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what does he want from me?

 
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princesslola View Drop Down
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    Posted: Apr 12 2014 at 6:50pm
I've been crushing on this guy for years(im 27 and he's 7 yrs older than me...just throwing that in there),he finally approached and we've been texting. So anyway I was asking him advice about an outfit or hairstyle and I said oooh u have good taste I'm going to always ask you. He told me "don't do that I'm not the friend zone type dude".

Okay so by him saying that it's telling me he like me but idk if like a hit and quit or potential relationship. I know that's not much to base it off of but I've never had a guy off top just tell me " im not the friend zone type" by me typing that it sounds mean but he's really nice.

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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2014 at 7:14pm
He could be meaning many thing such as:

- don't contact me for that kind of stuff
- I'm into you so don't friend-zone me
- I want to f*ck so don't contact me for that

Just see how his actions are towards you.
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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2014 at 8:33pm
He is telling you that he isn't trying to be your friend. Where it goes or what type of relationship ya'll establish is to be determined. Have fun dating him...make sure he takes you out on a date and fall back on all that texting so he can make some actual phone calls. Don't start sexting either...lol that comes later later later 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote india100 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2014 at 8:37pm
Run if you are looking for a serious relationship  .
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2014 at 2:43am
I think texting - like emailing and posting on forums etc is a fast as easy way to communicate - but it's also a fast and easy way to miscommunicate and read too much into things.

I think there are already several red flags that you are heading down the wrong path...

1) He could have meant anything by that statement so don't give it too much 'life'. I think basically he meant 'hold ON now, don't try to turn me into your buddy so don't come asking me all your girly stuff like that. Let’s just see where this goes'.

He's probably had women in his life before that treated him like this and that stuff makes an Alpha male gag. :(

I think you need to understand that a guy that you 'connect' with for a possible dating situation .. is not the same as a gf you 'connect' with for a friendship – so don’t be asking him (in other words) if ...' your ass looks too big in these jeans?'!

2) Another thing is that question sounds like you are a bit insecure about yourself. This would be another DEATH NELL to a relationship because he will see you as needy and weak. Ask you REAL girlfriends advice about your girl stuff not the guy you are just starting to date.

(Yes, a guy can turn into your best friend AFTER - WAAAAY AFTER you establish a good relationship but these are rather youthful situations when you are both in high school/college).

3)Also at this point .. his being 34 and your being 27 puts you at disadvantage in the relationship (he will try to be in charge of you) so take it easy. Let him chase you and DON'T GO BOOM BOOM with him for several months - just SEE what kind of guy he is and …. if he's good enough for you.

4) Does he know you are ‘crushing’ on him for YEARS? Because that will start it off on the WRONG foot for sure! Don't flatter him or tell him how you feel about him or let on that YOU LIKE HIM and all that crap because the game will be over before it even begins. Then you will be on here writing that he suddenly dumped you. PLEASE TAKE THIS BIT OF advice if not anything else.

5) So don’t be so happy that he is contacting you. He will think you don't get enough 'play' from other men .. which will lower his attraction to you for sure (although he will try to use you for sex). No guy wants a chick that no other guy wants such that she is so happy for a little bit of attention (like a text) from him. Game over ... he will move on.

HE should be happy that YOU have agreed to give him a chance. YOU are the prize afterall … not him. :)

Hold your 'core' strong, be pretty and sweet but take it slow girlfriend. You are in the 'fact finding' phase of the relationship at this moment so keep your cards close to your chest!

Edited by Printer_Ink - Apr 13 2014 at 5:47am
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princesslola View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote princesslola Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2014 at 11:04am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

I think texting - like emailing and posting on forums etc is a fast as easy way to communicate - but it's also a fast and easy way to miscommunicate and read too much into things.

I think there are already several red flags that you are heading down the wrong path...

1) He could have meant anything by that statement so don't give it too much 'life'. I think basically he meant 'hold ON now, don't try to turn me into your buddy so don't come asking me all your girly stuff like that. Let’s just see where this goes'.

He's probably had women in his life before that treated him like this and that stuff makes an Alpha male gag. :(

I think you need to understand that a guy that you 'connect' with for a possible dating situation .. is not the same as a gf you 'connect' with for a friendship – so don’t be asking him (in other words) if ...' your ass looks too big in these jeans?'!

2) Another thing is that question sounds like you are a bit insecure about yourself. This would be another DEATH NELL to a relationship because he will see you as needy and weak. Ask you REAL girlfriends advice about your girl stuff not the guy you are just starting to date.

(Yes, a guy can turn into your best friend AFTER - WAAAAY AFTER you establish a good relationship but these are rather youthful situations when you are both in high school/college).

3)Also at this point .. his being 34 and your being 27 puts you at disadvantage in the relationship (he will try to be in charge of you) so take it easy. Let him chase you and DON'T GO BOOM BOOM with him for several months - just SEE what kind of guy he is and …. if he's good enough for you.

4) Does he know you are ‘crushing’ on him for YEARS? Because that will start it off on the WRONG foot for sure! Don't flatter him or tell him how you feel about him or let on that YOU LIKE HIM and all that crap because the game will be over before it even begins. Then you will be on here writing that he suddenly dumped you. PLEASE TAKE THIS BIT OF advice if not anything else.

5) So don’t be so happy that he is contacting you. He will think you don't get enough 'play' from other men .. which will lower his attraction to you for sure (although he will try to use you for sex). No guy wants a chick that no other guy wants such that she is so happy for a little bit of attention (like a text) from him. Game over ... he will move on.

HE should be happy that YOU have agreed to give him a chance. YOU are the prize afterall … not him. :)

Hold your 'core' strong, be pretty and sweet but take it slow girlfriend. You are in the 'fact finding' phase of the relationship at this moment so keep your cards close to your chest!


thanks everyone

@printer_ink thanks I've always thought he was attractive but I never told him until after he asked for my number and we began talking,I only told him because he never thought I even looked his way. He thought I was interested in 2 other guys since they liked me. So I left it at yea I've always thought u were attractive. I don't think anything is wrong with telling a person that or letting a guy know how u feel about them because if I didn't then I think he would think I never liked him.

I'm not insecure about myself. That was just a question. Not understanding how that will make me insecure.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2014 at 12:35pm
if he hsnt called you to plan a date, you are already in hit  & quit categry.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2014 at 3:58pm
How old are you?

Because I can tell you for a FACT that is NEVER a good idea to jump off telling a guy you find him attractive. NEVER. He is supposed to be telling YOU this .. and you are supposed to smile and say 'thank you' (like you KNOW you are the s***).

You have just rolled belly up and showed him your soft, furry vulerable underbelly .. without him having to do ANY WORK to get you!

You just took the mans job away from him - so what's he got left to do now? Umm oh yes,he will try to go BOOM BOOM with you and shortly thereafter .. he will be gone.

How much do you want to bet?

Anyway, like the woman above said .. he hasn't CALLED (takes effort) to ask you out for a real date like a grown assed 30 something man that wants a woman. He is texting you .. which is the lazy man's way.

So already you are in the 'hit it and quit it' category.

(I know you don't believe me ... you will just have to find out for yourself but at least don't fu** him. Just let him dump you with your dignity in tact at least!)
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Benni View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2014 at 5:16pm
RUN FAST. DON'T LOOK BACK !!

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princesslola View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote princesslola Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2014 at 8:29pm
Date has already been done.

Printer_ink im 27...how old are u? Late 40's or 50's?...sorry babe but it's not like it was when u were dating im sure you're getting no play now since your always on here but anyways there is nothing wrong with telling a person u also find them attractive. There is nothing wrong with complimenting a man U always seem to take things and turn them all the way around. I was just asking about the friend zone thing. Because I didn't know what he meant by that and yeah maybe I should've asked when he said it but I didn't think about it until afterwards but didn't want to bring it up again. At first I did think of it as him saying nah dont friend zone me I want to date u. Then I started thinking more into it like I always do.

Thanks for the replies I did want to know what others thought about it. Printer_ink always seem to do the most.
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