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Tough Love vs. Judgmental

 
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khivey View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 22 2012 at 5:49am
Only three people in my life have given me tough love and I hold on tight to them. My father, aunt and the love of my life. Anyways...it really does depend on the delivery. If it is harsh, I may get real quiet and I just think on it and later on down the road I realize that is how I needed to hear it. When it is delivered with a soft touch..it doesn't have the same effect as the harsher one. I prefer it harshLOL

I give it to my niece all of the time and there was a time I thought she despised me...she didn't really f* with me too much..but then we got back close again and one day out of the blue she made me tear up with an email she sent thanking me for giving it to her real all those times and how she appreciates it.

That girl will come around and thank that person one day when she realizes why said person told her what to do with that money. Sometimes people need to experience things for themselves and make mistakes too. At least you tried to help...if it is all love at the end of the day things will be all good again.


Edited by khivey - Dec 22 2012 at 11:02am
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lovelife View Drop Down
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it's in the delivery and what comes next.
i lost one of my best friends ever due to tough love Cry
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you can give tough love a soft touch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 9:44pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

Why is it that you can't give anyone some tough love today without being stamped "judgmental" or "condescending"? I understand that there is a line and some things don't really need to be said, but why does it seem like real talk has to be dipped in caramel and wrapped in a bow? It's good to be someone's cheerleader but at a certain point, someone who cares should give it straight because they actually believe that this person can do better.
 

I'm just tired of seeing people (our people especially) continue to be coddled into either mediocrity or failure.

 

/End Rant

*preach gif*
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Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

sound advice often sounds judgmental when youre not used to getting it.

This.

But people love to put the "mind your business" label on sound advice too. Anything to not have to inspect their own doings.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 3:07pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I don't mind tough love but who and how matters.

If I think my little sister is being dumb about her "bf" I just take her phone and other messaging devices and tell her she's being a thirsty trick and it ain't cute.

I was totally spazzing out yesterday she took all my ish and told me I'm gonna be a lonely with dry cooch.

We try to protect each other from basicness
LOL

yo...you need to quit. I tried to told you. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bunnyahh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 3:06pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

depends on the person
i dont respond to tough love. i'll shut down and respond with equal or worse bluntness
9 times out of 10 the person knows what they need to do, ur tough love or coddling wont make a difference
 
I disagree. 9 times out of 10 the person knows what they want to do, they know what they will do, but that doesn't mean that they know what they need to do. And just because that person is determined to do it doesn't mean that their friends and loved ones need to watch idly or turn their heads.
cs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 3:05pm
I'm familiar with that example.

BB, how was your party?


Edited by PurpleHaze - Dec 21 2012 at 3:07pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote BeatriceBean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 3:04pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

depends on the person
i dont respond to tough love. i'll shut down and respond with equal or worse bluntness
9 times out of 10 the person knows what they need to do, ur tough love or coddling wont make a difference
 
I disagree. 9 times out of 10 the person knows what they want to do, they know what they will do, but that doesn't mean that they know what they need to do. And just because that person is determined to do it doesn't mean that their friends and loved ones need to watch idly or turn their heads.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Bunnyahh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 3:03pm
Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

lmao... um that isn't judgmental. 
sounds like she comes from a family which encourages her messed up priorities. 
Lamp
 
 
and the more ppl wanna ignore what's hurting them, the more that they prove that professor right.  blks don't do well cuz we as Lino says
 
 "They have a culture that seems not to encourage achievement," he said. "Failure is not looked upon with disgrace."
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