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Virgo Women Random Thoughts

 
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ModelessDiva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 1:48am

Sleepy


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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 9:37am
Friday Jan 24 2014

You may be full of emotions over an incident that happened recently, Virgo. You may be feeling the need to express these emotions in a volatile way because the feelings are burning you up inside. You need to vent. You need a release. But before you spill those emotions in the wrong setting or to the wrong person, get a hold of your feelings. Go over your thoughts rationally. Work through the idea of talking it out with the appropriate person - not just anyone. If you treat this issue logically, you will have good results.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GoodGirlGoneGr8 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 11:39am
I'm being passive aggressive right now, and I don't know how to fix it...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 11:52am
^^^ fully active aggression or assertive communication/boundaries. people are usually passive aggressive when they feel they've not been heard, acknowledged, validated or are being purposefully ignored. that sense of resentment, helplessness or lack of control is then avenged behind the scenes via passive aggressive action. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GoodGirlGoneGr8 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 1:58pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

^^^ fully active aggression or assertive communication/boundaries. people are usually passive aggressive when they feel they've not been heard, acknowledged, validated or are being purposefully ignored. that sense of resentment, helplessness or lack of control is then avenged behind the scenes via passive aggressive action. 


Welllllll, I'm actually the person doing the ignoring. I don't know how to tell this person no, so I haven't been answering their calls and texts. It's horrible, I know.

This person is a family member who's done a lot for me in the last year, and now I kinda feel indebted to help them whenever they ask...but now it's just becoming overkill. Like, enough already I've helped you and now she's wanting me to help her husband (who I don't like), her coworkers, and hairstylist.
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 2:14pm
^^^ feeling indebted to a person doesn't take away your right to say no. since you're mentioning that you don't know how to say no, consider first clarifying your appreciation, but put the boundary down by saying that you don't feel comfortable with with they're asking. however, that you wouldn't mind or would be ok with ____.  that way you've offered a solution and compromise. 

now, technically, you don't owe anyone an explanation for your no. it's your (everyone's) right to say no and the other person has to suck it up and deal.  i just find it works well with persons not comfortable saying no to have a "reason" until they get used to saying no. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote GoodGirlGoneGr8 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 7:04pm
Thanks Neka. I'm going to respond and acknowledge my late response. I'll help her this time, but I will have to let her know that this is the limit.

She's given my number out to her co-workers to ask me for help, and I think it's tacky. I need to address that as well.

It's sad because I've never asked her for anything. She offers...I accept, but there are always strings attached. I think I'm going to stop accepting her assistance altogether.
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 9:32pm
you're welcome, goodgirl. 

your plan of action sounds solid and should it come to the latter, it's definitely an option. you feel grateful to her, not her coworkers or anyone else she wants favors for. best of luck with it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 26 2014 at 2:08am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 26 2014 at 2:11am
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