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Hi ladies! I need help

 
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    Posted: Dec 15 2013 at 5:02pm
i agree with the other ladies. you can only do but so much back and forth. each time people break it off and bring it back, you lose a little of your foundation each time.

enough is enough. i don't see anything wrong with telling him that you do not feel friends is the best bet and that you go your separate ways.  you have run your course, and its time to move on. and the contact will need to stop so you both can move on.

delete him from all of your social media and just remember to  take everything day by day.

good luck!
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Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 13 2013 at 5:05pm
Originally posted by EasterBell EasterBell wrote:


Stop stalking his social media or you are never going to be able to heal.. Don't send him any text.. Just cease contact and get busy doing other activities.. He is no longer your concern..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 13 2013 at 5:00pm
if I were u I would take a break from men.

I did that for a year. just focused on me and my daughter. and no lie I literally bumped into the guy one day.

the right man will come your way when you least suspect it.

sometimes when you stop looking for something that's when you will find it.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2013 at 9:56am
Originally posted by elle_honey elle_honey wrote:

Thanks for the advice ladies! It helps. I'm still going on his twitter which sucks bc I keep finding out stuff. I thought that since he always came back (3 years now) that he was sincere. I thought that if we worked on in apart things would be differently, but now I'm thinking I was always just a side/option girl for him. I FEEL SO STUPID FOR GIVING SO MUCH OF MYSELF TO SOMEONE WHO DOESNT/NEVER LOVED ME. It hurtsSo, based off this I feel like I should text him & tell him that I finally get that he was just trying to break up with me the cowardly way. But that won't help so I'm going cold turkey. I hope I can.


Your are misinterpreting things with this guy so that you can keep hope alive that things will work out. he fact that 'he keeps coming back' even after 3 years .. is not a positive indicator of the depths of your relationship. He should not be coming back .. at all.

He should either BE with you or be WITHOUT you period. But all this back forth business shows he is unstable and should not be trusted in terms of anything REAL. Of all the guys I have broken off with or that broke off from me ... do you know how many I got back together with? ZERO. Not one of them.

There is a REASON it breaks off with him and likely some lame reason you get back together again. Geesh what will happen if you get married? It will be a mess. Sorry but being a relationship has it’s ups and downs but it should not be THAT dag gone hard. If it is .. and has been so for all these years .. you are not meant to be together. So yes, you were probably the side girl.

In truth though .. would you even want to be the main girl for such a guy? As soon as you are gone .. he will replace you and the main girl is still laying up (not using protection) with a guy that she believes is hers … but he is just making a fool of out her too!

For all you know ALL his girls are side girls because he doesn’t have the capacity to commit to anyone. LOSER!

No sense beating yourself up over your mistakes. We’ve alllll made mistakes with men. Just see this as a lessoned learned so – do not repeat it. Do not write him and another flipping word to him! ( write him a letter just to get it out of your system and them burn it!)

No contact because he has DUMPED you! You've got to have some pride and dignity about yourself and writing him now AFTER he has dumped you ... basically says you are still trying to get his attention.

with the next guy:

-      Do not sleep with him for a good 2 – 3 months
       
-      Do not go fast in the relationship .. go slow, keep your options open by casually seeing other people
-      Do not let him know IN ANY WAY that you are crazy about him
-      Never give MORE of youself to guy than you are willing to lose
-      Do not change ANYTHING about your life once you start seeing him. So If every Sunday you do Salsa dancing and every Wedesday yo u have swimming lessons CONTINUE to do so. Don’t just drop everything because you have a guy in your life.
-     Do not let him turn you into a whore by accepting money – ever! Aside from a decent birthday and Xmas gift, flowers and candy are the only gifts I will accept from a man outside of marriage. Like my father told me .. once money is tied into a relationship (no matter what you are thinking) there comes an 'expectation' frpm the man ... that is the start of problems later. If the guy wants to 'take care of you' he will do it the right way by 'putting a ring on it'. Anything else .. is just hving fun ...
-     I could tell you more .. but you get the idea.

Take it easy with men. They can smell desparation/neediness so they will take advantege of you.


Edited by Printer_Ink - Dec 12 2013 at 10:26am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EasterBell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2013 at 8:20am
Stop stalking his social media or you are never going to be able to heal.. Don't send him any text.. Just cease contact and get busy doing other activities.. He is no longer your concern..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote elle_honey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2013 at 7:46am
Thanks for the advice ladies! It helps. I'm still going on his twitter which sucks bc I keep finding out stuff. I thought that since he always came back (3 years now) that he was sincere. I thought that if we worked on in apart things would be differently, but now I'm thinking I was always just a side/option girl for him. I FEEL SO STUPID FOR GIVING SO MUCH OF MYSELF TO SOMEONE WHO DOESNT/NEVER LOVED ME. It hurtsSo, based off this I feel like I should text him & tell him that I finally get that he was just trying to break up with me the cowardly way. But that won't help so I'm going cold turkey. I hope I can.

Edited by elle_honey - Dec 12 2013 at 7:50am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 9:42pm
Let that dude go....give him what he wants. To be single...sounds to me he don't really wanna try, but you do...But let that guy do him and u need to find urself or anotha before u get ur heart crushed for having ur hopes up high


Edited by Beauty620 - Dec 11 2013 at 9:43pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 5:08pm
my fiance wanted to break for financial reasons..he felt he wasn't giving me enuff..but I told him if we break its over..ain't no time out in a marriage..how we gonna make it....he called me soon as the sun came up sayin he won't ever ask me that again..

u suppose to compromise in relationships but know when to put your foot down or let it go. Your gutt feeling is telling u somethin u don't wanna hear but its right.

Edited by Twisted_Angel - Dec 11 2013 at 5:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 5:02pm
based on my experiences if a man lies to you in the past they will in the present...they just come up with better lies...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 5:00pm
I tried that lets be friends(lets have sex only) bs...it never works.. cuz face it sweetie that's what it always means.. then when he get into it with his next chic he can hit u up...hell Naw u ain't a back up chic.

my fiance wanted a break but not for that reason when u in a relationship you suppose to stick it through good or bad..how the hell u gon time out?

breaking up and gettin back together all the time isn't a good sign.

and why the hell he callin the shots.. what you say goes. jus like trina say "these Brothas b ACTIN up and these hoes b lettin em"

not callin u a ho at all sweetie but in the song shes basically sayin. why women give men so much power over them and other nonsense..

u deserve more than a sometimey man.

its your decision but it doesn't seem like he wants you. he's letting you.down gently...he don't need time or none of that bs..
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