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"Thats Your Hair?" "Naw...Its a Wig"

 
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RedWine View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote RedWine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 28 2012 at 11:25pm
I have noticed that although people don't ask me about my hair-except for the glitter thing. They ask about my race. Ouch They do that without the wig, but I get it more with the wig.
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Becky View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Becky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 29 2012 at 2:27am
Funny, sometimes people ask me where I am from and when I say 'America' they will say 'Oh you mean South America?'and I will say - 'No, I mean the REAL America - like where Obama lives'. Hee hee! Smile Sometimes we have to go back and forth on this point ... as there are different nationalities of Black people over here - so people take pride in 'reading' other people's nationality.
 
 
Now, before the wig, I did not that have that South American thing going on so indeed the wig confuses people.
 
There are not a lot of Black people in general over here so aside from a couple of nosy Black American girls in the beginning - 5 years ago, basically people (Black or White) don't ask me about my hair.
 
I think people either think it's mine or that it's a very good weave and I am fine with that. I can't control what people think afterall .. but people are not asking or bugging me about my hair and that's all I care about. Tongue
 
For the OP ... umm this is always a bone of contention on this site. HOW TO ANSWER QUERIES ABOUT YOUR HAIR. People often get so mad about this issue on this forum - but ultimately we are all living our own lives so we have to all make our own choices about what to say about our hair. It's up to you .. but then you have to live with your decision. Stern Smile
 
The thing is ... you can't stop people from being rude. There are rude people the world over and if you tell them they are rude - they likely will not care. They just want to know the deal and that overrides the fact that they are being rude. This is human nature.
 
However, you CAN control what you reveal or how you react to this rudeness. So for me, I would never 'fess up' to my hair care secrets to my colleagues in the office. Never.Confused (I would fess up to friends or if someone on the street stopped me and asked though. Now to a 'false' friend I would not tell either but I would not out and out LIE because then you might get found out so then you will look very foolish.)
 
So at work if someone asked ... I would neither 'confirm' nor would I 'deny' the origins of my hair. I would just smile quietly and make a joke of it like - 'I could tell you my (hair) secret ... but then I'd have to kill you! Hee hee!' Wink and that's it.
 
Let them think it's a weave or let them think whatever the heck they want to think. That's not my problem. But I would not say it was a wig. No, wigs have a stigma to them and ... they will want to know alllllll about how it can look so real. So then it becomes this big deal and gosh ... a flippen mess.
But I've gotta work for a living .. not talk about my hair. Ouch
 
So the reason why is exactly what happen with you. These people will likely forever be in your hair business and you will never hear the end of it.Disapprove That IS your place of work so you HAVE to go there every day no matter what. So generally, I try to get along with everyone and at the end of the day I say 'bye' and go back to my own life. Smile  This goes for people that attend AA meetings, have boob job etc ... anything 'sensitive' or that would involve controversy .. stay away from it.
 
I believe ...  you have to set boundaries about such personal things in the workplace.
 
And once you tell .. you can never unring that bell nor can you control what people do with that information - who they tell etc (as on this instance). So I say in the future DUMMY UP. Play your cards close to your chest. Period.
 
Now that the secret is out, sorry but you will have to live with it. I would try to avoid conversations about it and don't get mad at them - because they will just keep pushing your buttons. Confused I wish I could suggest something better. Stern Smile Not nice.


Edited by Becky - Dec 29 2012 at 7:57am
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RedWine View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RedWine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 29 2012 at 1:25pm
I have a friend that I had not seen in years. Now back in 2000, she wes sitting right next to me when I got my weave installed. Now seeing her in 2012 she asked me how much of the hair was mine and were did the tracks start. I know now that some of my "friends" are insecure and will try to undermine me or embarrass me. I just keep ALL my business to myself- including who I date, ect.

So she asks about my hair. I said, "This is ALL my hair, girl." and gave a little laugh. I did it really exaggerated and we both know it was a lie and a joke. The point is I never told her. Cause like Becky said, you can't unring a bell, so I just neva eva ring it in the first place.
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Becky View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Becky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 29 2012 at 3:06pm
Originally posted by RedWine RedWine wrote:

I have a friend that I had not seen in years. Now back in 2000, she wes sitting right next to me when I got my weave installed. Now seeing her in 2012 she asked me how much of the hair was mine and were did the tracks start. I know now that some of my "friends" are insecure and will try to undermine me or embarrass me. I just keep ALL my business to myself- including who I date, ect.

So she asks about my hair. I said, "This is ALL my hair, girl." and gave a little laugh. I did it really exaggerated and we both know it was a lie and a joke. The point is I never told her. Cause like Becky said, you can't unring a bell, so I just neva eva ring it in the first place.
 
Yes, just let her keep believing it's a weave. That's fine.
 
Don't tell. Shocked
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Veemack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 29 2012 at 3:47pm
I feel it is definitely not proper to ask a woman that especially in front of other people. I also feel if you are going to rock fake hair, then don't be timid about people knowing it is fake. In most cases they know even if they do not make it known. I am surprised a man would do that though because most of the time it is women.....It does not just happen to a well applied lacefront wigs either, I was rocking my all natural twist out the other day at CVS, and the cashier complimented me on my hair, then asked me was it all mines. I was really surprised because my hair is long but tightly coily and in no way looks like a wig or weave to me. But I took it as a compliment. I guess this will happen more and more with the popularity of all the kinky curly weaves.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RedWine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 30 2012 at 1:05am
Originally posted by Becky Becky wrote:

Originally posted by RedWine RedWine wrote:

I have a friend that I had not seen in years. Now back in 2000, she wes sitting right next to me when I got my weave installed. Now seeing her in 2012 she asked me how much of the hair was mine and were did the tracks start. I know now that some of my "friends" are insecure and will try to undermine me or embarrass me. I just keep ALL my business to myself- including who I date, ect.

So she asks about my hair. I said, "This is ALL my hair, girl." and gave a little laugh. I did it really exaggerated and we both know it was a lie and a joke. The point is I never told her. Cause like Becky said, you can't unring a bell, so I just neva eva ring it in the first place.
 
Yes, just let her keep believing it's a weave. That's fine.
 
Don't tell. Shocked

This wig is around the length of my real but thin uneven rats nest. It was much healthier then, still I am sure she knows that something is up. I have had fusion, skin wefts,integration and actual long hair. The point is, she knows what I USED to have, not what I do now. Things have really changed. People are so catty now. I think folks watch too much reality TV. My life runs so smooth now that I just keep my mouth closed and keep it moving.
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Becky View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Becky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 30 2012 at 3:43am
Well, then I must say .. you are learning a valuable life lesson ... early on.Wink (I am assuming you are fairly young). Let her think something is up all she wants - just avoid her and don't tell her.
 
Hey, people have ALWAYS been catty .. well, women and gay men at least. WinkStraight men aren't catty though. If they have a problem with another guy they will take it outside and settle it with their fists and that will be the end of it. But with women? Yada, yada, yada with the mouth and you will never hear the end of it. Dead 
 
I am just sooooo glad I am able to recognize these toxic harpies early on so I can distance myself from them completely. If it means being rude .. fine... I don't care. Just as long as they are no longer in my life. Wink I like to keep my life running smooth too - no crazy men OR crazy girlfriends - keeps me young looking and happy. Sometimes they keep trying and trying to pursue a friendship even after they have tried to cut me to ribbons with their conversation. Ahhh I just look at ém Stern Smile like ...'do you think my mama raised a FOOL?'. It's like flypaper - you can never get it off - so I try to keep myself untangled.
 
So don't tell them your (hair) business because these sorts of people .. never change. Move on.


Edited by Becky - Dec 30 2012 at 3:48am
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babycakebabe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycakebabe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 30 2012 at 4:26pm
Originally posted by RedWine RedWine wrote:


I have never seen it turn out good for any of my friends that discussed their hair, so I don't do it.

ITA. I am a really sweet person, but on the flip side, i get nasty/sweet really quickly like a 90 year old lady LOL
If someone wants to inquire about my hair, I ask them if they are considering purchasing some from me and if not, the convo is shut down, fin, finitoLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycakebabe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 30 2012 at 4:32pm
Men ask for different reasons than women. Men ask publicly right before they scream out, "you have some pretty hair!!!ClapThumbs UpApprove" or 'well that weave looks like a Million Dollars!!!StarStarStarand it seems to be that they do not see it as an offensive question. I think that any personal questions like that are tactless when asked in public, especially in front of an audience.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Butta'scotch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 30 2012 at 5:11pm
I did have a lady one time ask me in front of some other ladies in the office (I worked at a school). She was genuinely interested (another race). I looked her in the eye and didn't miss a beat and said "yes". I don't care if it was green with zebra stripes, after all...I paid for it, applied it, and wore it well...LOL. End of conversation...point blank. After all, people will say what they want about you. I always tell people when they say, "so and so is talking about you", "They talked about Jesus" and keep it moving. That shuts them up every time.
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