I am definitely going to have a talk with him. I actually want his input. And I will be talking to my doctor as well for options of child bearing. Maybe I would just have to adopt or idk. I read online somewhere that after 3 weeks of being pregnant, they can go in and see if your child has SS. And if they do, you can terminate the pregnancy. But that would weigh so much on me finding out I was pregnant someday, get super excited and then have to kill it. No ma'am
I remember my doctor telling me at 16 years old that I should find a partner in my life who doesn't have the trait at all. I didn't take what she said seriously, until now, 4 years later now when I am looking at relationships differently. I'm looking at them in the future sense. But I am no way going to have the first question I ask to every guy I meet to be, "Hey, do you have the sickle cell trait?" Nope nope nopeee. I want love to happen naturally. That's just me.
So far this is the first guy that I've came across to feel comfortable to tell about my disease. And when I told him, he understood. He gets me in every which way. He's amazing. But then part of me feels selfish as hell if i stuck with him, had a future, had kids and put my children through what I went through (and still going through now).
I was so upset with my parents for a good amount of time. Almost everytime I was put in the hospital, I would ask them, "Why would you do this to me? Knowing you both had the trait. Why would you have me and put me through this?" Mind you, this was when I was in extreme pain, and I lash out when I'm in my bad pain stages. The reason I was mostly upset was because my parents never loved each other. Theyre nigerian and back then, it was the norm to just get married for the sake of being married. They are divorced now. I always told myself, it would have been worth it if they at least had love for each other. So I'm kind of using that as an "excuse" to say that what me and my guy have right now is okay and to not let go because it is real...maybe my kids will understand.
OK, let me stop. I don't even know if me and him will even last. Sorry for rant. But yes, talking to him and my doctor is my plan.