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nitabug 
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 Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:58am |
 Over_all wrote:
If you don't like something that fine we can choose another place but the preliminary dates Idk how long you're going to be around & or what you're intentions are so I can't invest too much $$ into that.. |
I look at it a bit different. More of an investment of time, not money. We should be having fun and enjoying ourselves. Once the focus switches to 'is this about money' it isn't fun anymore.
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smgreene67
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:59am |
I am not a gold digger because I had my own stuff and did not expect a man to pay my bills or to get my hair done etc (not casting judgment on those who do). However, I think that a man should "court" a woman and this definitely applied to my expectations of my (now husband) while we were dating.
ETA: I am somewhat older than most ladies and guys on this forum.
Edited by smgreene67 - Feb 12 2013 at 10:01am
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nitabug
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:00am |
jonesable wrote:
When I go out with friends or family and I know they are paying I still offer.
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We weren't raised like that. When my dad visits, they pay. If we want to pay, we discuss it before hand. It's disrespectful to offer to pay once he pulled out his card. We can offer to leave a tip though.
Edited by nitabug - Feb 12 2013 at 10:00am
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Over_all
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:01am |
nitabug wrote:
Over_all wrote:
If you don't like something that fine we can choose another place but the preliminary dates Idk how long you're going to be around & or what you're intentions are so I can't invest too much $$ into that.. |
I look at it a bit different. More of an investment of time, not money. We should be having fun and enjoying ourselves. Once the focus switches to 'is this about money' it isn't fun anymore.
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It should be about that but as a guy that lives in bopper city that's something you have to watch out for.. When I was in Cali and Wash state I never had this problem.. But when I came home after the military I was like damn they still acti like this here??
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_ConcreteRose_
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:03am |
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I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay.
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india100
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:07am |
Junior Jr wrote:
jonesable wrote:
I see nothing wrong with offering.In fact it's probably a good move to see what kinda guy you're dealing with.
If he does accept then you know.
I don't mind guys having pet peeves.
I do
I don't offer but I def see the rationale. |
i've been saying this for almost 4 years
this is why you're my fav resident of gullah gullah island
jr. |
Junior you are so cheap !! I am suprise you are always talking about the dates you go on .  
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Bunnyahh
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:08am |
_ConcreteRose_ wrote:
I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay. |
yeah, this is what nita is saying & I totally agree.
On the other hand like the guy in the op, mixer, & overall say, paying over & over again & again without reciprocation is a turn off for some not all. & I understand why
tis all. just being objective & looking at both sides here
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Over_all
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:09am |
smgreene67 wrote:
I am not a gold digger because I had my own stuff and did not expect a man to pay my bills or to get my hair done etc (not casting judgment on those who do). However, I think that a man should "court" a woman and this definitely applied to my expectations of my (now husband) while we were dating.
ETA: I am somewhat older than most ladies and guys on this forum. |
I'll take the bait.. I get courting a woman back then when women were viewed at as less ($ wise) and women had more character and morals (not saying that don't have it now but $hit they think it's okay to to come out as the side chic).. To me courting was a way of showing that you could or were a capable provider.. But now with all equality and independence comes a realization that we should be courting eachother
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nitabug
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:09am |
_ConcreteRose_ wrote:
I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay. |
That is my whole point. It's not a kind gesture if you really don't intend to pay. & I remember being tried on a date. & he tried to act like I couldn't afford it. Lawd, I excused myself and pretended to go to the ladies room. I found our waitress and prepaid with tip. The look on his face and my face was priceless when the bill came.  We never went out on a date again.
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OoDles O
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Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:10am |
_ConcreteRose_ wrote:
I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay. |
Yea, it is silly if you "dont really mean it". I agree... dont offer if you really dont mean it. When me and the homies go out.. I'm like "yo.. I gotchu dont trip (talking bout drinks)" If I go over a girls house and she cooks.. "I'm like yo.. I will wash the dishes.. dont trip"... If I offer up gas money.. Im actually trying to help out... to make your life more convenient...
So maybe.. just maybe... their is a young lady out their who does "really mean it"....to. lol.. when it comes to paying for dinner ....
But they're rare on BHM ... lol
Edited by OoDles O - Feb 12 2013 at 10:14am
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