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CamiK View Drop Down
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    Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:39pm
Jaye I was just about to say you are a dumb trick for making him ur husband!!! LMAO!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote honeyb87 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:34pm
Originally posted by AffirmativeBunny AffirmativeBunny wrote:

Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Ooh man, I think I'll contribute.
............................Bad idea. I tell you, I had so much gas in me and was shifting around changing position, the final time I moved my chair, out escaped a "PFFFRT!" I tooted! It was the kind of fart that raises in pitch at the end like your ass is asking a question, smh........................
 
MIDNA WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?
 
CryLOLCryLOLCryLOL


I laughed so hard at that LOLCryLOLCryLOLCryLOLCryLOL
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Damn jaye.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AffirmativeBunny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 6:08pm
Originally posted by JayeBaby JayeBaby wrote:

I have so many but... This is easily the most horrifyingly humiliating situation I have ever been a part of. I'm pretty sure I've already posted this somewhere on this site.

My husband(then BF) used to have a roommate who we'll call Megan. Megan and I really hit it off when we met. It wasn't the ideal situation but... was what it was.

I bought my husband(then BF) an iPhone for his birthday that year. And his phone had a habit of pocket dialing the last person he spoke to. Since we spoke on the phone all the time, the person it called was often me.

Christmas time rolls around and I beg him to get a Christmas tree. Megan didn't want to be bothered with getting a tree. However, when DH and I went to get the tree, Megan insisted she tag along since the apartment was half hers. We went looking for the tree and it was the Megan show. I was bummed because she didn't even WANT the tree. She was just there because of the principle of the matter. But we end up getting the tree SHE wanted and picking the colors SHE liked. I was pissed... But I didn't say anything because it wasn't my place. It's her house too. Gotta suck it up. I was irrationally irritated, not stupid enough to make a deal about it.

Christmas time came and went. This is the world's longest story to tell so I'm really trying to condense it.

A few weeks later, my voicemail box was full so I decided to check my voicemails. I happen to be one of those super irritating people who never listen to their voice messages. So i was deleting most of them without even listening to the message. But whenever I heard a message from DH, I would stop and listen. One of the messages was odd. It was clearly a pocket dial. I was just about to press the delete button when I heard it. Megan's voice. I immediately recognize her sickeningly over-flirtatious twang.

Automatically I was on edge and listening to every word. Call me jealous. Whatever. I couldn't hear much but this is pretty much what I could make out:

(Megan and DH giggling. Keys rustling. Sounds like they just entered the apartment)

Megan: "I hate that tree"

DH: "Me too"

(More rustling. Then you hear the squeezing sound people make when giving someone else a big hug)

DH: "hi"
Megan: "hi"

(more giggling like some lovesick schoolchildren)

Megan: "Let's go to the bedroom!"

(Now we hear sounds of more giggling and what I guess are walking sounds. I assume they reach the bedroom.)

DH: "Who said you could lay on my bed?"
Megan: "I did."
DH: "Good idea!"

(The next few seconds were hard to understand. At some point her cat enters the room and I assume the cat starts rubbing on Megan or wanting attention by what happens next. Let's call the cat Coco)

DH: "Coco, stop flirting with my girlfriend! You can't have her, she's mine!"

(At this point they proceed to do more talking that I can't quite make out. I can just hear a few words and
her annoying laugh. She seriously has the most annoying voice in the world)

End of call.

I am heartbroken. And livid. I could not believe he would do that to me. I call him up immediately and scream "Have you ever in life called Megan your girlfriend?!!!!!!" He says no. I hang up. I  listen to the message over and over and over. I listen to it with my left ear. I listen to it with my right ear. I listen to it on speaker. I listen to it at high volume. I listen to it at low volume. They all confirm the same thing. DH sucks.

I try and see if there is any way I could be overreacting. No... She was on his BED. She was clearly coming on to him. And he LET her. I was sick to my stomach over it. I wouldn't let myself cry. He wasn't worth it. I wanted to punch him and throw him in traffic and ask him WHY all at the same time.

I called him to end it.

He told me what all guys say. He didn't know what I was talking about. I was paranoid. He loved me. He'd never hurt me.

I told him I had proof. I told him that I knew Megan was on his bed. I knew he flirted with her. I knew he called her his girlfriend. I told him he pocket dialed me and I had it all on tape. He said that if he could listen to the message he could explain it. Of course he could. Typical. I told him that what hurt the most was that I thought he was at least man enough to own up to it.

I hung up on him again. And then I got pissed. My husband is a very busy man and some weeks WE barely have time to see each other. When did he have time to have romantic interludes with this girl??! I listened to the time on the message. 1:50 pm. Where the eff was I at 1:50 this day??! I check my texts to see what excuse he gave me as to where he was at this time. I only had 2 texts from him that day. One at 12:33 pm and another at 11:58 pm. Wtf? He's with this girl all day and only texts me TWICE? I begin to read the messages. The 12:33 message reads "I'm outside" and the 11:58 message reads "Goodnight". Wait... What? It almost sounds like we were together that day! But that can't be! I begin to think REALLY hard about it. I worked from 6 am to noon on the day in question. DH picked me up from work on the day in question. I think even harder.... Wait... Megan was on a cruise to the Bahamas on the day in question. Which means.... Oh sh*t.

The girl with the annoying voice was me. :(

He pocket dialed me WHILE he was with me.

I was the one who hated the Christmas tree.

I was the one giggling like a school girl.

And I was the one who had to make the worlds most embarrassing call explaining the whole situation to DH. :(

He's so great. He laughed and said he knew it would work itself out because nothing like that had ever happened. He was annoyed by it but really was good natured. However, to this day he still jokes about the day he cheated on me with... me. Lol.

I keep inventing new ways to humiliate myself. :)
 
SHEER AWESOMENESS!!!
ClapClapClap
 
You've made my day with this story!
I was reading and thinking WOOOOW I wonder how he got out of that one.... THEN when you said it was you I was like ShockedConfusedLOL
I can only imagine how embarassed you were when you realised.
Good thing you didn't confront her and spoke to him instead.
 
 
THANK  YOU, I enjoyed that! LOLLOLLOL


Edited by AffirmativeBunny - Nov 25 2012 at 6:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 5:39pm
Holding his breath....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 3:44pm
This happened on Black Friday CryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCryCry


I was at the Apple store at the mall trying to see if I could fix my phone and whatnot. I was sitting on one of those chairs they place by all those counters because one of the workers said someone would be with me shortly. Well my butt wasn't really on the chair, my thighs were. My butt was kinda dangling in the air. I guess all that freedom was too much for my ass to handle because I let out an audible fart :( It was loud in there so I only saw one Asian dude chuckling BUT then the heaux azz worker decides to make his way over to me right then and there. 

I could tell he was holding his breath CryCryCryCryCryCry


Edited by femmemichelle - Nov 25 2012 at 3:44pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 3:25pm
Originally posted by JayeBaby JayeBaby wrote:

DeadLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 3:24pm
@JayeBaby: I knew it was you at Megan: "I hate that tree."

Why would Megan say she hates the tree she picked?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 2:08pm
^^^^^I did the samething also to an ex o mine. I didnt know I sound Puerto Rican over the phone....and I'm African.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote JayeBaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 1:56pm
I have so many but... This is easily the most horrifyingly humiliating situation I have ever been a part of. I'm pretty sure I've already posted this somewhere on this site.

My husband(then BF) used to have a roommate who we'll call Megan. Megan and I really hit it off when we met. It wasn't the ideal situation but... was what it was.

I bought my husband(then BF) an iPhone for his birthday that year. And his phone had a habit of pocket dialing the last person he spoke to. Since we spoke on the phone all the time, the person it called was often me.

Christmas time rolls around and I beg him to get a Christmas tree. Megan didn't want to be bothered with getting a tree. However, when DH and I went to get the tree, Megan insisted she tag along since the apartment was half hers. We went looking for the tree and it was the Megan show. I was bummed because she didn't even WANT the tree. She was just there because of the principle of the matter. But we end up getting the tree SHE wanted and picking the colors SHE liked. I was pissed... But I didn't say anything because it wasn't my place. It's her house too. Gotta suck it up. I was irrationally irritated, not stupid enough to make a deal about it.

Christmas time came and went. This is the world's longest story to tell so I'm really trying to condense it.

A few weeks later, my voicemail box was full so I decided to check my voicemails. I happen to be one of those super irritating people who never listen to their voice messages. So i was deleting most of them without even listening to the message. But whenever I heard a message from DH, I would stop and listen. One of the messages was odd. It was clearly a pocket dial. I was just about to press the delete button when I heard it. Megan's voice. I immediately recognize her sickeningly over-flirtatious twang.

Automatically I was on edge and listening to every word. Call me jealous. Whatever. I couldn't hear much but this is pretty much what I could make out:

(Megan and DH giggling. Keys rustling. Sounds like they just entered the apartment)

Megan: "I hate that tree"

DH: "Me too"

(More rustling. Then you hear the squeezing sound people make when giving someone else a big hug)

DH: "hi"
Megan: "hi"

(more giggling like some lovesick schoolchildren)

Megan: "Let's go to the bedroom!"

(Now we hear sounds of more giggling and what I guess are walking sounds. I assume they reach the bedroom.)

DH: "Who said you could lay on my bed?"
Megan: "I did."
DH: "Good idea!"

(The next few seconds were hard to understand. At some point her cat enters the room and I assume the cat starts rubbing on Megan or wanting attention by what happens next. Let's call the cat Coco)

DH: "Coco, stop flirting with my girlfriend! You can't have her, she's mine!"

(At this point they proceed to do more talking that I can't quite make out. I can just hear a few words and
her annoying laugh. She seriously has the most annoying voice in the world)

End of call.

I am heartbroken. And livid. I could not believe he would do that to me. I call him up immediately and scream "Have you ever in life called Megan your girlfriend?!!!!!!" He says no. I hang up. I  listen to the message over and over and over. I listen to it with my left ear. I listen to it with my right ear. I listen to it on speaker. I listen to it at high volume. I listen to it at low volume. They all confirm the same thing. DH sucks.

I try and see if there is any way I could be overreacting. No... She was on his BED. She was clearly coming on to him. And he LET her. I was sick to my stomach over it. I wouldn't let myself cry. He wasn't worth it. I wanted to punch him and throw him in traffic and ask him WHY all at the same time.

I called him to end it.

He told me what all guys say. He didn't know what I was talking about. I was paranoid. He loved me. He'd never hurt me.

I told him I had proof. I told him that I knew Megan was on his bed. I knew he flirted with her. I knew he called her his girlfriend. I told him he pocket dialed me and I had it all on tape. He said that if he could listen to the message he could explain it. Of course he could. Typical. I told him that what hurt the most was that I thought he was at least man enough to own up to it.

I hung up on him again. And then I got pissed. My husband is a very busy man and some weeks WE barely have time to see each other. When did he have time to have romantic interludes with this girl??! I listened to the time on the message. 1:50 pm. Where the eff was I at 1:50 this day??! I check my texts to see what excuse he gave me as to where he was at this time. I only had 2 texts from him that day. One at 12:33 pm and another at 11:58 pm. Wtf? He's with this girl all day and only texts me TWICE? I begin to read the messages. The 12:33 message reads "I'm outside" and the 11:58 message reads "Goodnight". Wait... What? It almost sounds like we were together that day! But that can't be! I begin to think REALLY hard about it. I worked from 6 am to noon on the day in question. DH picked me up from work on the day in question. I think even harder.... Wait... Megan was on a cruise to the Bahamas on the day in question. Which means.... Oh sh*t.

The girl with the annoying voice was me. :(

He pocket dialed me WHILE he was with me.

I was the one who hated the Christmas tree.

I was the one giggling like a school girl.

And I was the one who had to make the worlds most embarrassing call explaining the whole situation to DH. :(

He's so great. He laughed and said he knew it would work itself out because nothing like that had ever happened. He was annoyed by it but really was good natured. However, to this day he still jokes about the day he cheated on me with... me. Lol.

I keep inventing new ways to humiliate myself. :)
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