Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Natural Hair Care > Natural Hair Care
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Wasnt Meant To Be?
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

Wasnt Meant To Be?

 
 Post Reply Post Reply


Bootiful Cream



Author
naturalhaitian View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 08 2013
Location: my room
Status: Offline
Points: 331
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote naturalhaitian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Wasnt Meant To Be?
    Posted: Jan 17 2014 at 12:40am
I love the natural hair care forum & have loved being natural for 3 years. The first year was trial & error and rocked twa's with no color. But 2 years ago, I wanted to see how long could my 4c hair grow. I've been stuck at a plateau for 2 years now. I do know that african american hair can grow & have seen it. But everyone is different, is it possible that long hair wasn't meant for me. Is it possible that my hair just wont grow past my neck or get stretch long enough pass my neck. I've taken advice on the forums & from youtube videos. 

Hair infinity pills helped my hair grow faster in 3 months, but afterwards it just stopped working. Castor Oil I love, helped grow & thicken my edges, and keeps my hair soft.
Trimming my hair in the salon hasn't helped either it just grows back to its usual length..I went one year without trimming no effect, & the other year I tried every 6 weeks but it would just grow back to its usual length.
I have seen multiple dermatologist about my scalp & hair, & they couldn't find anything wrong.

Now I have some insecurities about my hair because my immediate family members are questioning me about "your hair isn't growing". Or "natural hair isn't working for you because your hair isn't long." 
I would love for my hair to gain some length to try other styles, but its frustrating to see my natural hair friends hair getting longer & me stuck at a plateau.

Another reason why its bothering me the most is because my ex broke up with on Christmas 2013 to be with a girl with long natural hair...Cry
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
NARSAddict View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 20 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 31644
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NARSAddict Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 17 2014 at 10:22am
How do you maintain your hair when you go to sleep and was is your routine and how do you wear your hair?  Do you exercise?
Back to Top
phoenixx View Drop Down
New Member
New Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 25 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 82
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote phoenixx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 17 2014 at 12:26pm
if he broke up with you because of your hair.....you didn't need him anyway.
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 18572
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 17 2014 at 3:57pm
From what I understand, hair does grow, for some slower than others. Maintaining length, depends on how you care for the ends of your. That is where breakage usually occur. Some people trim more frequently than their growth rate, so progress is never noticed . Keeping your ends moisturized and protected should help. Along with trimming less often.

Good Luck with finding a remedy
Back to Top
femmemuscleisback View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Feb 05 2011
Location: US
Status: Offline
Points: 13848
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemuscleisback Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 18 2014 at 5:36pm
it's the continuing 4c saga.

I was browsing another hair forum where someone asked this same question but in a different way: "Is 4c hair designed to be short?".. the majority of the answers were yes.

Sure there are a handful of folks with butt length 4c hair, but compared to other with 3c and less it's a minority.

I did notice that a few 3a-c's were vociferous saying: "It doesn't matter what grade your hair is - you can grow it long."  Okay, but when others asked "Are you a 4c?"  They back-paddled "Well, i don't know much about hair grading - but YES, SURE! you're hair should grow long" "Or my sister has long hair (that's subjective), and she's a 4c - but yeah, okay, i'm not 4c"..

thanks for your input..Geek

Well, i'm a 4c.. and because the tinier/fragile the coil? the more setbacks i've had. I've been on this forum since 2005.. You would think the hair gods would have blessed my Elite Member Status  as&*&s with ankle length hair by now.  They have not.

I've done everything i'm supposed to do. Baggy, Invert, Divert, Growth Aides, DHT blockers, Head Massages, Full Body Massages, (massaging other people - okay, men, but that's beside the point), Detox, Betonite Clay, Play Dough, Silly Puddy,  Protective Styles, sexual favors - and after several - yes SEVERAL setbacks, i'm at CBL when it's stretched.. Otherwise, i'm a 2"  uneven TWA..

Think about it 2005, to 2013.  Yes, I should be sitting over in Cambodia somewhere waiting for that Arju-ju chick to cut off my luxurious flowing locks and offer me a good price for it - with 3 feet to spare..Stern Smile

That is soooo not the case.  I maybe ranting, but i'm finally accepting the fact that i am not genetically gifted like Serra, Deseray, Sibongile, Ijeoma, Chalise, etc.

I'm learning to retain what i have and be happy with it. Relaxing, or using heat to "show length" is just going to cause another setback. My hair can't even LOOK at a blow dryer without falling out.

thus, when it comes to 4c?  just work on keeping your hair healthy.  Healthy is good.

and if your family members keep going on about you're hair isn't LONG?  then tell them if they can't find a solution to the problem - and it's obviously THEIR problem, then they can shut the hell up.













Back to Top
femmemuscleisback View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Feb 05 2011
Location: US
Status: Offline
Points: 13848
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote femmemuscleisback Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 18 2014 at 5:43pm
and as for your Ex..

Yeah, i had one of those, he left me for a size one chick with long hair.  Okay, if that's what he likes, more power to him.

But i WILL say, that a man who leaves a good woman because he wants to play with someone else's hair is not a man.. That's a child.

Any REAL man knows that there are better things to "play with" on a woman other than her hair.

You're beautiful, MissHaitian.. forget about that loser and be proud of who you are, and what you have.

you're doing just fine.Smile




Back to Top
902sexxi View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: Jun 17 2012
Location: New Jersey
Status: Offline
Points: 521
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 902sexxi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 18 2014 at 8:29pm
MissHaitian, sorry you are going through this. The boyfriend (ex) is a douche, forget about him. Now everyone may not be destined.to have waist length hair, BUT w/ proper care everyone can have at least Apl length. C Several books I can recommend are Science of Black Hair, Grow it by Chicoro and Ultra Black Hair by Cathy Howse. I know many will say why buy a book when free info is available and youtube guru are helpful? Sometimes its best to absorb info for yourself and see what works for you. Sometimes the youtube gurus advise can prove disasterous! What works for one 4b may not work for another, please if you get a chance check on these books. Also could you.post your regimen? What does your moisture/protein balance look like? Do you know if you're high or low porosity? What's your styling routine like?
Back to Top
luvmybiga$$fro View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 20 2006
Location: MD
Status: Offline
Points: 6606
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote luvmybiga$$fro Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 19 2014 at 8:56am
Ita with all the ladies that posted! Yes, hair grows, but there will be those folk who may not reach very long hair status, but that's ok! We have to be realistic about our goals in conjunction with what we KNOW- we know works for or against our heads vs what we WANT for our hair. If you're doing everything the right way and the growth isn't coming and you've checked out all the possible culprits and there's no issue, it's time to change focus from length to health.

I have seen and known plenty of women with shorter hair- be it genetics or by choice- who have outrageously healthy, full and shiny hair! For those who wanted longer hair, but it just wasn't happening, in spite of healthy hair practices, they changed their focus from length to maintaining a healthy head of hair. It relieved alot of stress as well!

In regards to the ex, God just removed him bc he wasn't worthy of the diamond you are! Hair length is not a valid reason to be with or leave a person. It's very superficial. We are much more than hair! So, he's where he belongs: in your rear view mirror!
Back to Top
mangachan View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: May 12 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 16574
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mangachan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 12:53pm
People of all different types have their various troubles.  That's life...some don't grow hair as easily while they have awesome long nails, beautiful shapely bodies, a knack for math and end up as rich doctors.  Appreciate what you do have, do styles that suit you.  The length and/or thickness will come.  If it doesn't just try something else.  Try a different technique or leave it in back to back protective styles.  WHATEVER you do (hair and otherwise), don't let other people define your goals or make you apologize for being you. The "point" of natural hair isn't necessarily to grow it long.  Natural hair isn't some "grow hair quick" scheme.  You don't have to waste your time and money getting your scalp burned by some hair school dropout and that in itself is a WIN.  Natural hair and your life in general is what YOU make it.

If your family just won't quit with the negativity, give them ONE warning to drop it and let them know that you won't be engaging in those types of discussions.  If they continue, just don't respond or remove yourself from the situation entirely.  You don't deserve to constantly have other people speak negativity in your life, even if they happen to share DNA with you.  Some of them probably have hair issues, weight issues, money issues man, issues and if you "schooled" them about their mess they would feel offended.  Basically, set up boundaries with them because family can be the worse cause of stress if you don't.


As far as the guy that left you...that was the stupidest reason to leave someone.  I know you are a talented, beautiful and intelligent woman.  No decent man worth his salt would leave somebody over some dern hair.  I can't deal with people like that.  I understand you are upset and you cared about him but of all the superficial reasons to dump somebody, that's probably on the top 5.

If he actually left you for somebody else specifically who happened to have long hair, the hair was NOT the only factor there.


**ALSO you seemed to have been getting a lot of trims and we all know how people can be about confusing TRIMS with CUTS...also you have to consider how those trims were done.  I'm seeing red flags on that.  As far as trims, you need them, but every 6 weeks sounds like a lot.  When I had a relaxer at every 8 weeks and that was alot.
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Little Black Scarg
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down