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Trust Issues

 
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_leah View Drop Down
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    Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:02pm
So I've been seeing this guy, we are not official, but we have made it clear to each other that we are not dating or engaging in any type of intimate relationship outside of our own.

He's currently out of town on a job interview (yes I'm positive he really is there for an interview), left yesterday comes back tomorrow. He tells me tonight that his friend is coming to pick him up, take him to town and then they are going to crash at his hotel so they can go to a beach early in the AM.

Now I didn't ask if this "friend" was male or female, and when he sensed my hesitation he assures me that I have nothing to worry about and he is not and will not do anything to betray my trust while he's away, he went as far as to offer to get me a ticket there earlier today and asked me to call out of work so I could spend the day with him there.

The fact that I am still concerned about him and this "friend" does that mean I have trust issues?

Now he has NEVER given me a reason not to trust him, when we are together he pretty much gives me his undivided attention, he doesn't really get random texts, he doesn't get calls late at night. But still Confused


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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (11) Thanks(11)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:05pm
why arent you together?
You're expecting too much from an uncommitted man
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ImThatDiva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ImThatDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:06pm
I think you should be forthcoming and ask whether or not their friend is a male or female. If it is a female you should voice your feelings about this outing with him. It's best to be honest then to hold it in because this will only cause more issues further down the line when you become more serious. Learn to open up to each other now rather than later.
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ImThatDiva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ImThatDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:07pm
Also, you have to be clear on what your status is. Are you to exclusively dating? In a relationship? Just friends?
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_leah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _leah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:08pm
We aren't "official" and I mean that in terms of "boyfriend/girlfriend" terminology only because we have both been pretty hurt in the past and I guess both afraid of ruining a good thing.

ETA: We are definitely exclusively dating, are we in a relationship. I don't think so.


Edited by _leah - Nov 27 2012 at 10:08pm
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nala52808 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nala52808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:08pm
Not really. If I was in the same situation, the thought of him cheating would still linger in my mind. But I wouldn't get too nervous about it unless he's a nicca that can't be trusted.
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:13pm
Idk.

My best friend goes on trips with me and my two male cousins.
One of which she has a history with, but they are just friends now.But sometimes things get flirty.

We went on a trip this summer and her boyfriend got mad bc he thought something would happen.
It didn't but it made him uncomfortable that she was staying the weekend with two male friends.


I don't think it's necessarily trust issues though
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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:17pm
Originally posted by _leah _leah wrote:

We aren't "official" and I mean that in terms of "boyfriend/girlfriend" terminology only because we have both been pretty hurt in the past and I guess both afraid of ruining a good thing.

ETA: We are definitely exclusively dating, are we in a relationship. I don't think so.

I feel like this is an oxymoron...
and titles are just that...if you have feelings invested you run the risk of getting hurt, lables or not
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:18pm
i dont see it as trust issues per se. you don't know the man. you earn trust over time. it is not freely given bc of a title.
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_leah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _leah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 10:19pm
I mean I don't know what to call us then. Like if someone asked me if I was single I would say no I'm seeing someone but I wouldn't say I had a boyfriend. 
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