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petiteone29 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Nobody else will want me...
    Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:24pm
Question:



If you were with someone and contracted an incurable std from them like Herpes 2 would you stay in the relationship even if its unhealthy because you don't want to be alone and you feel like no one else will want you because of your disease? 


Back story:

A girl I know found out she had herpes 2. She got it from her current boyfriend who (in my opinion) is no good. He doesn't have a steady job because of a criminal record, he leaves his son from a previous relationship with her while he parties and doesn't come home at night. He has been unfaithful before also. 

So anyways she says that they went for STD testing including HIV testing before they slept together and everything came back clean. Well apparently Herpes testing isn't done unless specifically requested. I guess they didn't request it. She finds out that she has herpes. He accuses her of cheating. He "finds out" he has it too. They don't know who gave it to who. One day she gets into an argument with his baby mama and the baby mama says " Thats why I gave him herpes"

He swears he had no idea he had it. (I don't believe him though)

She is now pregnant. He is still up to his old antics like dumping his son off on her, unstable employment, etc. She pays majority of the bills in the house and works 2 jobs and goes to school. I asked her why she deals with him. She said that she feels like if she leaves him no one else would want her because of her disease and she is scared of the reaction she might get when she discloses this info. So she figures since they both have it mind as well stick it out. And now there is a child involved.

I feel so bad for her because she really is a sweet girl. She has a good head on her shoulders but she was young and naive when she met him. He is 30 and she is 23. She doesn't want to be alone and feels like she has to settle.


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FarraFace View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:27pm
She needs to leave him and have an abortion.
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:29pm
i don't even have words for this. any of this. 

i'm chuffin' gobsmacked.
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GG View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:31pm
The problem is he doesn't really want her either. She's a baby sitter and a back up plan when he's bored with running around for the time being. There's drugs for her condition so with proper protection procedures and building trust she could definitely find someone else. The relationship will only continue to be strained once baby #2 arrives. This is definitely an abusive relationship but she's gonna have to gather her self esteem and want better for herself.

ETA: She's self sufficient so he's just a hard dick.

Edited by GG - Oct 30 2013 at 2:34pm
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BrownQtee View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:31pm
Yea...this is one of those instances where an abortion would be a good idea. And shes only 23? She has her whole life ahead of her..please encourage her to move on.
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petiteone29 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:36pm
Originally posted by GG GG wrote:

The problem is he doesn't really want her either. She's a baby sitter and a back up an when he's bored with running around for the time being. There's drugs for her condition so with proper protection procedures and building trust she could definitely find someone else. The relationship will only continue to be strained once baby #2 arrives. This is definitely an abusive relationship but he's gonna have to gather her self esteem and want better for herself.


Yeah I agree. She is taking her meds to prevent an outbreak especially so she won't have one around the time she gives birth. And it definitely is an abusive relationship. She thinks that she is being a good woman by taking care of his son. She does everything for that little boy. She definitely has some self esteem issues though.
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petiteone29 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:39pm
Originally posted by BrownQtee BrownQtee wrote:

Yea...this is one of those instances where an abortion would be a good idea. And shes only 23? She has her whole life ahead of her..please encourage her to move on.


She wants this baby so bad. She feels like this is her only chance to become a mom because no one else will want her. I told her before she got pregnant to not get pregnant and to focus on school. I told her that she was gonna be stuck at home with their kid and his kid while he out having fun.

And he also has 2 other kids that he doesn't even see. SMH
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liesnalibis View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:43pm
There are dating sites for people with diseases.

And I keep saying use condoms.
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FarraFace View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:43pm
Quote Nobody else will want me, so instead of being alone, just me, my Herpes and free time, I should have a baby.

Yes, me, my Herpes and a baby.


How in the hell....
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keepgrowing View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2013 at 2:46pm
She's not even with him to begin with.....
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