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whosbotheringme View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Dealing with death
    Posted: Feb 11 2013 at 9:22am
Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

Just listen to her. she may want to talk about her dad, she may not. it's ok either way. Similarly, she may or may not want to hear stuff about "how his soul is free" and stuff...just play it by ear.

If you feel like you need to do something other than listen. go over to her house (or her parents) and offer to do little things like clean up the house, cook and/or freeze meals or take care of errands, or babysit. draft an email to her professors and let them know what happened (very important!!!) those things usually slip thru the cracks and I bet would be extremely helpful.


 
Yes @ the red.  I hated those sort of platitudes when it was my time.  It doesn't make it better to hear about his better place now.  Just listen to her and tell her that if she needs anything, let you know.  Ask if she needs help with errands or anything.  For now it's enough and it will be appreciated.
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Ladybird0724 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2013 at 8:53am
Just listen to her. she may want to talk about her dad, she may not. it's ok either way. Similarly, she may or may not want to hear stuff about "how his soul is free" and stuff...just play it by ear.

If you feel like you need to do something other than listen. go over to her house (or her parents) and offer to do little things like clean up the house, cook and/or freeze meals or take care of errands, or babysit. draft an email to her professors and let them know what happened (very important!!!) those things usually slip thru the cracks and I bet would be extremely helpful.


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Prazol60 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2013 at 8:19am
Just calling and talking is a great help. Check in on her and ask her how she is doing for the next week weeks. If you can be at the funeral, go.
A fruit basket or flowers to for her is a good gift. There isn't much you can say.


Edited by Prazol60 - Feb 11 2013 at 8:20am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2013 at 6:42am
Thank you everyone who replied in this thread. My friend texted me today and told me she will only be going to one class today because she has a test. I'm trying my best to be there for her but, I don't know what to say, CryCryCry
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 11:33pm
Everyone deals with death differently. When my grandfather died, I didn't cry until I saw him at the funeral. I don't remember talking about it with my friends but I was glad that they gave me a shoulder to cry on and that's all I needed. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 11:24pm
There is a nice lady I met on the job.  I had to talk to her about her family.  When she started talking about her mom, her voice started cracking & tearing up.  Her mother is in hospice care &  can go any day now.  I started getting teary eyed, but she insisted that we continue. 
 
I plan to send her a condolence card & a fruit basket
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 11:08pm
My Dad died from a Brain aneurysm when I was 14y.o. Devastating, it gets easier but the pain is still there. Send Her a Card and just let Her know You are alwalys there to talk whenever She needs You...and maybe in about 6 months take her on a Spa Day and treat Her to a Massage.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 10:55pm
Listening is one of the greatest things.  Hugs and making meals because you forget to eat for up to weeks but I see you're far away.  Prayers and a listening ear.  One thing that's nice too is music.  If you know some comforting songs you could make a mixtape for her.  You sound like a great friend and I'm sure your love is enough.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 10:09pm
The last time I dealt with death was in 1999 when my grandma died. I'm not expert, but reassure her that her father is now free. He is no longer trapped inside his body and he is free and happy. And for her to honor the memories that he left her with and to just live life, because that is what he would have wanted for her. Death is not the end, but just the beginning of eternal life. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 9:53pm
i dont have any advice but i will keep them in my prayers. i cant imagine losing a parent.. *sigh* just let her talk for now. man... i dont know what to tell you...

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