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BeatriceBean 
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 Topic: Tough Love vs. "Judgmental"
Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:23pm |
Why is it that you can't give anyone some tough love today without being stamped "judgmental" or "condescending"? I understand that there is a line and some things don't really need to be said, but why does it seem like real talk has to be dipped in caramel and wrapped in a bow? It's good to be someone's cheerleader but at a certain point, someone who cares should give it straight because they actually believe that this person can do better.
I'm just tired of seeing people (our people especially) continue to be coddled into either mediocrity or failure.
/End Rant
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Bunnyahh
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:30pm |
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examples so we can speak on it?
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Derri
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:33pm |
I stopped giving my SO tough love because he doesn't respond well to it.
I love tough love best.
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Random Thoughts
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:33pm |
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In the 313 thread someone said the posts were being judgmental.
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BeatriceBean
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:40pm |
 Bunnyahh wrote:
examples so we can speak on it? |
A 19-year-old young lady buys her boyfriend an X-box and games for Christmas. She is not in school, works at a grocery store, lives with mother, has no car, and her family has been on the brink of eviction several times.
Someone hops in and says, Girl you better save that money and let him buy his own X-box!
Girl, her mother, her sister blow up someone's phone all damn day talking about how judgmental this person is, telling her to mind her own damn business and let the girl live.
Just an example
Edited by BeatriceBean - Dec 21 2012 at 2:46pm
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jonesable
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:41pm |
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Wth
I blame her basic family.
Edited by jonesable - Dec 21 2012 at 2:42pm
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Flowing-Ice
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:42pm |
lmao... um that isn't judgmental. sounds like she comes from a family which encourages her messed up priorities.
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alynxx
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:49pm |
Sometimes I love BHM so much! 
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beebeexx
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:54pm |
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criticizing the message is the easiest way to avoid having to accept it or look critically at your own situation.
but sometimes people do try to pass of being judgey as "tough love" or "keeping it real"
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SoutherNtellect
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Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 2:56pm |
depends on the person i dont respond to tough love. i'll shut down and respond with equal or worse bluntness 9 times out of 10 the person knows what they need to do, ur tough love or coddling wont make a difference
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