There is this woman in my life that God has been
speaking to me about for the last 2 years. I've had dreams of her not truly
being there for me. Not truly loving me. Not truly being happy for me. But in
real life, she's sweet, she's concerned, she's anointed. I tried to ignore the
dreams and impressions, thinking that the enemy was trying to divide us. But she
stayed on my heart and on my mind.
Me: God, what is this? Why
can't I shake her? Why do I feel this uneasiness with her?
God: She's a Spiritual
Puppeteer. And she's trying to take my place in your life.
What's a spiritual puppeteer? Well, I'm glad
She Always Gives Unsolicited Advice
- When you try to just have girl talk with her, she interrupts with:
"You should do this. You should do that. I'll teach you. I'll show you. Come
with me!" What she doesn't realize is that you just wanted to share a part of
your life. She doesn't even care to hear how you'd like to handle your
situation. Or chances are you like your situation! But she doesn't listen long
enough to realize that.
She Gets Offended When You Don't Take
Her Advice - When you reject her advice that you never even asked for,
she gets offended. She defensively replies, "I'm just trying to help." She says
she supports you, or "do what you got to do" but her voice is filled with
sarcasm and/or doubt. She doesn't believe that you can handle it without her
help. She wants you to learn from her mistakes, not realizing that sometimes you
don't truly learn until you've made your own.
She Acts Like She's the Only One Who
Can Hear From God - Because she is known for hearing from God, she uses
that as a tool to try to control you. Maybe she doesn't do it on purpose, maybe
she does it out of "love," but she doesn't give you a chance to hear from God
yourself. She acts as if you can't hear from God. Because your faith doesn't
make sense to her, it's automatically not of the Lord. She doesn't understand
that more often than not, her role is to pray you through, not try to tell you
what to do. She tries to rob you of the opportunity of getting to know God for
She Doesn't Realize that She's not Your
God - She forgets that even though God used her before to minister to
you, He may not use her again. He uses different people so you don't idolize one
person. He does this so you can remember that it is He who brings counsel and
wisdom 100%. She gets offended if you turn to others for advice for a different
situation. She always expects you to return to her.
She Wants to Turn You into Her
Follower - As quiet as it's kept, she wants to train you and be
responsible for your success; as long as it doesn't surpass hers. She'll never
admit it. But your growth and success intimidates her. She wants you to grow
just enough to take the credit for being such an influence in your life.
She Can't Applaud You for Following
Your Heart - Simply put, unless you do things exactly how she'd do it,
you won't get any support from her. If you go to a school she doesn't approve
of, or dress differently then she prefers, or if you choose to live somewhere
she doesn't like ... well, you won't get genuine support. You'll never feel like
she truly accepts you for who you are.
If You Don't Jump to Do Things Her Way,
You're Automatically Against Her - She feels that rejecting her ideas,
opinions, or advice equals rejecting her. Saying no to her long enough will
result in a distance and awkwardness between you and her.
I know we all have at least one "Spiritual"
Puppeteer in our lives. I use the term "Spiritual" because all of my writing is
related to the Church, the Body of Christ.
If you're like me, you need to feel like you
have space to breathe. I don't mind her ending up being right after the dust
settles, but I have to see that for myself. Not just because she says so. The
truth is, she has control issues. She wants everyone to be about her, and do
things to her liking. But it's subtle and hidden under the name of
If you are the puppeteer, repent, forgive
yourself, and seek change. If this blog helps to identify the puppeteer in your
life (which can be a man or woman), bless God! Here's what you do:
If you have fallen victim to her ways of
manipulation, FORGIVE HER and don't take it personally. Most of
the time the puppeteer doesn't realize what she's doing. She tries to help so
much that she doesn't realize that she's pushing you away.
PRAY FOR HER, so that she can
see herself. If she truly loves God, she'll seek change.
If you feel led by the Holy Spirit, sit down
and TALK TO HER. If you're speaking in truth and in love, you
will inspire her to change.
Don't ostracize her. Maybe you can't
continually have conversations with her because you know how they'll end
(unfruitful & frustrating), but you can still greet her with a genuine smile
and hug. You can support her endeavors. You can pray with her. You can offer her
a shoulder to lean on. YOU CAN LOVE HER.