Noney that is an interesting perspective and I understand why you would feel that way. I do agree on a small level that black men see themselves as men first and black second. I'm supersad that it seems that way because there are many black men who are 100% with us.
I think we need to hold them accountable for this abandonment. We need to put it in their fact so that they know and understand the way we perceive their failure to defend us with equal tenacity (the way we defend them).
My theory is that their need to be in tune with the overly manly group and to appear strong is the reason they tend to fall back when they shouldn't. I don't believe they always know it comes off as indifference. You're not supposed to have feelings because that's girly. But men have very strong feelings (emotions) and not a lot of counteractions that are productive and safe.
As an example my husband refuses to get to involved in certain things and tells me to let him know when someone needs to die. He feels like he only has one response to certain types of disrespect. Kill. Especially when it comes to me and the kids. His warning is be careful what you tell me.
Basically in a war your soldiers take their cue from the commanders. Men only really know one way to handle certain things so they fall back. In this case they need to get closer to the problem without killing everybody
Anyway, all that said just for those who want to discuss this with the people around them and really make a change. Don't waste your time on the cooning niccahs and you can spot them a mile away.