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Thinking About Giving Up On My Hair Journey..

 
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MzRealli View Drop Down
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    Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 7:23pm
Ladies.. my hasn't grown in over 2 years and I am very very discouraged.

My hair used to be past my shoulders and down my back. Now my hair is not even past HALF of my neck. It is ridiculously short.

I am not used to having short hair as I maintained my hair over the years but I don't know what happened.

Last year my mother, aunt and step father died on three separate occasions (all in one year) and I have been extremely stressed out. 

Now losing another part of me (my hair) is making me give up on this hair journey.

I relax my hair every month.. with Organic Root Simulator Extra Strength Relaxer (since my hair is thick)


Then from there I would use the Silk Elements Kera Minerals Smoothing Deep Conditioner
http://www.sallybeauty.com/deep-conditioner/SBS-373682,default,pd.?cm_vc=SEARCH - http://www.sallybeauty.com/deep-conditioner/SBS-373682,default,pd.html?cm_vc=SEARCH


After towel drying my hair I apply.... the Ion Miracle Leave In Conditioner:
http://www.sallybeauty.com/leave-in-conditioner/ION162,default,pd.?cm_vc=SEARCH - http://www.sallybeauty.com/leave-in-conditioner/ION162,default,pd.html?cm_vc=SEARCH

Then I wrap my hair around and put the Ampro Gel

Another thing when I gel my hair my edges are so short and hairline is pushed back where I have to comb over bangs just to cover my sides. I cannot wear my hair back in a drawstring ponytail without geling down my bangs in the front because thats how bad my side edges are.


I know gel is not good but its the only thing I have used that keeps my hair tamed.

BREAKAGE - My hair breaks off extremely after every wash. I cannot wash my hair without more than 10 strands of hair being all over the place.. and thats even after applying leave in conditioner on a regular!!!

I was a product junkie and I bet there isn't a product u can recommend that I didn't use.. and the past items I used never worked

I believe I have thick kinky hair but its not retaining length.. I've tried oils, gels, mouuse, pomades, butter, creams, lotions, you name it... nothing works.

I've tried ACV rinse.. applying EVOO .. no luck.

I need you ladies to help me grow back my hair.. I promise to not wear weaves again if I can get it past my shoulders.

Please answer these questions as well before you respond...

1. Should I stop using relaxers?

2. What can really stop the breakage of my hair?

3. Should I consider Hair finity vitamins? I really want my hair to grow

Please help me ladies.. I want to get my hair back on track. It's been 2 years!!
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Catrice26 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Catrice26 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 8:41pm
you don't have to stop relaxing period(although it would be best) but every month is way too much. also extra strength relaxers are doing damage. Using gel is ok as long as you use a moisturizer under it, also try and get an alcohol free gel. To stop the breakage I would suggest you get the aphogee 2 step treatment and a really good moisturizing deep conditioner to use right afterwards. I never took hairfinity vitamins, but i did take prenatal vitamins, biotin, and msm. they work pretty good I just got lazy and stopped. Also try and find a style that you don't have to manipulate everyday. I actually like to wear twists, braids, wigs, twist outs, braid outs , and occasional sew ins. Also you should be moisturizing your hair with a water based moisturizer and if you want seal it with a light oil

Edited by Catrice26 - Sep 17 2013 at 8:42pm
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MzRealli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MzRealli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 19 2013 at 4:06pm
I've tried all that, still hasn't worked....
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Barmaid1980 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Barmaid1980 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2013 at 1:37am
Pure Organic Unrefined Coconut Oil is the answer all day long as it is the only essential oil that penetrates the hair shaft for actual moisture. Most oils coat the hair shaft, coconut oil can actually penetrate. Water is the only substance on this planet that can penetrate your hair shaft at 100%, coconut oil has the power of 50% penetration. The only oil that has this ability at such a high percentage. I have a relaxer and this is what I do to maintain my healthy well growing hair. I get it relaxed EVERY 6 weeks and this is my hair regimen. I wash it every two weeks using a well moisturizing shampoo and coconut oil. I wash it gently without any combs or brushes using just the tips of my fingers. Then I rinse out the shampoo and coconut oil and apply a leave in conditioner along with some more coconut oil and sometimes I use castor or almond oil to coat it down. After that, I put on a plastic shower cap and tie a scarf over it and let it sit all night. I then rinse it all out the next day and brow-dry my hair WELL with a rubbber tooth comb. Then I apply some more more coconut oil and style it. I wrap my hair WELL every night with a do rag and try to minimize the use of heat appliances as much as possible. Essential/Natural oils are the only thing that can truly moisturize ethnic hair and stop hair breakage. The main problem with black hair care is trouble finding products that keep the hair moisturized. These so called"ethnic hair products" being sold in stores are NOT the answer because the are not real oils. They are just good smelling products full of chemicals that are killing our ends. A lot of this stuff claim to be enriched with some essential oils like olive oil, jojoba or coconut but the question is how much? I'm thinking probably no more than a table spoon and the rest of the ingredients are chemicals that are NO good to reach and/or maintain healthy black hair. Essential oils are the answer and Coconut Oil is #1 on the list. Lastly, if you are interested in trying all of the essential oils available to you try
Nothing But the Oils by the Secret of Eden. It can be purchased online at www.secretsofeden.com/
and it is a bottle mixed with 20 essential oils. Good Luck!!!😊
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krisviola1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote krisviola1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2013 at 9:19am
Hi MzRealli.

I can't imagine the pain and the stress you've had to go through in the past year.  I lost a parent when I was very young. And in the past year have gone through horrible losses as well.  My hair wasn't effected but I lost a horrible amount of weight.  When you are emotionally stressed, your body will respond.  The only things that have helped are time and talking to someone.  Have you been talking to a professional about your losses?

You've said that you tried any hair product under the sun.  I believe you.  On a hair journey it's tempting to try every product out there.  So maybe the key to your hair growth isn't using products or anything you can buy at the store.  From here on out, focus on healing and your hair is sure to follow.

I'm going to suggest transitioning to natural hair, but not because of the damage relaxers can do.  Transitioning to natural may be a symbolic change in your life that will allow you to explore other lifestyles.  It wouldn't have to be forever, but just an experiment to help you learn something different about yourself and keep your mind occupied during the grieving process.  If your hair grows as a result, it would just be a bonus.

I wish you well and I'm encouraging you and sending you love and positivity and hair growth wishes through the internet.  Just know that one day you WILL have your long hair that flows down your back again, and it won't be for anyone else but yourself.
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krisviola1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote krisviola1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2013 at 9:26am
Now to answer your questions.

Should I stop using relaxers?
Yes.  I think you should stop using relaxers.  Maybe not forever but for an extended stretch of time.  I don't know of anyone, professional stylist or otherwise who recommends relaxing once a month.  Can you try to go for 8 weeks without a relaxer or longer?  Ultimately, I think your hair would flourish most as a natural but it's a commitment only you can make.
2. What can really stop the breakage of my hair?
There are lots of things that can stop your hair breakage.  Try cutting down the use of hair gel and embrace the length of your hair as it is now.  Maybe while you're waiting for hair growth, cut your hair into a low maintenance short style that will allow you to enjoy it and not feel like your short hair rules ou.  Own that short hair and give it TLC every day.  Moisturize, cleanse, oil and gently detangle whenever you can.  The key to stopping hair breakage is keeping your ritual simple and treating your hair gently.
3. Should I consider Hair finity vitamins? I really want my hair to grow
I don't suggest Hair Finity vitamins.  They are very expensive and you can find the same multi-vitamin benefits from any brand that you can find at a store.  But the greatest vitamin boost you can give your hair is through a healthy diet with lots of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and healthy proteins.


Edited by krisviola1 - Oct 08 2013 at 9:27am
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LadyAradia View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LadyAradia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2013 at 10:26am
Problem 1 touchups too soon, chemical too strong. Ends overprocessed and breaking
Problem 2 hard gel on hair that makes it hard and snap
Problem 3 not oiling hair every night (moisturizing and sealing)

Solutions
  •  Have someone who knows what they are doing professionally to do just 4 me texturizers every 3 months instead of every month. I get my friend's 4c hair just as straight with this as others do with a super relaxer. BUT I work the hair constantly with my fingers and move very rapidly so that I can work each section 4 times before rinsing out.  
  • Get Aphogee 2 step conditioner and use around the time you do relaxer. 
  • Moisturize and seal the hair every night with coconut oil and olive oil
  • wrap every night with oil and cover with a stocking and then silk bonnet  or take a break with braids or a cornrows under a wig.

You need to get 3 months of new growth  while using protein and moisturizing conditioners every shampoo.  Do not touchup until you have 2-3 months of new growth to avoid excessive overlapping o chemicals and give the hair a chance to strengthen with the aphogee.

Stop using gel to wrap the hair with. It dries and makes the hair hard and brittle. It snaps when you try to comb it . Use non hardening products like oil.  
 I feel what you are doing is trying to smooth the hair and keep it straight but you need to give it a break by wearing a wig for about 3 months so you can get enough new growth OR just wet set with no hardening gel or setting lotion. Moisturize and seal the hair every night with coconut oil at least or coconut with olive oil.
Instead of the hard gel with wraps, Wrap the hair every night with nothing but oil and cover it with a tight stocking and a satin scarf. The tight stocking on a wrap  with oil everynight will tame your hair with nightly wraps instead of using gel.

Maxi Hair vitamins are cheaper than Hairfinity. Hair vitamins are good but wont stop the breakage of overprocessed ends and brittle gel snapping hair.


Edited by LadyAradia - Oct 08 2013 at 11:36am
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yahya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote yahya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2013 at 12:21pm
It's also not just about what highly recommended products you're using, it's more important to make sure your protein/moisture balance is stable, especially as a relaxed head, and that your porosity and elasticity is normal. you can analyze your hair's condition by doing an elasticity and porosity test with a couple strands of your hair. there are many videos and tutorials on how to do this.  

you should also learn to stretch your relaxers, but do it gradually. if you've never stretched before you can get even more breakage. try to stretch for at least 2 months and work yourself up to stretching longer as you get the hang of it.
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yahya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote yahya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2013 at 12:22pm
It's also not just about what highly recommended products you're using, it's more important to make sure your protein/moisture balance is stable, especially as a relaxed head, and that your porosity and elasticity is normal. you can analyze your hair's condition by doing an elasticity and porosity test with a couple strands of your hair. there are many videos and tutorials on how to do this.  

you should also learn to stretch your relaxers, but do it gradually. if you've never stretched before you can get even more breakage. try to stretch for at least 2 months and work yourself up to stretching longer as you get the hang of it.
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nicolecashville View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nicolecashville Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2014 at 2:33pm
Due to your stress I would stop relaxing at least until you are mentally better. I would suggest protective styles with and without extensions. You dont need hair infinity. Try taking b complex, b6,cod liver oil, and msm supplements. Also for your mood St. Johns Wort. Look on YouTube about cayenne pepper and Jamaican black castor oil for hair growth. Im gonna try that soon.
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