Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Tough Love On Social Media
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

Tough Love On Social Media

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Bootiful Cream



Author
Bored w/Out Me? View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Apr 15 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 96883
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bored w/Out Me? Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Tough Love On Social Media
    Posted: May 11 2012 at 1:34pm
 

Tough Love On Social Media: ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s Old School Parenting in the New Millennium

 
Post image for Tough Love On Social Media: ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s Old School Parenting in the New Millennium
 
 

By ReShonda Tate Billingsley

I’m a good parent. Not a great parent. Not a perfect parent, but I do my best to train up my three children (ages 12, nine and five) so that they can become productive members of society. Doing that requires a desire to be their mama, not their friend, and the diligent, on-going effort to get all up in their business.

For all you new-age parents who say I’m violating my daughter’s privacy, you might want to stop reading now, because I’m really about to piss you off.  In my house, the only people that are due any privacy are me and my husband. I make it clear that when they get their own place and pay their own bills, then and only then will I respect their privacy.

Which is why I recently did what I do nightly–pulled up my oldest daughter’s Instagram account to check it. (In case you don’t know, Instagram is a social media picture-sharing website for teens and tweens). We talked extensively about proper etiquette in the cyber world. So imagine my surprise when I see my bright, intelligent child smiling as she held up a bottle of Vodka with the caption ‘Wish I could drink this Vodka.’ Before you do-righters chastise me for her having the liquor, she got it out of my husband’s bar to take the photo because she thought “it was cute.” She knew better but did it anyway and “didn’t see anything wrong” because she “wasn’t drinking, just posing.”

She had been warned against acting up on social media countless times but obviously,  it wasn’t getting through. So I took it to her level, implementing my motto of “Get tore out where you show out.”  I made her hold up a sign saying, “Since I want to take pics holding liquor, I am obviously NOT ready for social media and will be taking a hiatus until I learn what is and isn’t appropriate to post. Bye-Bye :( ”  I made her post  the picture to Instagram and I put it on my Facebook page as a warning to other parents to monitor their kids.

I never expected that photo or my choice of discipline to go viral. But with over 10,000 shares in just a few hours, that’s just what happened. I heard from parents that, to my surprise, had never looked at their child’s social media accounts, parents who were too afraid to publicly embarrass their kids, yet were at wit’s end on what to do with them, and parents who had never even heard of Instagram, yet found out their child had an account. Ninety-seven percent of the feedback was positive.  The other three percent  did everything from call me a ‘parental bully’ to tell me my child would ‘commit suicide’ to telling me I ‘sucked as a parent.’ Usually, that kind of stuff bothers me.

But not this time.

When it comes to my kids, I don’t play. This is a new age. We have to meet kids where they are.  Punish her by taking away her phone? Did that last week. Make her write an essay? She loves writing so that would be a thrill. Ban TV? She loves to read so that’s no big deal. Talking? Sure, but my talking obviously wasn’t sticking. So, since she showed out on line, she was punished on line. My daughter actually begged for a spanking instead, which she would’ve taken, gotten over in no time, and not realized the seriousness of her actions. Now, if and when she ever gets back on social media, she’ll think long and hard before posting anything crazy.

Some said the public humiliation would have long-term effects, that she would hate me forever for this. You have to know your child. I wouldn’t do this on my middle child because I don’t think she can emotionally handle it. But this one, she’ll be just fine. Yes, I got the ‘you’re ruining my life’ rant, but after a few hours, she was trying to figure out how she can start an organization at her school to raise awareness about social media responsibility.  In fact, she said her friends weren’t talking about her. They were talking about her “crazy mama.” Call me crazy. If it means steering my child on the right path, that’s a badge of honor I’ll proudly wear. And to all the naysayers, talk all you want. I’d rather you talk about me now than talk about my child later.

ReShonda Tate Billiingsley is the national bestselling author of 25 books, including the upcoming The Mommy Chronicles, about raising kids in the new millennium. Visit her website at www.reshondatatebillinglsey.

Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
jonesable View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 12 2010
Location: SC
Status: Offline
Points: 290842
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 1:36pm
 In my house, the only people that are due any privacy are me and my husband. I make it clear that when they get their own place and pay their own bills, then and only then will I respect their privacy.

MAMA is that you ?
My ma always said this
Back to Top
gabi03 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 21 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 20065
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gabi03 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 1:59pm
I'm so glad the social media boom came after I left home, it was bad enough my mom scanned my emails and aim chats...she saw something she didn't like in an email once and I got the tounge lashing of a lifetime.
Back to Top
dejee View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 12 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 16119
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dejee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 2:05pm
LOL @ the girl crying in the pic
Back to Top
ceme View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 21 2007
Location: In your Azz
Status: Offline
Points: 9267
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote ceme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 2:17pm

LOL

She wasn't crying while holding that Vodka bottleLOL
Back to Top
NARSAddict View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 20 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 31647
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote NARSAddict Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 2:20pm
Not mad at her at all.
Back to Top
maysay1 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 02 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 97487
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 2:22pm
Love it love it love it.


Back to Top
IslandSuga View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 30 2005
Location: NoMan'sLand, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 30250
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote IslandSuga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 2:26pm
i'm not a parent but i 100% agree to how she chose to discipline her child. for the child to rather take a spanking then be embarrassed she knows damn well she would never live it down. oh well. parents have to be creative nowadays.
Back to Top
Bunnyahh View Drop Down
Guest Group
Guest Group
Avatar

Joined: Aug 14 2009
Location: ♥ Cloud 9 ♥
Status: Offline
Points: 162051
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Bunnyahh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 2:27pm
liquor is not allowed in my house

Edited by Bunnyahh - May 11 2012 at 2:29pm
Back to Top
tbaby123 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 21 2008
Location: Bossttonn
Status: Offline
Points: 11191
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote tbaby123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2012 at 2:41pm
my father listened in my conversation once when i was gossiping to my friends in high school... 

the tongue lashing i got in front of my friends... since then, i always think twice before gossiping
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Little Black Scarf
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down