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Midna View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Welp..
    Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 4:38am
My mother has gone to jail. :\

She attempted to stab her deadbeat boyfriend/husband/whatever he is. A part of me sighs in relief because ultimately the abusive aspects of her are ensured to stay out of my life. The man himself isn't any better, he's an inappropriate bum who mooches off her while also disrespecting her and the two are just the epitome of relationship toxicity.

But I'm also hurting. This is my mother, after all.. I have no intent to ever get close to her but I also feel simply abandoning her and letting her rot in jail makes me no better than her.

BHM, have you ever gone through a loved one going to jail? How does this work..? This is.. completely alien territory to me, information-wise and.. emotionally.

I'll be honest, it's not looking good for her. Bail is at $50k and because she used a kitchen knife, her chances at a positive outcome are grim.
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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 5:39am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:



But I'm also hurting. This is my mother, after all..

Hug


Edited by eanaj5 - Jul 31 2014 at 5:39am
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 7:24am
Hug

I understand because my mother can be very toxic.  

I never know how to respond to these types of incidents with family members but my older sister has no issue making calls and arrangements.   I let her handle it. 
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newdiva1 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 7:32am
Dang Midna. Hmmm...well. My mom has gone to jail but we did not bail her out or anything. She needed to be in there to dry out. We did not do anything except visit her, call her or she would call us and put money on her books until she got out.
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afrokock View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 7:35am
Dang..

Good luck ..

All the best ..



Just try and protect her assets if you can.. That's the least you can do

Edited by afrokock - Jul 31 2014 at 7:37am
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MissDarkEyes View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 8:30am
Family or not, you just can't help people that don't want to be helped.  She chose her way and has to live with the consequences, unfortunately.  You can only hope that *maybe* this will be a wake up call for her.  Hell, NO man is worth going to prison over. Cry
 
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kerysdream7 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 8:35am
Hug

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mizzsandra00 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 8:45am
Awwww Electric......you can't help loving your mom because aint nothing like momma....
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Princess Grace View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 8:56am
Depending on the amount of time she gets, I would go pack her belongings and if I had room store them for her, if not do you have any sibling who could take some of the things.

People who have had loving sane mothers will never really understand a toxic mother daughter relationship. I had to dig deep down in my soul to let Mama Grace come live with me, and some days I say silent prayers before I enter her room. 

I am a firm believer that dna cannot be the only tie that binds us, if someone makes you feel a way and you express how it makes you feel and they do NOTHING to work on changing then they dont give a phuck, and it comes down to YOUR happiness or them. They straight losing every time with me. First law of nature is self preservation for a reason. 


Life is too short to be burdened with someone elses situations that their actions show they aint really worrying about themselves. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 31 2014 at 9:06am
I don't know the history of you and mom. Not sure if you've talked about on here, but you could put a few bucks on her books here and there. Maybe write her a time or two. And visit if you feel you can handle seeing her. That way, you're not completely abandoning her, but still keeping some distance.
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