Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last in Dating?
you’re anything like most men, you’ve probably had your share of bad
dates. I’ve been there as well. There have been times when I thought a
date is going really well, but it actually ended up quite the opposite
of what I expected.
However, all of this changed when I found out that I’d been doing
something that was quickly turning women off. I was being too nice.
Now while I am not saying that you should completely do away with
being nice, overdoing it can lead to your date to thinking that you’re
faking the whole thing.
Let me explain what I mean…
During my extensive research into the female psychology, I found out
that a reaction in a woman’s brain occurs when she feels that a guy is
being too nice. Instead of warming up to him, an alarm goes off in the
brain that tells her that she isn’t safe with him.
Based on a study conducted by the Kasper Loscalzo Institute of
Psychology, a woman’s brain releases “feel good” hormones like serotonin
and oxytocin when she feels that a guy is being nice to her.
On the other hand, if a woman feels that a man is simply too nice to
the point that she thinks it is too good to be true, these happy
hormones disappear and get replaced with cortisol, a stress hormone.
Cortisol induces effects in the body that are the exact opposite of
feeling good. Besides raising a woman’s blood pressure levels, this
hormone also causes bouts of anxiety, confusion and even fear.
So instead of establishing a connection with your date, you will only
end up making her feel that she has to get away from you. And that’s
not the result you want, is it? Unfortunately, this is the only effect
you’ll get when you make your date feel when you are too nice.
Moreover, the researchers gathered that besides making a woman feel
distrustful of a guy who’s overly trying to project himself as Mr. Nice
Guy, she will also think something horrible could happen because
cortisol also stimulates unpleasant thoughts.
(Cortisol can also make it really tough for a woman to get sufficiently wet during sex.)
So the next time you’re going on a date, keep in mind that being too
nice won’t lead to something good. It will only cut your date much
shorter than you planned.