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liesnalibis View Drop Down
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    Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 11:21pm
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

It's weird because I was just thinking about this the other day. A scene in a movie that made me wonder about this. If you know you can't fight or get away and believe it's inevitable you may give in even though he hasn't physically forced you or said he will. 

Actually there were two scenes like that in the movie. It was Original Sin. I'd call it an implied threat or implied force.



I remember watching a scene where they found out the Couple was cheating at cards and I think dude got his ass beat and Angelina had to...not fight.  I remember a group of men surrounding her then fade to black. That scene still messes with me.

Yeah that one of the scenes I'm talking about. The first guy said "Let's see what other tricks you know" and she just stood back against the table and let him take it.They didn't have to hit her or threaten her or overpower her to get her to comply. It was understood.

And what about that scene in 12 Years a Slave. I know that's much different because he'd obviously beaten and raped Patsey before but that night when he came to her she just looked down and got on the ground with him.

But those are obviously extreme examples. His behavior doesn't have to rise to that level to induce fear.
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newdiva1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 10:43pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

It's weird because I was just thinking about this the other day. A scene in a movie that made me wonder about this. If you know you can't fight or get away and believe it's inevitable you may give in even though he hasn't physically forced you or said he will. 

Actually there were two scenes like that in the movie. It was Original Sin. I'd call it an implied threat or implied force.



I remember watching a scene where they found out the Couple was cheating at cards and I think dude got his ass beat and Angelina had to...not fight.  I remember a group of men surrounding her then fade to black. That scene still messes with me.
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 10:41pm
I don't think so HD.

Like after an incident happened I was really fearful of men.
Maybe I'm looking at it too much from my own perspective.
I had a fear that was at that moment unsubstantiated .

My fear was real but that didn't mean those men were doing something untoward.

I even hated going to male professors office hours.

Edited by jonesable - Feb 23 2014 at 10:42pm
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ThatGurlD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThatGurlD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 10:33pm
To answer the OP, no.  Done it because saying yes was easier than saying no?  Yes.  Either way is effed up.  Be careful.  Be safe.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote HaitianDiva64 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 10:31pm
Jones i think you are looking at it from the eyes of the law, but just because law hasnt covered it does not mean it didn't happen.
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 10:22pm
I knew someone was gonna say they are different.
I know that .

The whole point is fear doesn't really mean something is going on.
I thought he may have raped me leaves a lot of wiggle room.
Like was something done or implied to prompt that fear or...

Edited by jonesable - Feb 23 2014 at 10:23pm
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liesnalibis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 10:14pm
What if the dude puts the condom on when you already told him no so you decide to do just it? That kinda fits the situation.

Edited by liesnalibis - Feb 23 2014 at 10:15pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote atexaschick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

I don't think some people understand what it feels like when you are in that situation. Sometimes you literally go into shock from fear and you just freeze up. The human mind is not prepared to deal with that type of trauma so everyone reacts in different ways. You might just think about surviving and comply because you don't know what type of physical harm this person can cause you and you aren't willing to find out. Most rapes aren't like the movies and SVU where the dude is waving a knife or throwing you all around the room. If you are trying to push a man off of you and he is holding your wrists or using his body weight against you then that is coercion. If a woman is really willing to have sex than there shouldn't be any resistance. Alot of women convince themselves that they willingly had sex with these guys because the reality that they were raped is harder to swallow and accept. So much comes with having to recover from such trauma. Denial helps some women to function until the PTSD hits, whether it be 1 month later or 10 years later and they have no choice but to deal with it. Saying  "NO" isn't the only sign to a man that you don't want to have sex either. They know. They just like to act like they don't.



yes, yes, yes...especially to the bolded. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 9:30pm
It depends on what said/implied/done to make you feel that fear but if "enough" (and I'm not using that term bc I don't understand your fear or bc I'm downplaying it) was said/done to make you feel that way, it most certainly would be considered a form of rape.  If you feel like your autonomy/choices are removed that can meet the threshold.  Very different from the SYG or cases where the girl was shot asking for help as sexual relations are an inherently intimate act where a woman would typically be unable to remove herself if confronted by an aggressor. 

I hope you're ok girl.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote naturesgift Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 8:10pm
OMG!!! This is Date RAPE! I didnt read the whole thing but NO means NO!
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