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What would you do?

 
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sugabanana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:43pm
That is awesome of him. She ain't shyyt if she left him for that. She needs to think about it like if something were to happen would she want her own kids in foster care or with biological family? No ma'am. Take the boy in. He's at the age where her boyfriend will make a big impact on his life.

That's 2nd grade Mannnnnn poor baby.Cry
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:49pm
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

That is awesome of him. She ain't shyyt if she left him for that. She needs to think about it like if something were to happen would she want her own kids in foster care or with biological family? No ma'am. Take the boy in. He's at the age where her boyfriend will make a big impact on his life.

That's 2nd grade Mannnnnn poor baby.Cry

Yes, its very sad because I don't know what type of conditions he's living in. I don't know if "protective custody" means....an interim foster home or like some sort of facility?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:55pm
I dont think her not wanting to deal with it makes her a bad person. Raising a kid is a lot of work and life changing. Its not like it's temporary either..They should both do what they feel is best....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote JulieGianni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:55pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


it is great the guy will take in his cousin but the woman has every right not to want to have to deal with raising a 7 year old out of the blue

either they will stay together or this will end the relationship (obviously lol)





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mizzsandra00 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:58pm
She does have every right to leave if thats not what she wants......but I think she will regret leaving a good dude for doing an honorable thing......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:01pm
Originally posted by Im_oh_so_hott Im_oh_so_hott wrote:

Yes i would stay, she's selfish if she'd end her 3+ year relationship because her man wants to be a decent MAN and take care of his FAMILY, IF she leaves, then he's better off without her. This kid isn't some baby he made on the side, or some random child dropped on their doorstep by a junkie.

I think that is where most people go wrong. People shame people into situations that people aren't really comfortable with. 

And we don't know if that kid isn't from a junkie's house because his family's rap sheet ain't so great. Man raising a child especially one that isn't your is a great responsibility. He comes in with all the teachings and bag.gage from his family. 


Edited by f8dagrate - May 27 2014 at 9:16pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:04pm
this happened to us a few years into our 'intentionally planned and meticulously crafted' LOL childless marriage. When my sister died , I became guardian to her 8 yr old son. Hub and I had already had the discussion before marriage that we didn't want any kids but we sorta ended up raising one. Best laid plans and all.

This is why I think that even if you plan for everything, things can still change in your marriage and you have to be able to (and willing to) adapt. At the point that a child came into the pix, hub could have said 'I didn't sign up for this so I'm out.'

eta: so no one ask what I would have done if shoe was on other foot. lol


Edited by PurplePhase - May 27 2014 at 2:25pm
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PurplePhase View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:04pm
they're not married yet though so she has many more options available to her lol.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:04pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

She does have every right to leave if thats not what she wants......but I think she will regret leaving a good dude for doing an honorable thing......

Man, probably  but that definitely would put a strain on the relationship. No way I'm in my 30's in a relationship (wanting to get married) for three years and not wifed up. Ain't nobody got time for thatCry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:07pm
I mean yes and no its honorable for him to step up but not if the weight if it all falls in her lap. There are a lot of other factors that have to be addressed. Would raising this child mean pushing her desire to have her own child off to the back burner?

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