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Gigi-07 View Drop Down
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Joined: Dec 30 2006
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: The Manageability Mindset
    Posted: Jul 05 2007 at 6:42pm
I know my hair's potential, so people need to stop telling me what it can or cannot do. I'm not just talking to my relatives or friends, but even to my fellow "hair sisters" who keep making ignorant remarks. Let me set the record straight and say this: I don't care what you heard about what I've got or what it looks like, if you're not dealing with it, or have nothing nice to say about it, stay quiet.
I'm talking about those who like to comment on a particular hair type. A very rarely addressed issue, but an issue. I've been on the BHM boards for 6 months now and I have learned so much. It's evident that others have also learned a lot. But I keep hearing people, even fellow 4bs talking about how our hair is "really dry", they’ve kept this nasty inferiority complex, saying it's "really nappy", they even comment about its "unmanageability" and "stress" and "problems", that it doesn’t curl, that it “misbehaves”. I have to say that is despicable. I'll tell you the truth, I used to think the same way, but I put it into perspective one day. What if 4b hair was the ideal? It seems as though everybody wants to be closer to the ideal. It’s the same ol' story we keep hearing about society’s effect on us, but it’s the same ol' crap I keep hearing from my own people that lets me know that no one does much about it but complain. How about changing the “Manageability Mindset”?
How many people can take a piece of hair and stick it straight up in the air and it'll stay there? Some apply globs and gobs of gel in their hair to achieve this feat of the 4b head. How many people can twist up their hair and it'll stay twisted for quite a long period of time? 4bs can. How many folks hair can get so wide, with enormous height, and huge that it stops traffic? Or dazzle people when you pull and stretch a few strands down from the scalp to the shoulders, demonstrating the absolutely amazing shrinkage of 4b hair? 4bs can. Who’s able to achieve every single style? (Straight haired folks can never have hair like ours...but we can always have straight hair, thanks to 4b versatility. From the coiliest, curliest, kinkiest afro to the straightest tresses)? 4bs can. I have a question for my 4bs: If you’re not proud of your 4b hair, then who will be?
And how many people can rock a tight, round, wool-textured, cottony soft afro, ball-shaped and picked to perfection? Get my point?
I'm tired of hearing "4b hair has no curl"....uh hum...speak for yourself ma'am. My hair has curl and many 4b heads I know have curl. NO, that does not mean I’m 4a, I know my hair type is 4b. And anyway, so what if it doesn't? Oh wait, that means the hair is no good?
It's easy to squash all the 4bs in one nice, snuggly category and call it all "hard to manage" since it's all hard to manage...for the unfamiliar ones, and say that all 4b heads don’t have curls, but most folks (and they are not 4bs themselves) don't know squat about the many many types of the 4b type within itself. The “Manageability Mindset”.
“Oh my Goodness, time to slap on a perm because this hair is just too difficult to manage” I’ve heard this complaint too too many times. I understand some people just like straightened hair and that’s their preference…good. But for those who don’t even try…I’m disappointed. For those who say 4b is too difficult to handle natural…I’m disappointed. How about taking some time and not losing your patience so easily? Imagine if relaxers never existed…I guess all 4bs would die of Hair Manageability Madness Syndrome.
I'm tired of people being overly overly overjoyed when they curl pattern becomes a little less than 4b...they want to shout it out from atop every mountain..."My curl pattern is looser!" Because that means your hair is more ideal...or more manageable? The “Manageability Mindset”. It's time to start accepting that the curl pattern you had before was just fine. Or how about those who spend hundreds and hundreds of hard earned bucks a year searching for that product that'll make their hair shine ad bounce...knowing damn well deep inside that the ideal will never ever be for them.
We’re all aware that there’s a difference between change in texture and overall hair health. Since when did people start considering naturally coarse hair “unhealthy”? It seems like ever since methods like the miracle of co-washing were discovered, coarse hair is out-of-the-question.
Ladies need to speak for themselves when they say that hairs hard to manage, because my 4b strands certainly aren't. With everything I do, I take time TO LEARN. As I've learned about black hair care, I have learned about MY HAIR. It's not rocket science; learn what works and it'll work for you. It's time for us to start instilling some pride in one another and quit bashing our hair. It's not enough to say "All hair is good hair because it's healthy blah blah blah", a hair slogan doesn't have to be some cliché slogan we chant like a someone who puts on a fake smile because if you really love your hair, it'll be clear as day. I should be hearing more "I love my hair because...”… I'm not talking about some fake love, such as "I love it for what it is, tangles, knots, sometimes manageable weirdness " with the sarcasm of your fake love oozing from between your two ungrateful lips, like it's something to "accept", once again, like it's a problem for you. But how about not complaining, enjoying what 4b hair is like, and just being free. We don't have to be trapped in this "Manageability Mindset" anymore.

Let's be proud to be 4b.

Edited by Gigi-07 - Jul 05 2007 at 6:42pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 05 2007 at 6:49pm
Clap Wonderful!!
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Gigi-07 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 05 2007 at 7:58pm
^^ Thanks Embarrassed
 
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dawn View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 05 2007 at 8:04pm
Oh that is so sweet I love my 4b strands. I just wish that I didn't have to take crap from others because I stretch my relaxers so long.
God bless you.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2007 at 11:52pm
Well Said!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 07 2007 at 12:25am
awwww!Thumbs%20Up My little sister is 4b and I LOVE her tight curls! She does too, especially since I started her using Carefree Curl Gold! That REALLY enhances her curl pattern!
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