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"Want marital bliss? Then Stay In Your Place!"

 
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HunnyB View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote HunnyB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 08 2014 at 5:49pm
I'm all for everyone playing their part, but when I got to this:

urging women to devote 75% of their youth to husband hunting in lieu of professional development.

Ermm ...No ma'am. 

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CherryBlossom View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote CherryBlossom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 3:56am
LOLright? 75% though? 

that's a really dangerous game though..sacrifice your career prospects for a man and then be left with nothing once the sh*t hits the fanOuch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 4:23am
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

lol...I got to that last sentence and just...


so shady..I love itLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CherryBlossom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 4:51am
LOLsome of her "advice" is hilarious:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/06/susan-patton-advice_n_4907116.html

Here are the 10 worst pieces of dating advice from Marry Smart -- and trust me, there was plenty of bad advice from which to choose:

1. “Potential buyers are unmotivated if offered free merchandise, i.e., it’s the lonely cow that gives away free milk.” Women, do we really want to marry the kind of guys who will only commit to a woman so they can finally have sex with her? A man should be choosing to be with you because he appreciates your company, shares your values, and even, heck, actually loves you. Besides, a 2006 study revealed that 95 percent of Americans had engaged in premarital sex, and yet far more than 5 percent are married, so it sure seems like a lot of guys are indeed investing in cows of their very own despite access to free milk. This suggests that most men have motives other than finally obtaining sex from a recalcitrant girlfriend when they choose to take the plunge.

2. “If you’ve struggled with obesity through most of your teen years, then maybe surgical intervention is a good idea for you [...] If you’re going to go the route of cosmetic surgery, do it early enough to feel comfortable in your new body before going away to school.” Advising overweight, but not necessarily unhealthy, teenagers to get weight-loss surgery to slim down for the college dating market? That’s terrible advice both psychologically and medically. Doctors typically recommend that weight-loss surgery for teens should be considered only when serious obesity-related health complications have arisen, not for cosmetic reasons. And even if a teenager is a good candidate, the procedure is risky and requires the patient’s full commitment to maintaining a very restricted diet and appropriate lifestyle following the surgery. Weight-loss surgery not something to urge on an overweight teen just so that she can expand her potential dating options.

3. “Online dating can be the equivalent of going to a singles bar... for lazy people. [...] Yes, I know that many people meet online and sometimes it works out well, but it is frequently inelegant, undignified, and hazardous.” Wait, we’re supposed to get serious about meeting compatible men without even trying to connect with an appropriate guy through a forum where single people actively looking for relationships can go to find dates with similar interests and values? Also, if she thinks it’s lazy to dedicate an hour (or more) every evening to rating profiles, crafting witty but alluring messages to that cute barista/novelist who keeps popping up in your “Recommended Matches,” sorting through messages that range from offensive and graphic to mildly appealing, corresponding with new prospects, and arranging first dates... well, clearly she’s never tried online dating. (Try it, Susan! I met some awesome guys on OKCupid.)

4. “In choosing a husband, how important are credentials? Extremely important.” The elitism inherent in this tip is undeniable -- and even The Princeton Mom should be aware that a man’s academic and professional credentials usually have at least as much to do with his parents’ wealth and connections as with his own merit. Don't use shortcuts: Dedicate some time to figuring out whether your potential spouse is actually a competent, motivated, and generally self-sufficient person who will be a capable partner in life. Even if you really just love the idea of marrying a Harvard MBA with a sweet job at Goldman Sachs, remember those shiny credentials likely won’t make you happy with a partner who’s lacking in the qualities that actually make a good partner, such as compatibility, considerateness, and loyalty. Plus, do you want to be that woman who awkwardly manages to pitch her voice a little louder so everyone at the cocktail party can hear that her husband's alma mater is "Harrrrvard"? No one wants to be that woman.

5. “If you are too drunk to speak, then you may be incapable of saying no or warding off unwanted advances. And then it’s all on you.” I’m going to be heartfelt for a moment. If you have been sexually assaulted while too drunk to consent, it is not all on you. In fact, it’s not at all on you. Telling women that they are responsible for the crimes committed against them is not just terrible advice; it contributes to a culture in which rape victims are discouraged from reporting their assaults and even victimized further by judgmental friends, police, and college administrators. A new study suggests that rapists actually target drunk women, possibly in part because their victims won’t be taken seriously by law enforcement. Women aren’t to blame for this predatory behavior.

6. “Until you find a spouse, I would advise you invest your effort and energy at least 75 percent in searching for a partner and 25 percent in professional development.” Um, is this even possible? Assuming these women are still working 40 hours a week to support themselves, she’s recommending 120 hours a week be devoted to the husband hunt. Since online dating is off the table, you need to spend an average of 17 hours a day putting her tips for man-hunting into practice. That means, per Patton, you should be frequenting your local house of worship for like-minded worshippers, harassing friends to set you up with single acquaintances, and emailing old college classmates to see if they’re successful and marriage-worthy yet. Don’t worry, this leaves you 8 hours of free time for the week. I recommend you spend them sleeping, but you could also choose to spend them pursuing hobbies, such as pickling and needlework, that will make you more desirable as a wife.

7. “Self-reliance is the cornerstone of independence […] A measure of self-reliance and creativity is the ability to ‘make it yourself.’ Learn how to bake bread.” Patton repeatedly urges women to give up career advancement and even stay home with the kids for years if they don’t need to work to keep food on the table. Yet, adorably, she does try to encourage self-reliance... through baking. Ladies, the ability to bake a pie will probably not help you achieve meaningful self-reliance if you find yourself the sole earner in your household again one day. Unless you are really, really good at baking pies.

8. “You can recover lost time on the job -- but not in your children’s lives.” Let’s not downplay how difficult many women find it to reenter the workforce after a prolonged maternity leave. Patton may think it’s worth it to lose years’ worth of promotions and watch one’s qualifications become obsolete in order to be home full-time for one’s children, but at least let's give women the straight facts and let them decide whether they’d prefer to remain in the workforce or accept the massive professional setbacks and stay home. Many women find it’sclose to impossible to gain a foothold in their old profession, especially in a position as senior as the one they left to have children. If you value your career as well as your family, this is not as easy a choice as Patton paints it to be.

9. “Girl, lose the weight! I know it’s hard… just do it.” Oh, okay. Guess it’s as simple as “just doing it.” Super helpful, thanks!

10. “When she enters college, your daughter will never again be as young, as beautiful, as attractive to men, or as fertile. Encourage her to make the best use of this time.Stern Smile” Parents, I beg of you: Do not tell your college-aged daughters to hook a husband before they grow too old and ugly. Trust me, she knows she’s enjoying the full bloom of youth, and the guys she’ll meet at college will let her know how attractive they find her. When and if she wants to get married, she’ll be able to make that choice for herself. Instead, tell her she’s smart, capable, and able to accomplish anything she sets her mind to. Tell her to find out who she is and how she wants to spend her life before she focuses on finding someone to share it with. Tell her to learn how to be truly self-reliant and never feel dependent on a man for support or fulfillment. Girls today need to hear these things, from their parents as much as anyone.



Edited by CherryBlossom - Jul 09 2014 at 5:04am
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iliveforbhm View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iliveforbhm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 6:00am
She is right.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 6:16am

yuck
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_ConcreteRose_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 6:34am
Im just going to ignore all the problematic stuff in that post, and say: that must be a terribly sad way to live. I can't imagine living for the goal of attracting/pleasing someone else.

Edited by _ConcreteRose_ - Jul 09 2014 at 6:35am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote JasmineE02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 9:07am
I think I hate her.  LOL  Her book has 2 1/2 stars on amazon.  Dead
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote livi123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 9:50am
Originally posted by JasmineE02 JasmineE02 wrote:

I think I hate her.  LOL  Her book has 2 1/2 stars on amazon.  Dead




Marry Smart: Advice for Finding THE ONE


Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By P. Geisik on June 5, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The first thing that hit me, upon reading the first few pages of this book, was that I had paid for it. I had paid for this massive brain fart of a book. You will never hate anything as hard as I hate this book. And it's not even in the top 10 things I hate. Not by a long shot. Likewise, you will never hate anything quite as much as Susan Patton hates logic. That is the only conclusion I can draw from her complete disregard for it. She contradicts herself many times in this book, some times in the same chapter. I must admit, I did get a laugh out of it. The way she talks about women in their 30's is funny in a horrible kind of way. At one point Ms. Patton instructs women in their 30's who have the audacity to attend parties to leave by sharing a cab with "the other spinsters in training." Ms. Patton appears to be completely out of touch with modern life. At one point in the book she expresses that she believes anybody can join a marching band if they can enthusiastically bang trash can lids together. As a college student at one of America's less than prestigious schools, I can safely say standards are higher than that, at least at my school. Patton admits that she did no research beyond talking to those within her narrow circle of friends, and it shows. She believes herself to be incredibly smart, and looks down on anybody who did not go to an Ivy League school as dumb. She considers a degree from Princeton (Her alma mater, which she reminds us with alarming frequency) to be more important than from any other school, regardless of what a student majored in. Her exact example was, from page 68, was "A degree in advanced biomedical engineering and experimental physics from Podunk University can't compare to an A.B. in English from Yale."
Given the large unemployment for humanities majors, I would argue differently. This only serves to demonstrate Patton's tenuous grasp on the world. Her examples of activities for smart people did not include Mathematics, Physics, or any sort of science whatsoever.
Then there is the racism. If, for some reason you have decided to buy this book based on my review, the most racist part starts at page 71. Let there be no misunderstanding about this: Susan Patton does not endorse interracial marriage. She tries to justify it using her unlogic, but it is still unbelievably racist. In her attempts to justify her logic she bashes interfaith marriage too.
I will skip over the sexism, as it has been talked to death, and I could only do it justice by writing the entire book into this box.
The most baffling thing about this book is that it is mostly the mindless ramblings of an old woman who is impressed by things that most average people look at as normal. It's hard to hate her, but I manage. There is a kind of innocence in her pointless stories and observations that you can't help but chuckle a little. Everyday is an adventure for her.

There is one more thing I must say: If you look carefully, you can see the exact moment the editor stopped caring. I don't remember where it is, but I remember reading somewhat far into the book, saw a pretty decent typo (Not to be confused with the many typos already in the text), and realized that even the one responsible for this abomination couldn't be bothered to read the book thoroughly. Do with this information as you will.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 09 2014 at 9:53am

she is a twat
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