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AwesomeAries View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (11) Thanks(11)   Quote AwesomeAries Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 2:32pm
BHM WILL LEAVE YOU BROKE, BALLHEAD AND BY YOUR DAMN SELF
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Unpopular opinion ahead...

I say this as someone who has lupus and also has the sickle cell trait.

-It's selfish to consider pregnancy when there's a high chance you could leave your child motherless and its father partnerless.

-Surrogacy and/or adoption may be better options so start saving your money now.

-Extremely selfish to consider having a biological child with someone who also has the trait.

-(Really unpopular opinion...you really shouldn't be considering kids at all, ever.)

Altogether
though, I think you're absolutely right to have the discussion now as
opposed to later. I personally let dudes know about lupus and the trait
in the first few conversations, and it's never been weird so you may
want to try that from now on so you don't end up in one of these
situations again.

But yeah, it sucks. Life is unfair. But I wish you continued good health and happiness. And enjoy your thanksgiving.
based on your reasoning she should resign herself to celibacy and die holed up in her home because either way child or no child she's going to leave someone partner-less right?

I like how you tried to soften your blow to wards the end ..
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afrokock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 2:44pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by bindy bindy wrote:

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:



should someone with high blood pressure and a family history of heart disease have children?



unfair comparison......There are things that one can
do to avoid/lower the risk of high blood pressure and heart
disease.....SS on the other hand can not be avoided if you are born with
it.....


still a chance that you can have a heart attack

anyway I didn't say it was a direct comparison, it was a question
lol

doc yes you can,

because hi bp and heart disease are lifestyle illnesses and they are very manageable with the right kind of meds and exercise and diet

besides, they are more likely to affect you in later life unless you are obese of course



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ModelessDiva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 2:50pm
Girl wait, you are 20 years old??
 
discussing chillren?
I appreciate and respect your line of thinking but I think its wayyy too early to be worried about children.
 
This is you time.
Just my honest opinion.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote tropical-punch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 2:58pm
don't see why you should throw in the towel.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Up&Out39 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 3:11pm
LOL! Yeah, I'm 20. We aren't discussing children in that sense. We're not on that level yet AT ALL.

But see that's where youre wrong. If I want children someday and my only option is surrogacy or adoption, then I need to start saving up and thinking about the consequences NOW. Shiiiiiiet, those things cost thousands of dollars. 
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ModelessDiva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 3:31pm
Originally posted by Up&Out39 Up&Out39 wrote:

LOL! Yeah, I'm 20. We aren't discussing children in that sense. We're not on that level yet AT ALL.

But see that's where youre wrong. If I want children someday and my only option is surrogacy or adoption, then I need to start saving up and thinking about the consequences NOW. Shiiiiiiet, those things cost thousands of dollars. 

 
 
lol I just turned 21 so I get it.... 
 
You have good intentions, but I still think at our age there are other things to be focused on and saving up for besides children. We are still children ourselves.
 
There's absolutely nothing wrong with planning but I think this is a wee bit premature...maybe start saving and planning around 25 ish? Not only will you be making more money and have more to save in plans of children, you will have more life experience.
 
but hey, I have high respect for you, not many people take out the time to plan children anymore. they just pop em' out and hope for the best
 
so I send a kudos your way
 
just don't forget to live in the moment, while you're busy planning for the futureWink
 
 
 
 


Edited by ModelessDiva - Nov 18 2013 at 3:44pm
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AmiliaCabral View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmiliaCabral Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 4:17pm
this is a tough titty OP and I get where you're coming from
  
Till you make a decision enjoy life Hug


Edited by AmiliaCabral - Nov 18 2013 at 4:37pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 5:13pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

 
lol I just turned 21 so I get it.... 
 
You have good intentions, but I still think at our age there are other things to be focused on and saving up for besides children. We are still children ourselves.
 
There's absolutely nothing wrong with planning but I think this is a wee bit premature...maybe start saving and planning around 25 ish? Not only will you be making more money and have more to save in plans of children, you will have more life experience.

 
 
 
 


It's never too early to start saving up for your goals, whatever they are. And in her case, she does have to think ahead. But even if she doesn't end up using the money for surrogacy/adoption, she can use it for anything else. Pregnancy and child rearing might make her sick enough that she can't work and she can use the money then.

The point of saving is to have options, regardless of what you're saving for. Especially when you have a health issue than can turn super serious and expensive.
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DiorShowGirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiorShowGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 5:37pm
@wonderland..cause she posted this wee early in the morning when i was up and i responded..anymore questions????????????????????????????????????????


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 5:47pm
Originally posted by DiorShowGirl DiorShowGirl wrote:

@wonderland..cause she posted this wee early in the morning when i was up and i responded..anymore questions????????????????????????????????????????




Uh ok...your post was directly beneath hers but clearly you're confused by the question so, cool, bye.
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