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DiorShowGirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote DiorShowGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 12:48am
you both should really and truly should sit down and discuss your relationship and this disease of how it will affect you both..

both of you need to be on the same exact page and take it from there


so sorry to read...will keep u in my thoughts/prayers..Hug
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 12:48am

I don't know very much about sickle cell disease nor how difficult it is to manage but I agree with ms_w that you should be applauded for thinking ahead and thinking ahead right at the beginning


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote Up&Out39 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 1:17am
Thanks ladies Heart

I am definitely going to have a talk with him. I actually want his input. And I will be talking to my doctor as well for options of child bearing. Maybe I would just have to adopt or idk. I read online somewhere that after 3 weeks of being pregnant, they can go in and see if your child has SS. And if they do, you can terminate the pregnancy. But that would weigh so much on me finding out I was pregnant someday, get super excited and then have to kill it. No ma'am

I remember my doctor telling me at 16 years old that I should find a partner in my life who doesn't have the trait at all. I didn't take what she said seriously, until now, 4 years later now when I am looking at relationships differently. I'm looking at them in the future sense. But I am no way going to have the first question I ask to every guy I meet to be, "Hey, do you have the sickle cell trait?" Nope nope nopeee. I want love to happen naturally. That's just me. 

So far this is the first guy that I've came across to feel comfortable to tell about my disease. And when I told him, he understood. He gets me in every which way. He's amazing. But then part of me feels selfish as hell if i stuck with him, had a future, had kids and put my children through what I went through (and still going through now).

I was so upset with my parents for a good amount of time. Almost everytime I was put in the hospital, I would ask them, "Why would you do this to me? Knowing you both had the trait. Why would you have me and put me through this?" Mind you, this was when I was in extreme pain, and I lash out when I'm in my bad pain stages. The reason I was mostly upset was because my parents never loved each other. Theyre nigerian and back then, it was the norm to just get married for the sake of being married. They are divorced now. I always told myself, it would have been worth it if they at least had love for each other. So I'm kind of using that as an "excuse" to say that what me and my guy have right now is okay and to not let go because it is real...maybe my kids will understand.

OK, let me stop. I don't even know if me and him will even last. Sorry for rant. But yes, talking to him and my doctor is my plan. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote DiorShowGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 1:25am
Originally posted by Up&Out39 Up&Out39 wrote:

Thanks ladies Heart

I am definitely going to have a talk with him. I actually want his input. And I will be talking to my doctor as well for options of child bearing. Maybe I would just have to adopt or idk. I read online somewhere that after 3 weeks of being pregnant, they can go in and see if your child has SS. And if they do, you can terminate the pregnancy. But that would weigh so much on me finding out I was pregnant someday, get super excited and then have to kill it. No ma'am

I remember my doctor telling me at 16 years old that I should find a partner in my life who doesn't have the trait at all. I didn't take what she said seriously, until now, 4 years later now when I am looking at relationships differently. I'm looking at them in the future sense. But I am no way going to have the first question I ask to every guy I meet to be, "Hey, do you have the sickle cell trait?" Nope nope nopeee. I want love to happen naturally. That's just me. 

So far this is the first guy that I've came across to feel comfortable to tell about my disease. And when I told him, he understood. He gets me in every which way. He's amazing. But then part of me feels selfish as hell if i stuck with him, had a future, had kids and put my children through what I went through (and still going through now).

I was so upset with my parents for a good amount of time. Almost everytime I was put in the hospital, I would ask them, "Why would you do this to me? Knowing you both had the trait. Why would you have me and put me through this?" Mind you, this was when I was in extreme pain, and I lash out when I'm in my bad pain stages. The reason I was mostly upset was because my parents never loved each other. Theyre nigerian and back then, it was the norm to just get married for the sake of being married. They are divorced now. I always told myself, it would have been worth it if they at least had love for each other. So I'm kind of using that as an "excuse" to say that what me and my guy have right now is okay and to not let go because it is real...maybe my kids will understand.

OK, let me stop. I don't even know if me and him will even last. Sorry for rant. But yes, talking to him and my doctor is my plan. 


Nothing to be sorry for...so far u look like u r doing the right/correct things to handle all of what is going on in ur life..keep us posted and good luck
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote CherryBlossom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 5:43am
I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said OP..Hug

so sorry you have to go through that, it's tough, I have relatives who have ss (and I carry the trait too)..talking to your partner and seeking medical advice definitely sounds like a good option, I wish you all the best.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote tatee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 8:06am
75% is a really high risk to take but you know that already, so im just gonna offer hugsHugHugHug
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 8:49am
Why the ftp's/quoting in this thread @ blaque and dior...seems kinda weird and out of place.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 9:01am
Is adoption out of the question?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 9:36am
HugOP
Good for you for being proactive about your future! If you feel comfortable, have a discussion with him. You may need to have several during the course of your relationship as your feelings grow for each other. Also, perhaps you should both sit down with your doctor in the future and discuss the possibilities. HTH!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Naturalchick30 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2013 at 9:42am
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Getchu a white man.
Dead
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