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Tips for a Forcefully Dependent Student

 
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:14pm
try to save as much money as you can.. for a rainy day.. just in case you need to leave immediately. 

keep job hunting.. 
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:15pm
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

IA with finding another place to live.  There is nothing like peace of mind. Mom is a vampire...she will continue to emotionally suck on Midna until she has nuffin' left. She sounds like the type that will sabotage her if she thinks she's tryna do better.  Fuccin' sh*t up so u can't have study dates or anything to do with school.  If you're at home and doing school stuff she will make sure u can't concentrate or keep u busy so u can't study.

Midna...don't tell your mother you're moving until folks are there carrying your boxes out to the truck.



I WON'T.

That is EXACTLY what she does! I don't tell my mother anything good in my life because she'll either find some way to make me feel like sh*t for it or find some way to impede me. Sometimes it's so bizarre too, she'll start being nice to sabotage me. I did that low carb diet thing and lost 16 pounds in a month and out of nowhere she's buying pizzas, candies, and donuts juuuuust for me and getting angry when I politely reject them. Huh? That's nothing, she has destroyed so much of my schoolwork, conveniently taken away my laptop when I'm studying for finals, and destroyed projects I've worked on. She'll even come into my room, tear it up, leave and yell at me 'for having a messy room.' She's incomprehensible. I think one of the most vindictive was when an employer called me with a job offer after successful interviews, pretended to be me, and insulted the employer and hung up the phone. I only found out a week after from calling the employer and having him tell me "what I said." I tried to tell him it wasn't me but I couldn't salvage the offer since the spot was already filled. She's a soap opera antagonist. Once I even found her hiding my mail and it was a couple of checks from an insurance company to pay for an accident I was not at fault for. I was PISSED.

The day I move out from this place, I think I'll pack my sh*t up overnight and leave by morning. And the only way she'll know I've moved out is a sign on my door saying "I've moved out. Goodbye." followed by an empty room.


Edited by Midna - Apr 17 2014 at 11:17pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote OhMyCurlz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:24pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

I am going through the same thing. The EXACT same thing. I chose to just leave the house. I couldn't. 

Do you think you can afford a 1 bedroom apt in your area? Do you have credit (sorry to ask)? Getting in an apt can happen in a day as long as you have your ducks in a row. Have you rented before? I wouldn't be in that house any longer if I were you...or I would at least make PLANS to leave. You never want to get into an argument and she's telling you to get out of her house threatening to call the police (even though she tech can't immediately evict you she can make life harder for you). 


I do have credit.. but I've now put it off to a bad start.

I maxed my credit card out because she couldn't handle my dad helping me so she told me not to ask him for help and she'll pay.

Then the time to pay comes and she doesn't have money. I need my classes so I paid by credit and now I'm just slowly chipping away at the debt.
OMG it's CRAZY how much I was in a similar situation. I feel like I'm talking to myself 3 months ago. I'm so sorry you are going through this. There is nothing more hurtful than your mom WANTING you not to succeed. Doing everything in their power to make it harder for you. Cry

Do you think that you should just take it slow with your schooling? My class is graduating in May....I HATE that I am "behind" but the reality is that taking it slow is best so you DONT get overwhelmed and in debt. This is your LIFE, school is about 4 years out of your life. For us, when we aren't in school it feels like we are wasting our lives away. It's depressing and infuriating, but you have to think smart. 

You need time to get yourself together. The worse mistakes are the ones made in desperation. 

Go look for an apt, you probably know this but most want you to make 3 times the rent, they will check your credit...most will approve you if you have SOME credit with conditions...that may be a larger deposit or higher rent. You are 22, the last person you lived with was your mom. Most places want to know that you will pay rent on time. If you haven't lived anywhere but your moms house, ask SOMEBODY who wont screw you over to be your "land lord". A grandma is best. That's important because if you are just a "student" without any rental history they are going to want you to have a cosigner (ie: your momma). I hate to say it, but I found out the hard way that the system doesn't really help those who are 'in the middle' or a rock and a hard place and when you are trying to get out of a sh*tty situation, not everyone sympathizes. 




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mizzsandra00 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:24pm
Im petty Id be throwing her important shyt in a thrash daily.......wallet car keys bills favorite blouse.......little by little....make her think she's crazy....play dumb......
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:29pm
id be the same way sandra… except i wouldnt play dumb for half of it. 

ive broke her shiit in front of her. important shiit. 

i couldnt... 
im a fighter. call it disrespectful if you want.  


Edited by coconess - Apr 17 2014 at 11:29pm
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JamCaygirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote JamCaygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:29pm
Midna are there any friends, coworkers, associates you know who might be willing to help you out until you get on your feet?

Is joining the military an option?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote OhMyCurlz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:33pm
My mom threatened to tell the police I was involved in a prostitution ring and was selling drugs. 

She poured cooking oil on my clothes threw my supplies away, she's done horrible things. 

I dont have the desire to fight with crazy. Crazy never gets tired of fighting...I just left and gave it to God.


Edited by OhMyCurlz - Apr 17 2014 at 11:34pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:36pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Midna this is a lesson learned.....If you gotta move into a shoe box and sleep on an air mattress.....it will be so comfortable because its yours and you can do as you please.....trust me.....




yup.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JamCaygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:42pm
Crazy people really cant be helped, even had me doubting my own sanity, like am I crazy? is this normal?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 17 2014 at 11:42pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

IA with finding another place to live.  There is nothing like peace of mind. Mom is a vampire...she will continue to emotionally suck on Midna until she has nuffin' left. She sounds like the type that will sabotage her if she thinks she's tryna do better.  Fuccin' sh*t up so u can't have study dates or anything to do with school.  If you're at home and doing school stuff she will make sure u can't concentrate or keep u busy so u can't study.

Midna...don't tell your mother you're moving until folks are there carrying your boxes out to the truck.



I WON'T.

That is EXACTLY what she does! I don't tell my mother anything good in my life because she'll either find some way to make me feel like sh*t for it or find some way to impede me. Sometimes it's so bizarre too, she'll start being nice to sabotage me. I did that low carb diet thing and lost 16 pounds in a month and out of nowhere she's buying pizzas, candies, and donuts juuuuust for me and getting angry when I politely reject them. Huh? That's nothing, she has destroyed so much of my schoolwork, conveniently taken away my laptop when I'm studying for finals, and destroyed projects I've worked on. She'll even come into my room, tear it up, leave and yell at me 'for having a messy room.' She's incomprehensible. I think one of the most vindictive was when an employer called me with a job offer after successful interviews, pretended to be me, and insulted the employer and hung up the phone. I only found out a week after from calling the employer and having him tell me "what I said." I tried to tell him it wasn't me but I couldn't salvage the offer since the spot was already filled. She's a soap opera antagonist. Once I even found her hiding my mail and it was a couple of checks from an insurance company to pay for an accident I was not at fault for. I was PISSED.

The day I move out from this place, I think I'll pack my sh*t up overnight and leave by morning. And the only way she'll know I've moved out is a sign on my door saying "I've moved out. Goodbye." followed by an empty room.




start packing sh*t on the low if u can. pack sh*t and hide the boxes...preferably over a comrade's house.  it's gone be trouble if she even get's a wif of u tryna get the fucc out.  U gotta do this like you're leaving an abusive relationship with a man.  do u have anyone who would be willing to hold your boxes until u move? 

i'm mad I don't live in the same city as u.  U would be coming the fucc over to my house.


Edited by newdiva1 - Apr 17 2014 at 11:43pm
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