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Forgiveness?

 
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Az~Maverick View Drop Down
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    Posted: May 09 2014 at 6:13pm
I don't know about all this forgiving stuff. Some people and situations are just plain unforgivable.

I feel like constantly expecting people to instantly forgive the most horrible fucckery is taking away from who we are: Human beings with human emotions. My take is this, as long as I'm in this human body for however long on this plain of existence, it is my right to get angry, hate, even to not forgive someone for what they do and not have them in my life.

Now am I supposed to let my feelings about the said person or situation affect and control my life 24/7/365? No. I gotta live after all and do ME, but everyone should have the right, as human and not robots, to be able to feel resentment in one way or another without wanting to take a life.
 


Edited by Az~Maverick - May 09 2014 at 6:22pm
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indiecat View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote indiecat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2014 at 1:24pm
I actually forgive people for their own sake at times. I remember forgiving my ex roommate because she was pregnant and didn't need the stress. I tend to be too forgiving, but I've been trying to change that. When I forgive, people see me as a doormat and continue the same kind of behavior. So, no, I will not forgive and that actually gives me a lot more peace, expressing my anger instead of being forced to forgive because it's the right thing to do. I need to express my anger for my own sanity.

If the situation involves cheating, no, not forgiving.
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have to let that hurt go, and the person
so yeah..

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2014 at 7:35am
The other day I told my mother and husband that we can't hate white people for what they've done and continue to do.
They spun around and clutched their pearls, gave me stank face, cut eye, the works.
We have to pity them. They've never been the same after realizing that they have no identity. They think it is a secret that they must conceal at all costs, or else....wait for it....they will shatter and break into a million pieces. The truth will literally and metaphorically kill them. To admit the truth is to completely shatter the illusion. What they do to us and the rest of the world is not because of us, but because of them.

Budda said that when a person hurts others it is because they are deeply hurt, and the hurt is spilling out. It is a cry.

I said to them, we don't have to hate them, the truth is stronger than anything else. When you know the truth, you spread the truth. An idea is contageous.

X said it. You can kill a man, but not an idea. He was soo right.

I know we weren't talking about race, but we're talking about hate and forgivenness..so

(Don't get me wrong, i still supprt separation, not segregation. I just don't feel the need to hate anyone for the things they do, since their hate has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with them)

Edited by Derri - May 09 2014 at 7:40am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2014 at 7:16am
One of my fav quotes: there is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.

I grew up in a home where my mother forgave easily, and my father held grudges for a lifetime. Guess which one is more at peace and at one with life?

I forgive before people even hurt me. All is forgiven, because I consciously choose who stays in my exeriences. I keep those who serve love (a lot of the time) We're human, sometimes we ignorantly offend. If we're ignorant, can we truly blame each other? It's those who consciously offend that I have a problem with, but then I feel pity for them instead of hate or anything else, because to know something will hurt someone, and you still do it indicates that something is seriously troubling you.


I used to hold grudges a lot, until I realized that most people live in their egos, where they serve only themselves. They can't even see me, let alone realize that they are me, and be good to me. But I do realize that, but have once lived in my ego too. And so I can't hate someone for not yet growing, i can only keep them in my positive thoughts..and help them to grow if/when they are ready.





Edited by Derri - May 09 2014 at 7:26am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2014 at 5:43am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

I also think trust is more about the individual themselves and not the person/people they trust in, but that's another discussion and maybe someone will read my mind and make the thread tomorrow. lol


lol

I don't get what you mean


  trust isn't all about whether you trust the person to always do right , but more do you trust yourself to be able to deal with it if they don't. 

are you going to make my thread? LOL


oh well I trust people will be assholes lol

what thread are you talking about? lol
yes this is true,

Trust is not always about good deeds, I trust people to be who they are ..

I trust a thief to be a thief, a ho to be a ho etc etc

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2014 at 5:40am
Originally posted by ThatGurlD ThatGurlD wrote:

Yes.  I had a really hard conversation with a friend and hung up on this point.  In summary, I received an award that she thought she should have gotten.  She talked about me behind my back, turned other people against me and avoided me until I confronted her.  She tearfully apologized, said it was just this place she was in and she felt she couldn't catch a break and no one was seeing her potential on and on but that she never meant to hurt me but that she was hurt by my selection.  I told her that I accepted her apology but that even if I felt ALL those things, I would NEVER do that to her and I didn't want anyone in my life who could justify treating me that way.  She CRIED.  I listened and expressed that I'm simply beyond a point in my life where I need to "keep my enemies close and watch my homies."  We hung up and aside from her "liking" a couple facebook posts haven't talked since.

You know what is good for you and what isn't.  A good friend will respect that and whether they respect it or not they have to accept it because it is what it is.  


99/100 this is what happens when people cry, all my friends are in a happy relationship why not me why am I not getting married.

One of my girlfriends said this to me the other day, that it's often people who check themselves against their friends and have moments where they feel better than their friends and thus are more deserving of accolade sang nice things etc etc

Off topic I know.

Edited by afrokock - May 09 2014 at 5:44am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2014 at 5:21am
I don't forgive. I'm not gonna lie and say I forgive cuz I still hold bitterness over sh*t that may have been years ago. But I'm alright with that. I still sleep peacefully at night lol


Edited by BBpants - May 09 2014 at 5:21am
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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2014 at 3:24am

see if that happened to me TG

I would not only tell the girl about herself and/or never speak to her again

I would block her (lol) and forever dislike her

I think the forever disliking her pert is where I go wrong.....you are supposed to just not care right?

how do you not care?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ThatGurlD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2014 at 11:25pm
Yes.  I had a really hard conversation with a friend and hung up on this point.  In summary, I received an award that she thought she should have gotten.  She talked about me behind my back, turned other people against me and avoided me until I confronted her.  She tearfully apologized, said it was just this place she was in and she felt she couldn't catch a break and no one was seeing her potential on and on but that she never meant to hurt me but that she was hurt by my selection.  I told her that I accepted her apology but that even if I felt ALL those things, I would NEVER do that to her and I didn't want anyone in my life who could justify treating me that way.  She CRIED.  I listened and expressed that I'm simply beyond a point in my life where I need to "keep my enemies close and watch my homies."  We hung up and aside from her "liking" a couple facebook posts haven't talked since.

You know what is good for you and what isn't.  A good friend will respect that and whether they respect it or not they have to accept it because it is what it is.  
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