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Lilmimi 
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 Topic: What should I do?
Posted: Mar 10 2013 at 6:21pm |
So I recently broke up with my boyfriend (Oh well  ), the problem is we're all part of the same circle. Try to stay with me. My older cousin who is a male his younger sister and I who are the same age are bff's we super cool. My older male cousin has a best friend and I was dating his best friends older brother. Now theres another best friend amongst the guys James; now James is just like me single and loves to travel. Every year he plans a huge trip and invited everyone last year was Panama and the year before was Japan this year he's headed to Cozumel mexico. He invites the whole circle all the time but I'm the only one without kids and now the only single one. He facebooked me about how I should come and I would have a good time. I decided I'm going I work hard, I recently got my Associates degree (I'm going back for my BA) and I really feel like I need a trip. Some of my friends think it's a bad idea. I don't look at James in that way and he only invited me cause he invites everyone and we have a lot in common. My co-worker said although my ex and I are not together I should always have one up on him and I need to be loyal. But I really don't care he ruined my life and I'm finally getting back together. Do you guys think I should go on vacation with James and his friends? Please help 
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Printer_Ink
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 3:24pm |
Ummm your story is too rambling and disjointed to understand if this James is your ex or if he is a mutual friend. However, whether your ex dumped you or you dumped him .. you don't owe him your 'loyalty'. Please rephrase your text .. using paragraphs to make it more readable. 
Edited by Printer_Ink - Mar 11 2013 at 3:25pm
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loveandpeace1984
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 3:53pm |
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I figured your story out and here is the deal. If you are just going to chill and have fun and your ex don't make a big deal out of nothing cool. But if you two are some emotional people, than no, it's a bad idea.
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Lilmimi
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 8:54pm |
 Printer_Ink wrote:
Ummm your story is too rambling and disjointed to understand if this James is your ex or if he is a mutual friend. However, whether your ex dumped you or you dumped him .. you don't owe him your 'loyalty'. Please rephrase your text .. using paragraphs to make it more readable. |
Samir-My Ex James-One of my Ex's little brother friends Cory-My Cousin Shakir-Samir's little brother James, Cory, and Shakir are all best friends (since they were kids) I was dating Samir which is Shakirs older brother and he knows all the guys. He doesn't hang with them cause he's older and he has his own set of friends but he knows everyone of course.
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BBpants
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 10:23pm |
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Basically your ex's friend invited you to travel and you're unsure if you should go cuz someone said you should be loyal to your ex?
If so, then there is no loyalty when it comes to exs because I know if the shoe was on the other foot he wouldn't worry about how you felt.
Edited by BBpants - Mar 11 2013 at 10:24pm
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Lilmimi
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 10:31pm |
BBpants wrote:
Basically your ex's friend invited you to travel and you're unsure if you should go cuz someone said you should be loyal to your ex?
If so, then there is no loyalty when it comes to exs because I know if the shoe was on the other foot he wouldn't worry about how you felt.
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I agree, and I want to go and enjoy myself I work hard and a vacation would be nice. But my cousin Cory his sister thinks I should remain loyal although we are not together. And on my fathers grave I have no intentions of ever getting back with him. She keeps saying it's always good for a woman to have the upper hand. Whatever the hell that means.
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BBpants
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 10:36pm |
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Meh. I say go on the trip and have fun! People will always have stuff to say. I don't know what the upperhand means in this situation since yall aint together anymore..... lol
Besides you're only going on a trip. It's not like you're going out with the other dude. Even if you were, it's none of his business.
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khivey
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 11:24pm |
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You have the same circle of friends that hang out together from time to time, so how do you know your ex won't be there as well?
I'd find a new circle of friends.
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Printer_Ink
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Posted: Mar 12 2013 at 3:17am |
Okay, I understand now. So I repeat '... whether your ex dumped you or you dumped him .. you don't owe him your 'loyalty'.  I don't understand the advice those girls are giving you though - makes no sense. Really.... I find that to be extremely poor advice.  I must say though .. do you still have feeling for your ex? I say that because it sounds like you are kindof worried about going on this trip .. if there is a chance he would be there. You should ask this guy POINT BLANK - will your ex be on the trip as well. If so .. don't go for goodness sakes. He's not gonna see you etc and suddenly realize that he wants you back etc. Umm if anything you might find yourself in an unguarded position (I love Cozumel!) so that he ends up getting ex SEX out of you. After it's over you might expect more ... but for him it was 'just sex' so he will move on and you will feel used and hurt. If you go and hook up with a mutual guy friend that is also on this trip ..ummm that's gonna be a messy - especially if you get weak and get intimate with him even if nothing happens and it justs LOOKs like something is going on. You know .. 'men talk' and what they talk about is who they think they can get sex out of.  Now ... I keep mentioning sex because the beach and the water etc ... and the cool nights are wowwww a huggeeee turnon - all manner of things can happen. Been there .. done that! (I digress!) hee hee! Or maybe your ex will bring along his current girlfriend or meets someone there ... and you've gotta sit there, smile politely .. and watch that happening the whole DANG GONE trip! If I were you .. I would distance myself from these mutual friends of your ex until a few years or whatever have gone by and you have some persective and/or involved in another guy so that he is completely out of your head. I think you are writing to us now because he IS still in your head. Be kind to yourself... don't torture yourself with your ex's company on this trip. 
Edited by Printer_Ink - Mar 12 2013 at 3:40am
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Midna
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Posted: Mar 12 2013 at 5:30am |
Although I'm pretty confused, I'll say this: Never deny yourself the opportunity of fun with friends just because of the presence of an ex.  Besides, how you gonna let a man who is in the past prevent you from doing what you want?  You know you want to go, so go! As far as you're concerned, he shouldn't even exist to you during the vacation! Don't talk to him and if he tries to talk to you, swerve and go have your fun!
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