-Mind View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 24 2016
Location: Boston
Status: Offline
Points: 138
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote PayMeek No-Mind Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 26 2016 at 4:07pm
I've been in this very same situation when I was younger, to make a long story short you have outworn your welcome. Do your best to find a place you can afford. Being there isn't going to get you nowhere quick and during your time there you should've been at least applying for some sort of low income housing on the bases that you are technically homeless. Don't ever get too comfortable living off of anyone if its not your own parents and even they do not have to deal with you. You have to be more independent and not feel that you are obligated to received help with your struggle and you must remember you are all you got.
Back to Top
4BFabulousity View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 08 2015
Location: CT/NY
Status: Offline
Points: 2740
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 4BFabulousity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2016 at 2:59pm
Originally posted by PayMeek No-Mind PayMeek No-Mind wrote:

I've been in this very same situation when I was younger, to make a long story short you have outworn your welcome. Do your best to find a place you can afford. Being there isn't going to get you nowhere quick and during your time there you should've been at least applying for some sort of low income housing on the bases that you are technically homeless. Don't ever get too comfortable living off of anyone if its not your own parents and even they do not have to deal with you. You have to be more independent and not feel that you are obligated to received help with your struggle and you must remember you are all you got.


I did do that, and for some reason I wasn't put on the list. I am about to try again in a different location. And trust me I know very well that my own mom and pop don't have to deal with me. My dad abandoned me and my mom put a man over me, that's why I don't live with her. I'm trying to be independent as I can but without a full time job it's hard. Also my bf mentioned transferring to his job's other location in Florida when I asked him what part of FL he said, "what does that matter?" Cry
Back to Top
Pebbles2511 View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 13 2016
Location: nyc
Status: Offline
Points: 484
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Pebbles2511 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 27 2016 at 3:29pm
Honestly it sounds you are full of excuses. Dont blame your Parents. We all know it hard. My niece mom (my sister) died at the tender age of 36 my niece was still in High school. She never really had a dad. Now she is wealthy....she put herself through college by getting gov assistance etc. Her brother on the other hand who was much older and had a job end up homeless after he lost his job....why? because he is lowsy and full of reasons why he cannot get another job.
 
I moved to NYC alone many years ago....put myself through college while I also support my mother back home (paid her bills, bought her food monthly etc).... Alot of us are not born with a gold spoon in our mouth boo. we work hard and keep working hard...do all sorts of jobs...I cleaned house, take care of white people bad ass kids who spit on me etc while i was in college.  You can always find a job but some of you think a certain type of job is beneath you so you rather not do it.
 
I say get out before they throw you out.......believe me thats the next thing they will do. Go hustle.
 
 
 
Back to Top
Sunwell
China Lace Wigs
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Netwurks Xcel21
Human Hair Wigs
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down