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That moment you realize your co-workers dont care

 
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UrbanElegance View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:02am
Hello all! I need some good advice!
 
I have worked in the education field for almost 15 years. In those years, I have always done a great job and been respectful/caring to my coworkers and the students I serve. I have worked in my particular schools for about 3 years now. I float between three schools. I have made some good relationships (so I thought) and been supportive to others while working in those schools. I am not a teacher. I work for the special education department. I evaluate children to see if they qualify for special education and participate in meetings to write their IEP's.
 
My dilemma is that I recently became ill and had to have major surgery right after Thanksgiving. As a result, I have to be off for about 4 weeks (between Thanksgiving holiday and the Christmas holiday breaks). I shared this information with my school and they have been extremely insensitive to me. Not only has no one called or inquired how I am doing. They claim that they never got my doctors note excusing me from work. My husband sent the note in several times and they have not responded to my emails asking whether they received it. Since I am up to date with all of my testing through the new year, I offered to do the scheduled meetings by phone to ensure that all of my work is done seamlessly with no delays. I asked that by working from home, that they not take all of my leave. They responded that it is "against policy" and will not be lenient on my leave if I work from home. As a result, I will not be doing any meetings from home since they are not even trying to work with me.
 
I get the sneaking suspicion that they think I am not being honest about my surgery. I have never been dishonest or played games to get out of work. Before this illness, I was always at work on time and prepared for any meeting or activity I was involved in. In essence, I have busted my a$$ for these people! I am very upset about this and hurt that no one cares about me being ill.
 
Legally I know that my doctors note is all I need. I know that legally they cannot fire me or give me a bad evaluation due to my illness. However, the emotional side is what I am dealing with. It saddens me that after 3 years of working hard, and signing get well cards for others, putting money in cards for others and caring for others...they would treat me so coldly. How should I act when I return. At this point, I want to not speak to any of them when I get back to work!!!


Edited by UrbanElegance - Dec 09 2013 at 9:28am
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tatee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote tatee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:11am
you may be expecting too much from people you work with. 
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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:12am
You are there because you are passionate about the work you do.
That is all. So go back to work with a smile on your face that you are well and fully recovered, and are capable of providing for your family while doing what you love.

Still sign those get well cards.
Do not internalize this..it won't do much good for you.

As long as you still have your independence (your income) then still be you.

(If they try to mess with your income, then you take legal action)

Good luck, and get well soon.

Edited by Derri - Dec 09 2013 at 9:13am
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trudawg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote trudawg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:16am
You need to reach out to your Teachers Union or association to protect your interest. This is a job (contractual obligation), not a family, its business don't take it personal.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote SN2BPHD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:20am
Unfortunately not everyone in helping fields are helpful. They still have personalities and negative things about them. You are there for the children. That is why you went to school for this. At no point in your masters program did you say that you took the classes you did to work with great coworkers. Sometimes the people we work with will be toxic. Hold your head high and continue to do you. The kids are worth it.
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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:23am
One day while reviewing my research, a light bulb came on for me.

What if I chose not to reflect what someone else reflected onto me?
I dug further into my research and found life shattering information.

Essentially, you don't HAVE to receive what someone reflects to you. You are an intelligent being--don't be programmed.
Don't let others dictate when and how you experience thanksgiving, blessings, and joy.

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UrbanElegance View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote UrbanElegance Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:23am
Thanks! You guys are right. Its hard not to internalize because I'm already emotional over my surgery (I had an emergency hysterectomy so my emotions are all over the place). I don't think I'm expecting too much because I have seen them reach out to others. I cant tell you how much money I have given to others who have been sick and had group cards go out for them. I don't want any money. I just want to know people care. I also know for a fact that people are allowed to work from home in emergency circumstances. I was only asking for this accommodation for a week, maximum 2 weeks.
I will reach out to my Union but like many unions these days...they are broken. All they do is take your money but don't help you in times like these. I wont expect much.
 
I will try to go back with a good attitude but now I know exactly where I stand with these people!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:25am

Did you BCC yourself on those emails to your school?

I feel some type of way that they want u to use all of your leave when there is a way for you to work from home.  There ain't really nothing you can do about how they feel about u.  They consider u an associate and nothing more.  Go to school...do your job and that is it. Personally I wouldn't sign anymore cards, give any of my money and all that sh*t. Be hurt but don't let them know that you're hurt. If u have the necessary paperwork then...I don't think u should be worried about getting fired or anything.
 
Just focus on getting better.  Take pride in your job and the kids that you help.  Get well soon.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sang Froid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:30am
How old are you? Just wondering...
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UrbanElegance View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote UrbanElegance Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:31am
Hey New Diva, I cc'd myself on all of those emails and got the fax transmission report showing that the doctors note was faxed to them.
 
Yes you're right, they are treating me like I am not really part of the school. For that, if I am ever asked to sign a card or give money to someone else, I will decline because I am not part of the school.
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