Funny, sometimes people ask me where I am from and when I say 'America' they will say 'Oh you mean South America?'and I will say - 'No, I mean the REAL America - like where Obama lives'. Hee hee!
Sometimes we have to go back and forth on this point ... as there are different nationalities of Black people over here - so people take pride in 'reading' other people's nationality.
Now, before the wig, I did not that have that South American thing going on so indeed the wig confuses people.
There are not a lot of Black people in general over here so aside from a couple of nosy Black American girls in the beginning - 5 years ago, basically people (Black or White) don't ask me about my hair.
I think people either think it's mine or that it's a very good weave and I am fine with that. I can't control what people think afterall .. but people are not asking or bugging me about my hair and that's all I care about.
For the OP ... umm this is always a bone of contention on this site. HOW TO ANSWER QUERIES ABOUT YOUR HAIR. People often get so mad about this issue on this forum - but ultimately we are all living our own lives so we have to all make our own choices about what to say about our hair. It's up to you .. but then you have to live with your decision.
The thing is ... you can't stop people from being rude. There are rude people the world over and if you tell them they are rude - they likely will not care. They just want to know the deal and that overrides the fact that they are being rude. This is human nature.
However, you CAN control what you reveal or how you react to this rudeness. So for me, I would never 'fess up' to my hair care secrets to my
colleagues in the office. Never.
(I would fess up to friends or if someone on the street stopped me and asked though. Now to a 'false' friend I would not tell either but I would not out and out LIE because then you might get found out so then you will look very foolish.)
So at work if someone asked ...
I would neither 'confirm' nor would I 'deny' the origins of my hair. I would just smile quietly and make a joke of it like - 'I could tell you my (hair) secret ... but then I'd have to kill you! Hee hee!'
and that's it.
Let them think it's a weave or let them think whatever the heck they want to think. That's not my problem. But I would not say it was a wig. No, wigs have a stigma to them and ... they will want to know alllllll about how it can look so real. So then it becomes this big deal and gosh ... a flippen mess.
But I've gotta work for a living .. not talk about my hair.
So the reason why is exactly what happen with you. These people will likely forever be in your hair business and you will never hear the end of it.
That IS your place of work so you HAVE to go there every day no matter what. So generally, I try to get along with everyone and at the end of the day I say 'bye' and go back to my own life.
This goes for people that attend AA meetings, have boob job etc ... anything 'sensitive' or that would involve controversy .. stay away from it.
I believe ... you have to set boundaries about such personal things in the workplace.
And once you tell .. you can never unring that bell nor can you control what people do with that information - who they tell etc (as on this instance). So I say in the future DUMMY UP. Play your cards close to your chest. Period.
Now that the secret is out, sorry but you will have to live with it. I would try to avoid conversations about it and don't get mad at them - because they will just keep pushing your buttons.
I wish I could suggest something better.
Not nice.
Edited by Becky - Dec 29 2012 at 7:57am
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RedWine wrote:
" or 'well that weave looks like a Million Dollars!!!
. End of conversation...point blank. After all, people will say what they want about you. I always tell people when they say, "so and so is talking about you", "They talked about Jesus" and keep it moving. That shuts them up every time.
