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What would you do if your son wanted to be a girl?

 
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ms_wonderland View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 11:57am
the double standards are crazy .... innocent  7 yr old schoolyard and park crushes are considered cute bc you see the kids emulating the normal social construct...but if the 7 yr old forms a different type of identity then they're confused?  Obviously we have all evolved from age 7, but my core really hasn't changed from my elementary self to now.  Some people are way more tuned into who they are at a younger age.  Being so dismissive of the feelings of a child makes me think that some of you were eating dirt and sh*tting on yourselves at that time.  
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OhMyCurlz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote OhMyCurlz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 2:28pm
Originally posted by purpulicious01 purpulicious01 wrote:

[QUOTE=OhMyCurlz]Wellllll.....how folks run their house is their business, but I hope no one would disown their flesh and blood due to their gender identity. 

Girls can show an interest in sports and they are considered a "tomboy"....a boy shows an interest in "girly things" and now it's a problem? Do some of yall have a problem with your little man crying, too? 

There are no longer any reputable psychiatrists that would co-sign that encouraging a child to identify (gender wise) as they feel to be a bad thing. Being a transgender is not a mental illness. These people just repress their feelings and a lot end up committing suicide. Sooooooo, if your son killing himself is worth it to you, just so you don't have to deal with your personal antiquated ideas of your child identifying as a girl, than that's something you will have to deal with. 

But yes, encouraging a child to repress their gender identity is bad parenting

I'd agree if people were saying "I don't want him to be in a dress because I dont want him to be bullied" ............................. 
 I understand that people are starting to adapt a gender neutral stance, but let's not be so quick to call those of us who do not jump on this gender neutral bandwagon bad parents or stupid/selfish

If you are encouraging your child to repress anything, especially gender identity....yes, that's bad parenting. I don't think anyone who works with children would agree that a 7 year old repressing any type of feeling is healthy. 


Now it's wrong for parents to say that they will raise their boys as boys/men, and girls as girls/women...?  

Hmmmm...depends, what all does that entail? What exactly is "raising boys as boys and girls as girls"?

Yes, part of gender roles is due to socialization, BUT there is no denying that there differences between the genders that are biological and ingrained in us (even down to the way our brains are wired). Let's keep in mind that  professional/researchers still disagree and have varying opinions on this topic, so of course us laymen will. 

Our brains aren't wired to feel that dresses are for girls. That aint biological...that's social. I'd love for someone to provide a logical reason as to why dresses should be worn by girls exclusively. Of course, that's why I asked for peoples' opinions. Then after about 5 pages in I voiced mine. There are people that think the Earth is still flat and that the Holocaust never happened. There are researchers that believe black people are worthless sub-humans. My opinion was directly in reference to those that stated they would send their children away. I'm sorry, but nothing about that is even remotely admirable. I wouldn't send the 7 year old child who just expressed a clear internal conflict/body image issue away for how he feels. 

I enjoy a healthy good and mentally stimulating conversation and disagreement, but limiting my commenting because it's obvious this is just another one of "those" topics ( a circular "I'm right, you're wrong and stupid!" BHM debates) 

Not really sure where you got that perception but I'll role with it! Debating is a two way street. You can have your opinion and I can have mine, just because I don't agree with your opinion and can point to reasons why I don't agree with your opinion does not mean that I think you, are wrong and stupid. Unless, you come for me...or misrepresent what I said....they I may start thinking you are stupid.....because you will definitely be wrong. I've said ad nauseam that I dont care how people run their households. Not sure how many more times that needs to be said. 


But I do find some comments in this thread interesting. It's interesting how some can apply logic in this case, but not in others. We cling to scientific evidence, however once it disagree with our current pov, we throw it out the window. 

Yupppppp, agree with you here 100%. 

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Marcelo22 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Marcelo22 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 2:33pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Originally posted by purpulicious01 purpulicious01 wrote:

[QUOTE=OhMyCurlz]Wellllll.....how folks run their house is their business, but I hope no one would disown their flesh and blood due to their gender identity. 

Girls can show an interest in sports and they are considered a "tomboy"....a boy shows an interest in "girly things" and now it's a problem? Do some of yall have a problem with your little man crying, too? 

There are no longer any reputable psychiatrists that would co-sign that encouraging a child to identify (gender wise) as they feel to be a bad thing. Being a transgender is not a mental illness. These people just repress their feelings and a lot end up committing suicide. Sooooooo, if your son killing himself is worth it to you, just so you don't have to deal with your personal antiquated ideas of your child identifying as a girl, than that's something you will have to deal with. 

But yes, encouraging a child to repress their gender identity is bad parenting

I'd agree if people were saying "I don't want him to be in a dress because I dont want him to be bullied" ............................. 
 I understand that people are starting to adapt a gender neutral stance, but let's not be so quick to call those of us who do not jump on this gender neutral bandwagon bad parents or stupid/selfish

If you are encouraging your child to repress anything, especially gender identity....yes, that's bad parenting. I don't think anyone who works with children would agree that a 7 year old repressing any type of feeling is healthy. 



so if u had a daughter and she said "i wanna be white, mommy can i wear your beyonce lacefront blonde wigs, dont forget the weave glue" u would be cool with that? I never met one parent who let their kid do anything they wanted to...just admit yall on this crusade to blur the gender lines cuz its something u believe in
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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 4:07pm
Its a damn free for all for some people.
Kids dont know what they want.
Little Jonny might want a nose ring because its an expression of himself, Im  supposed to let him get that too? Piercings can be removed btw so its not exactly harmful but c'mon, where are the lines being drawn here?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote naturesgift Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 5:00pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

the double standards are crazy .... innocent  7 yr old schoolyard and park crushes are considered cute bc you see the kids emulating the normal social construct...but if the 7 yr old forms a different type of identity then they're confused?  Obviously we have all evolved from age 7, but my core really hasn't changed from my elementary self to now.  Some people are way more tuned into who they are at a younger age.  Being so dismissive of the feelings of a child makes me think that some of you were eating dirt and sh*tting on yourselves at that time.  
you have not changed from your 7 year old self? WOW that is amazing!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 5:22pm
Oh leave him alone.

Don't put too much focus on it and see if it fades away after a couple of years.

But if 7 years later he/she is 14 and is still wearing a dress .. she probably is a girl on the inside so time to take him to a doctor to get him on hormones and get him in to see a therapist so that everything is being handled correctly.

The WORSE thing you can do is shame him or kick his butt etc... as that will make him want it just to get back at you. Even if he gets tired of it maybe he will keep it going to hurt you back .. so then you've created a 'situation'.

Just leave the kid alone ... let what happens - happen.
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Lady ICE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 5:28pm
Deadyour beyonce blonde wigs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote noneyons Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 5:34pm
the nephew i mentioned in this thread has big ole moobs. i wonder if there is a correlation. could it be too much estrogen maybe?
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lanae View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lanae Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 7:14pm
Id cry. No one expects their son to change sexes. id still love him but would not support him cross dressing until he is an adult. Many of my transgendered hs classmates waited until graduation to cross dress and they seem very confident happy and well adjusted. I dont think their parents making them wait until gradiation to express themselves damaged them emotionally. Then again Im not an expert on this subject so my entire family would def see a specialist.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 7:31pm
if you're trying to get your child to repress ANYTHING that's bad parenting?
that's extreme verbiage that is inaccurate


Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

the double standards are crazy .... innocent  7 yr old schoolyard and park crushes are considered cute bc you see the kids emulating the normal social construct...but if the 7 yr old forms a different type of identity then they're confused?  Obviously we have all evolved from age 7, but my core really hasn't changed from my elementary self to now.  Some people are way more tuned into who they are at a younger age.  Being so dismissive of the feelings of a child makes me think that some of you were eating dirt and sh*tting on yourselves at that time.  


what? those two clauses seem incongruous to me but I ain't you shawty




Edited by EPITOME - Mar 28 2014 at 7:34pm
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